consider the monkey

i have to go to sexual harassment training later today. i'm constantly in danger of stepping over that delicate line at the office. like when I crop dusted marketing repeatedly and with prejudice. or the time I spilled water all over my pants so I took them off and let them dry on the back of my computer monitor. (it's hot back there!) granted I was in an office by myself, but do you think people on the phone knew that I conferenced into meetings in my boxer shorts?

i'm phoning in for today's special event, and I would live blog the training but i have to get my real work done.

a co-worker suggested that since I work remotely I should ask the following question:

"is it harassment if I fart on my chair? it's just me in here, so i'm not offended, but I feel bad for the chair. kind of.

further, is it harassment if you bomb out your own cube and then someone comes in unexpectedly?"

as my boss pointed out several years ago, the only people that pay attention to harassment training are the people that don't need it. the lecherous creeps, they're still going to do what they do, baby.

consider the monkey.
now consider two monkeys.
now consider two monkeys fucking a football. that's harassment training.