15 August 2013

Yoga Story Time!

I decided to branch out with my yoga classes, try something different at the local Costa Mesa Yogaworks. Mainly because I've been sick and can't get through one of my usual classes. So last week I tried Gentle Yoga. Liked the instructor well enough that I caught up with her again yesterday for Restorative Yoga. These classes are a huge departure from my usual Level 2/3 vinyasa efforts and I've enjoyed them very much.

The Gentle and Restorative classes draw many different types of student, but for the most part they are either older or out of shape or both. Exceptions are people like me that use it as a post-workout recovery aid, or people trying yoga that don't know what to expect.

Last night I got there a bit early, put down my mat. A woman put her mat down next to mine and we visited briefly. It turns out that she brought her friend and was hoping to practice adjacent to her. She didn't want to ask anyone to move because people were already quiet and settled. I don't care about that* so I moved and there was plenty of room for her companion. Well, the friend was intimidated and didn't want to make a fuss and move over two spots (silly but whatever) so we had some space for whomever showed up next.

That turned out to be a gentleman that was a piece of work. It wasn't that he kept flailing all over his mat, couldn't keep his props organized, accidentally bumped into me and the other woman. No, it wasn't all that, because that happens. It was the flatulence. The ongoing, consistent, regular flatulence. Every few minutes. All class long. Big farts, small farts, loud, quiet, you name it and this guy had you covered. At one point we were laying on our sides and he farted in the general direction of the woman for whom I had cleared out space. I snickered. She had it coming and I was glad it wasn't aimed at me. That lasted about 3 minutes because as soon as we turned over he farted in my general direction. This fucking guy.

Possible high (low?) point was when the instructor told us to relax and settle into the pose and the guy audibly farted, right on cue. It was amazing.

Should I congratulate the dude for getting into the spirit of the practice? Did he feel relaxed and restored? He definitely didn't seem to be holding anything back. Am I immature for mentioning it? I dunno. He probably wasn't doing it on purpose, and we all come to yoga from different places. Some understanding is in order. (That's some yoga real talk right there.) On the other hand: farting throughout a 90 minute class. So. 

* It's great to take some quiet time before class but if you think that means you're exempt from making room then you better be wedged into a corner.


Anonymous said...


Sweet Katie said...

That's hilarious, to read about, of course, not to be in the class with that guy!