23 February 2006

dude, where's my muse? ; plus, cougars

yeah I haven't felt like writing this week.
it's a copout, writing about not writing, but there it is.
usually funny stuff happens to me and then I write about it. but not lately. hmm... that's not completely true. check this out...

I was at a wedding on saturday and me and my buddy were putting the finishing touches on our buzz after the reception. so we went to a bar in Corona del Mar (i was in my tux). while at the bar, I overheard the following exchange. I overheard it because one of the participants was me, and the other was a 40 yr old woman (for the record, she was attractive).

40 year old woman [indicating my stockpile of drinks on the bar]: are you hoarding drinks? [smiles]

drunk case [wobbling slightly]: no. i'm stockpiling. [leans on bar, looks bored/drunk/sophisticated]

40yow [tosses hair]: huh! you guys are soooo cute!

dc [still wobbly]: hmmmm... ya think?

40yow: for suuure! so, you guys like [name of bar]? is it because of all the hot older women?

dc [looking confused/ill]: no.

40yow [eyeing another woman jealously]: I can't wait until I get my surgery done.

dc [aghast]: huh?

40yow: my surgery. I'm getting the full workup now that i'm 40 - lipo my hips and waist, plus new boobs. I'm gonna be hot! [giggles]

[partner makes joke here - all laugh - I can't remember, except that it wasn't that funny]

40yow [steps closer]: so, what's with you younger guys going after older women? why do people do that?

dc [in inexplicable moment of clarity, esp. given current condition]: same reason as all other human relationships, both parties get what they want.

40yow [steps closer still]: wow! i've never heard that! you smell gooooooood! [sniffs neck, touches lapel, etc.]

dc [sensing danger]: uhh, yeah. we gotta go to... uhh... the other bar.

40yow: already? well, okay. you boys have a good time tonight! [giggles]

[exeunt all, rapidly]

only in Corona del Mar. or La Jolla. or LA. or lots of other places. but especially in CDM.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, cougars are actually supposed to be women who are old enough to be your mother, not a Few Years Older!
-- Offended Older Woman ;-)

Case said...

there is some disagreement about the exact definition of a cougar.
old enough to be my mother? i'm 32. I don't think women old enough to be my mother even go to bars.
my def'n of a cougar: a divorced, forty-something woman at the bar, trolling for some fresh meat. this girl fit the profile. barely.