28 September 2009

Isn't 'music video' an oxymoron?

What exactly is a video of music, anyway? Because most 'music videos' have music in the background, but you don't actually see much in the way of anyone making music. This one is different. It's a video of people making music, and I liked it. (Hat tip to my friend Brian.)

23 September 2009

A whole week, and nothing?

A whole week and nothing. I'm doing my best but I don't get out as much as I used to and I can't do a post about motorcycles every day. I mean that you would read. Because I'm sure I could do one every day if it came to that.

Today on my motorcycle I was almost killed by someone merging back into the carpool lane from the shoulder. Traffic was moving at a brisk 75 MPH. Instead of using the shoulder to build up speed, they turned their blinker on and just, you know, pulled into the lane. Never mind that there was a paved shoulder on which to accelerate. That's the kind of idiocy you just don't see every day. To be fair, the blinker was a huge help. It was a like an idiot flag flapping in the breeze, announcing that the impending stupidity. A real lifesaver.

Maybe that's the new recommended lane change: turn on your blinker and go. No need to look over your shoulder to that spot not covered by your mirror. Or look behind you some distance if traffic is moving quickly. If there's anyone there they will honk. Or die. Either way.

Only 10 minutes later I also avoided hitting a guy that made a right turn into my lane. I saw that shit coming from a distance, which was good, because he looked right through me (I'm easy to miss on a bright orange motorcycle, and black & white jacket, in broad daylight). Alls well that ends well, I guess.

You know, it's not that motorcycles are dangerous (although they are), it's that people don't pay attention. And they're stupid. (Mostly the latter.)

17 September 2009

Let's get political

I know the readership appreciates the dick jokes but I got an email from a friend today that really annoyed me so I had to clear a few things up. We'll get back to dick jokes and motorcycles as soon as possible.

In the interim, if you want some information on ACORN, here you go.

[note from my friend]

well maybe that should be at the forefront of the issue and not fining people for not having healthcare. how are you going to fine a poor person. it is absurd. obama care is like acorn--waste of everyone's time and money. can we please fix the dam economy.

[my response, which you may find useful if some fucktard suggests that ACORN is 'what's wrong with this country' or some similar bullshit. These issues seem to be wrapped up in people's minds in an irrational way, so allow me to inject some perspective.]

What are you talking about with the fines and Acorn? first things first: do you really think they will fine people for not having health coverage? really? and if they did, how is that different from fining people for doing stuff like not wearing a motorcycle helmet or a seatbelt? Be smarter than that.

As for Acorn: don't you have a degree from an ivy league university in urban planning or poor studies or something? do you know that Acorn works to empower poor people? in the last 15 years they have collected ~50 million dollars from the Feds. That's about $3.1 million a year, and they spent it trying to help poor people be less poor. Is that a waste of time and money?

Because the last time I checked poor people hadn't bankrupted the country while collecting TRILLIONS of dollars in bonuses and bailouts (thanks wall street), started any wasteful wars (thanks GW), raped environmental protections (GW again). Don't be so obtuse. Acorn is just some smoke and mirrors. You will never be affected by it unless you suddenly become tragically poor and the only affect is that you will be more fucked than you imagined because the senate just cut the funding. 3.1 million a year - we gave $700 billion to the banks and no one knows where it went AND they're about to make more money than ever and you think Acorn is the issue?

Acorn represents a portion of the federal budget so small I had a hard time putting in my calculator because there were too many zeroes, but it's about .0004% of the money we gave to the banks this past year, not to mention what we spent on defense and everything else. The total amount, in 15 years, is .007% of what we gave to the banks this past year. That's 7 thousandth's of one percent. If you had one thousand dollars that means you gave me 70 cents. I'll try not to spend it all in one place.

16 September 2009

Obama sounds like an actual person

It's only audio, but it's 60 seconds of superb audio.
I love that this is the last word on Kanye West. Forever.

14 September 2009

Mid-life crisis: managed

That's a picture of the motorcyle I bought this weekend. I snapped a photo just after I committed to buying it. With my cellphone. So it's a little grainy but it's the best I could do for now. I'll post more pictures when I get some time.

I think this is it for the mid-life crisis. I'm glad I didn't have to get a divorce, bail on my kids, or even get a bunch of plastic surgery. I just had to get a new motorcycle that goes 180 MPH and 0-60 in 2.9 seconds.

Whoever says money can't buy happiness doesn't have 13 grand to spend at Honda.

10 September 2009

Nerds on parade

If you ever wondered what I do for work you can read about it here:

It opens a PDF file and that's an obstacle if you're running FireFox and/or don't have Acrobat Reader. And it's also kind of boring unless you're crazy or weird.

Not included in the case study: I might get laid off next week. Hoping not, but you never know.
(I am sure I mentioned it in the interview - no idea why they didn't write it in there.)

04 September 2009

Eric the King

Superb essay on great volleyed goals over on the Guardian today. This was my favorite part, reproduced in its entirety because Cantona defined imperious. He was insufferable. He was arrogant. He was rude. He was mercurial. But he was so, so good. Moreover, he was so much better than anyone else at the time in the Premier League.
They called him Eric the King for a reason.

Here's the essay to accompany the video (from Rob Smyth of the Guardian):

The volley is widely perceived as the hardest skill in football, but the flip side of that difficulty is that it is the perfect tool with which to demonstrate your superiority, as Eric Cantona showed at Selhurst Park in 1994. The backstory is important here: Cantona should have been sent off in the previous round, at Norwich, and in the seemingly interminable build-up to this match (the FA Cup was big news in those days), Wimbledon promised to ruffle his feathers, get in his face, and other popular cliches. Early on Vinnie Jones piled in with a laughable and predictable reducer; Cantona simply looked Jones up and down with the sort of magisterial contempt that only he could muster, and then, just before half-time, showed how you really hurt someone on a football field.

Gary Elkins made his only contribution to football history by heading Denis Irwin's long cross to the edge of the box, whereupon Cantona killed the ball with a velvety touch and then leathered it beyond Hans Segers. It was a perfectly unanswerable piece of skill that broke Wimbledon, who had been in the game until then, completely. There is some rather absurd revisionism going round about Cantona's contribution to the Premier League. He might not have been the greatest overseas player in English football history - the quality of the game in this country has increased so much in the last 15 years - but nobody has been so superior to his peers. And nobody knew how to demonstrate that superiority in such a regal manner. This was not a footballer; this was Cantona.

03 September 2009

Dorkout + Justice = teh goods

Mmm... You might recognize this song from the Cadillac commercial, but whatever. It was awesome before Justice sold it to Cadillac. And they didn't sell exclusive rights (smart!), because they got paid again, and it's better this time. Plus: Assassin's Creed 2 motherfucker! Leonardo da Vinci! The middle ages! Stabbing people with knives attached to your wrists!!!111!!!!one!1!!

Are you ready for some football?

I mean football with a round ball and 2 goals. What did you think I meant? Is some other football season starting? I hadn't heard. Anyway, the English Premier League got underway a couple weeks ago and it was going brilliantly until my favorite team lost at Manchester Sucknited. In honor of the start of the season here's one of my all-time favorite goals. Watch the HQ version, b/c the quality of the first part of video is a bit off but you get the idea, and if you watch the whole thing you can see the distance of the the shot (20 yards), number of guys he beats (four, counting the goalie), and the quality of the touch (sublime).

For more brilliance, go here.

02 September 2009

It's been forever

I know, I know. I've been super busy and when I get a chance I don't spend any extra time in front of the computer.
Here's a quick rundown:

1. It's hot
2. Stuff is on fire
3. I still have a job
4. It's hot.
5. I need to get out more.

That's all for now. More this weekend when something interesting happens.