27 May 2016

I Thought You Said Your Dog Would Not Bite

Didn't mean to suggest that the sweet pups in the last post is my pups. If I got a dog that would be the first thing I mentioned. I bought that bear as a gift for my accountant because it is his office dog, and that dog is awesome. In related dog-sharing news, this is Bruno the Portuguese water dog meeting a tortoise for the first time. Much excitement. Very reptile.

As an aside: Feel free to name your dog whatever you want, but if you choose a name that ends in "oh" (like Bruno, or Bilbo, or Bo, or Potato) then make sure you choose a negative cue that is different than the word "no", or else the dog will get very, very confused. That dog owner sucks. Don't be that dog owner.

Operation Macballs continues apace. Gotta retrain the brain. Keeps your brain fresh, or so I'm told.

Operation Drop Some Ell Bees is well under way. The Fat Kid is in a pool with some of the other peeps to see who can whip themselves into shape in preparation for the 4th of July. I have been supporting the efforts of my fellow competitors, and by "supporting" I mean "dropping cookies off at the houses of". Same thing. I cannot make them eat delicious treats but I can at least make them available. Here to help, people.

If the title of the post doesn't make sense then enjoy this classic. You're welcome.

26 May 2016

Too Close for Missiles, Switching to Guns

Doggie Got a Bear
It's been a busy time over here. We did some things, and did some other things. First things first, this is the inaugural post from the new MacBook Pro. I now drive a Prius (pretty much) and go to yoga and use a mac. I'm a cliche. Car is fine, and yoga is hot girls in yoga pants fine, and the macbook is also fine.

I'm anti-apple bullshit but the macbook pro is wonderfully light, which appeals to me because I have to carry it around places. It looks cool because I put a sweet, sweet SKT T1 sticker on it already.

iOS is OMG totes amazing if you want to integrate your iMessages from your phone or manage music on garageband or dick around with those awesome photos you took of your dinner.  If you have to, you know, actually work then it might be tough adjusting to the fact that the entire MS Office product suite is still years behind the same software on Windows. I remind myself of how nice and light this computer is every time I run into another absent feature or function. Related: The single-button mouse is straight garbage. LOL 'two-finger click'. Why are you telling me to fingerblast my computer? Use a two-button mouse.

Overall the best I can say for the new device is that I don't notice it much, and that apple's management of both hardware and OS seems to make things work with less effort than I would expect on a windows box. Probably most important is that it cost me $0, which is nice. Now that I think about it, not only was it free but I actually get paid to use it. Not bad.


Pups with her bear is a sweet beast. You can tell she likes the bear a lot because she hasn't eaten it yet. Good girl!

15 May 2016

Derp, plus: SKT T1!

I was so excited to go to that pastry class I forgot I already had a class at another cooking school place where I'm going to learn how to make pasta or some shit. Derpy McDerpface. Why did I agree to do that? I don't even eat pasta. It will be fun and good but not as good as eating pastry. So many pastries. All the treats. *sigh* So it'll be pasta this weekend, but as soon as that's done, ohh we are going to make some fuckin' treats up in here. Get your mind right.

This past weekend was the finals of MSI, which (spoiler alert) was won by my favorite pro game team: SKT T1. The sticker you see at left will adorn my new macbook* as soon as it gets here. 'It' = my macbook, because you know I've been saving that sticker for weeks. I'll write a longer post on how great it is to watch Duke / Blank (or Bengi) / Faker / Bang / Wolf do their thing later on, but all you need to know for now is that Faker is also called The Demon King, and he is very skinny, which means that the tears of his enemies must be very filling but also extremely low in calories.

* Ugh yes I am getting a macbook, because the windows laptop I've been carting around for the past two years is a punishment. This new one should be much easier to carry. Apple is still bullshit, but I didn't pay for it, so whatever.

08 May 2016

Just Play the Hits: Faded by Alan Walker (bootleg by Asnozm)

This bootleg is a smash hit by any metric. It is the good shit. Thanks Soundcloud! 

07 May 2016


Long time readers know that making treats is one of my favorite things, possibly second only to stuffing treats in my face. So I make them, and then I share them with friends and family ('friends and family' is redundant in my case, but whatever), partly because sharing delicious treats with people you love is pretty much the best, and partly because if I ate them all then that would be Not Healthy. 

(Now would be a good time for you to review Kings of Pastry if you haven't already.)

So when a famous patissier opened a pastry school right down the street I was super pumped and signed up for a class immediately. My regular cooking school is superb but they mostly do meals and breads, with only occasional seasonal forays into what I consider the staple foods (i.e. dessert). Awesome for dates, but maybe not so awesome if you're flying solo. 

I like meals as much as the next person but I'm not much interested in taking a class and eating by myself. I want to focus on the good stuff. Speaking of the good stuff, get a load of this shit right here: macarons; eclairs; tart; tea cake; macarons again (different kind); verrine (no idea); frasier (no idea); Paris brest (I don't think that means what I think it means); st. honore. Classes every weekend! Let's do this. 

I'll let you know how it goes. 

02 May 2016

Whiteboard Camouflage


Do you know anyone that is white enough to disappear in front of a white board? I mean besides me.

Where does the white board stop and my arm begin? Impossible to say. It takes a special combination of Irish/German ginger genes, 'winter' weather, sunscreen, and League of Legends viewing on sunny days to get this white. Experts only, is what I'm saying.

Thanks Bennycakes for the photo.

01 May 2016

I Went There: San Ramon

Unrelated - Sigil of House Greyjoy, Which is Cool
(One in an occasional series.) 

I went to San Ramon to talk to some people about some things. I didn't know where San Ramon was before I was assigned the meeting. I can now report that it is (supposedly) 30 minutes from the Oakland airport, and (supposedly) 40 minutes from the San Jose airport. As with any driving time in the Bay Area it is highly traffic dependent. Both routes are hell during rush hour, is what I mean. If this report on San Ramon seems boring then you are getting the correct sense of what it's like to visit San Ramon.

After San Ramon I got to visit Rancho Cordova, which was similarly exciting but with a better lunch.

Next week I'm in Monroe, Louisiana for a couple days to talk to some people about some things. I have a strong suspicion that Monroe is to Louisiana as San Ramon is to California, but more humid. I will let you know when I get back.

21 April 2016

Prince Died Today

Prince was awesome and fun and weird and more than a little bit crazy. He died today at the age of 57.

He did many great musical things in his life, one of which was to boot Kim Kardashian (who?) off the stage during a concert. He didn't even get mad, he just treated her like the clueless trash that she is.  Legend.

19 April 2016

I Broke Up with My Audi

The Prius
I broke up with my RS4. It was a breakup, because I was emotionally invested in it, but: it wasn't working out. In economic terms it wasn't worth the investment. In more plain language it was fucking killing me, which it would have to be in order for me to sell it because I loved that car. I still love it, and driving it was fun (sometimes) but living with it day to day was a nightmare.

It never actually left me stranded - it was too well mannered for that. Instead it just cost a fortune to own and operate. Every few months some new thing would go wrong during 'routine' maintenance and I'd be out another two to three grand (or more!). At some point the juice just isn't worth the squeeze, so I sold it a (considerable) loss and moved on to a known, reliable, robust quantity.

Opted to lease a Prius. That's it in the picture. Don't be confused by the logo - it's a Prius - same engine, same hybrid system, blah blah blah. It's pretty nice! Lots of features! The best part is I don't have any maintenance costs and it's covered by a warranty (obvs.) so basically I just have to show up with a check for three years and it will work very well. If I'm going to have a car payment I might as well have a new car. Be sure and wave if you see me on the road.

13 April 2016

Enter the Dragón

(Posts are infrequent because there isn't much to report.)
I live in a moderately shady neighborhood. Not much in the way of street crime but there are a lot of motels that rent by the week, drug-addicted homeless, mentally ill homeless, and local trash that doesn't bother cleaning up after their dog. So I see a lot of weird shit, both literally and figuratively. A surprising amount, considering that the area is largely suburban, with a few streets zoned for shopping and food and a few others zoned for industry stuff like auto shops and furniture shops and offices.

Dining at the mexican eatery just around the corner is always interesting. The fajitas are adequate, and it draws a mixed group of white collar office types, some blue collar types, students, and whatever homeless guy felt like a burrito that day. Winos having an argument on the lawn while a table of students enjoy taco Tuesday is, well, typical Tuesday. What was not typical was the kid walking down the street with nunchucks in his back pocket (or 'nunchaku', if you're that person). Skinny jeans, hoodie, and nunchucks, all casual like. You know, just in case you need to get down with some kung fu on your way to the burrito spot? No idea. It was pretty great.

I have never owned nunchucks but coveted them as a young person, even though you were more likely to hit yourself than someone else. And - it bears mentioning - they aren't very concealable. And I'm also not sure they are strictly legal. They are less illegal than brass knuckles, but maybe more illegal than a pocketknife, so I guess homie was on his way to/from martial arts school and kept his clothes/pads/gear onsite but didn't have room to store his 'deadly' weapon. We'll never know.

The fajitas were pretty good, btw.

03 April 2016

Don't Give Up The Butter

Wrote some words, deleted them. Wrote more and different words, deleted them again. They were dumb and you are not. Thanks for stopping by.

Good and Chill Jamz: Wild at Heart by Alfred Hall (Pegato Remix), plus: I Went There: Foster City / San Diego

Greetings reader! Not much to report this week, as per usual. We have a good and chill jam courtesy the internet. Perfect for your weekend morning or your weekday commute. Or any time you feel like a good and chill jam. You do you. Free download!

The week took me to a decent hotel in Foster City, which I had never paid any attention to but is now a hotbed of commercial activity because it is much cheaper than, and adjacent to, San Francisco. Meeting was good but the highlight was catching up with Ze Newbs at lunch, who works in the area. Fun for me.

Later in the week I had to go to a very expensive work dinner down in San Diego, so I made my way there and stayed in an impressively janky hotel, in theory to save my employer some money. The dinner (including tax and tip) was over $400 a plate. Good thing I made an effort to save some cash on that hotel stay! I would have much preferred if they took me somewhere for $100 a plate and then handed me $300 in cash. That would have been much excellent. Dinner bill was inflated in part by the drinks and wine but it was mostly food. (I skipped the drinks - I almost never drink at work dinners. This confuses people sometimes but I don't drink at work during the day so why would I drink at work during the evening?) Nothing like corporate-sanctioned gluttony to make you want to stab yourself in the eye with a fork.

27 March 2016

Good Commenting / Parenting / Living

Honesty is always the best policy. (Except when it isn't.) Big shouts to this comment on my post about that wonderfully catchy version of I Took a Pill in Ibiza.

The comment: nice jam. but f me what I would not give for a pill in ibiza. more than I should admit
Pure truth to power right there. Who among us would not do the same? Only a very few.

26 March 2016

Remix of a Remix: I Took a Pill in Ibiza by Kiso ft. Kayla Diamond

This is a pretty good jam. Yeah it's a remix of a remix but it's got some bounce and the vocal is good. Plus a free download. Can't ask for more than that. 

25 March 2016

Mocked and Forgotten: The White Working Class

Politics in America are more divisive than ever, in part because people that have been voting against their interests (the white working class) are finally, after generations of getting shit on by business-friendly GOP politics, noticing that maybe they should consider other candidates. Of course supporting a candidate that you loathe for whatever reason (he's black, she's a woman, he's a 'socialist') is unattractive for many reasons, not least is that admitting you are wrong about something is not typical human behavior. 

Which brings us to this from Guardian: http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/mar/24/white-working-class-issues-free-trade-american-south

There's a lot to unpack here, but he opening pull quote "Nothing happened to them..." is astounding in its short-sightedness. Voting Republican happened to them, and continues to happen to them. Reagan happened to them, and a Bush happened to them (three times), and however many congressmen and senators and state government and local government happened to them. Scott Walker continues to happen to them, right now. I would be angry too. Being broke is hell in America.

Hat tip to Jeffy for article, and for being the original recipient of the third paragraph. 

22 March 2016

RIMAC Comes Through

This was on the internet. For once I don't have anything snarky to say. It's just a nice story of a company that did some innovative things with battery development helping out a guy in a significant way.