Yoga - You can't put a price on awkwardness (unless you can)

Went to my first class at the La Jolla Yoga Center. I expected it to be about as booji a yoga studio as you could find, and I was not disappointed in that regard. I've never taken yoga at a yoga-specific spot, preferring instead to mix my yoga and gym memberships. My gym is sufficiently upscale that the basics of the LJYC were familiar: lots of super hot girls, blocks, blankets, lulu lemon everything. I remembered to bring my own small towel and figured I'd buy a bigger one when I got there. That was a Mistake.

A few things you need to know:

• I'm a sweaty mess at yoga, even in a mixed vinyasa class. 
• I don't like to wear a shirt, because they fall all over and are a distraction. I could splash out on pricey yoga-specific shirts but meh, I'm over it. More comfy to just take your shirt off. So I'm that guy. Or, in most classes, one of several of those guys. Never take my shirt off in a new class unless some other guy does it first.

So class is well under way and I don't have the usual complement of towels, my rented mat is a sloppy, sweaty sponge, and I'm struggling a bit. Trying to keep it inwardly focused but also trying not to sweat on the girl adjacent (she was late and set up next to me so that's her bad) and fall down because it's so slippery. I roll onto my back during a stretch and the combination of latissimus dorsi muscle and sweaty mat conspire to make an AUDIBLY LIFELIKE FART SOUND.

GTFOWTFLOLWHYISTHISHAPPENINGTOME????

What to do? Normally you'd say, proceed as usual, no big deal, act like nothing happened. That may work if you had, in fact, farted in yoga class. Except I hadn't. So if I proceeded as usual it would very likely happen again, perhaps repeatedly. With another 15 minutes to go in class this was not acceptable. But if you stop what you're doing you implicitly acknowledge, hey, that was me, can't keep doing that, or else I'll (not) fart again. Talk about a rock and a hard place.

End result was I had to lay on my tiny hand towel for the remainder of the class. It didn't help much with traction but it did prevent me from fake-flatulating further. I spent my entire savasana trying to decide if it would have been better or worse if I had just plain farted instead of had the equipment failure / sound effects. I'm still not sure.

Going back tonight for a level 2/3 class. Bringing a surplus of towels. And maybe picking up one of those pricey yoga shirts. Because I was way more than $80 worth of awkward yesterday.