celebrating the sports landscape; the royal "we"; also, swinging the hammer of ambition at the nail of sloth

this is a great time of year if you're a football fan.
The USC Trojans were, well, used like a Trojan by the Texas Longhorns, and the best player on the best team is going to take his chances in the NFL draft.
This past weekend, and the upcoming weekend, bring us a full football calendar, w/ 2 games each on saturday and sunday. Plus it's playoff football, which means that the games really do mean something. right now there's a nice ratio of hype to game. the hype machine ratchets up the later we get into january, which is odd, because there's less football to actually watch. I am a fan of football, but not a die-hard fan. My favorite team (the niners) are unwatchable. But I do enjoy the game, and I appreciate that there are a lot of losers out there that use the word "we" in reference to a particular team. This makes me laugh.

here's the deal: if you were never on the payroll for a particular franchise, then you cannot accurately use the word "we" in reference to the team's performance. I understand you feel a strong connection to the squad, and that you bought the jersey, and (as Seinfeld pointed out) you're in love with laundry. That is no excuse. This "we" stuff has got to stop. Here's a list of defintions of the word from dictionary.com:

1. Used by the speaker or writer to indicate the speaker or writer along with another or others as the subject: We made it to the lecture hall on time. We are planning a trip to Arizona this winter.
2. Used to refer to people in general, including the speaker or writer: “How can we enter the professions and yet remain civilized human beings?” (Virginia Woolf).
3. Used instead of I, especially by a writer wishing to reduce or avoid a subjective tone.
4. Used instead of I, especially by an editorialist, in expressing the opinion or point of view of a publication's management.
5. Used instead of I by a sovereign in formal address to refer to himself or herself.

at no point in there does it say, "used by a member of the unaffiliated general public in reference to a particular sports team or club to imply an affinity or (nonexistent) relationship." glad we [definition 4] cleared that up. a ha.

as far as the hammer and nail thing goes, I'm doing my best over here. really. we'll get back to firing dick vitale later this week. it's only monday. I'll post again on friday at the latest.