25 March 2009

Dating Red Flags - recycled

I have done some posts on dating red flags, and because clicking through is cool only when you're trying to make some money, here's the full compiled list. I list it here not necessarily because I have any new ones (I don't), but because I wanted to share some stories about online dating, which I decided to try because I was bored. On reflection, if I had consulted my own blog for dating tips I might have done a bit better. But what fun would that be?

Dating Red Flags( i.e. avoid the following):
  • Girl is on more than one type of medication - that includes self-medication, like booze, caffeine, and nicotine. For example, if a girl takes paxil, that's okay. If a girl drinks, takes paxil, and also smokes, that's a red flag.
  • an inability to compromise - there's a joke here about dating miss right vs. dating miss always right, but its been done.
  • spending too much time on your myspace/facebook page - this might be very similar to "spending too much time on a blog", but I don't think so. if your myspace page has a sweet custom layout and lots of scrolling pictures and you update it every day and post bulletins for all your friends to read then you should get out more. You're probably a really cool person (look how cool your myspace page is!).
  • an open sore on her face - I went on a first date with a girl and she had a "cold sore". she should have had the good sense to reschedule, put her best foot forward, etc. she had some issues she was working through, no doubt about that. I found out later that she was a lesbian. (really)
  • a girl that takes more than an hour to get ready - if you can't take a shower, get your hair sorted, get dressed, and get your makeup on in sixty minutes or less then we can't hang out. The problem with a girl that takes a really long time to get ready is that she probably...
  • looks super weathered in the AM - if you look really rugged first thing in the morning then that's a Red Flag for sure. if a girl looks cute w/ her makeup all smeared and her hair all over the place, then she's a keeper. side note: close friend was telling me about his crazy roommate, and saying she meets guys on myspace and she's constantly meeting new guys and they only last for 2 weeks, and then they bounce. I said yeah for sure, she's cuter in pictures than in person. He says, no, it's not that; they bounce after they stay the night and see her the morning after. ohhh, snap!
  • girl that doesn't work out - trust me honey, it'll catch up with you someday. and by then it'll be too late, b/c it's much, much harder to lose weight than it is to stay in shape.
  • girl that doesn't eat - please, eat something.
  • girl that has a miniature dog she treats like a child - you, as the new guy, will be competing for the dog's attention. forever. you're better off dating a girl that has a kid. note: if the girl has a full-sized dog then it's okay. you can take the dog for walks, hang out, etc. it's the toy dogs, and their owners, you need to avoid.
  • girl that thinks cosmo is gospel, and/or that thinks she is "just like" a character on Sex and the City - Cosmo is full of lies from the pit of hell, and it's just crazy to think that you are someone on TV. I think I stopped dreaming about being someone on TV when Knight Rider went off the air in 1986. I was 12.

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