17 April 2009

Online Dating: At least it gets me out of the house

I just wrapped up a 6 month tour on eHarmony. I managed to fill out the question form successfully (unlike the classy fellow in the photo at left) and it didn't take as long as some people led me to believe.

You can learn a lot in 6 months.*

For example, meeting people online is just like meeting them in bars. Except they get to ask you bullshit questions up front instead of waiting until after you've hung out for a couple weeks and shagged gotten a chance to know one another. Questions like, "What is one thing you truly hope to share with your partner?" My first response was, umm, nothing. It had never occurred to me. But I had a lot of practice answering the question because more than half of the girls I 'met' selected it. After the first 15 times if I was on the fence about a girl I would scrap her just because I was so tired of answering that question.**

I also learned that they're either handing out Eat, Pray, Love free with eH memberships or vice versa (I can imagine a special coupon at the back of the book, encouraging girls to seek a partner now that they've been on a "journey"). This book was so cliche that I closed any girl that listed it as her most recent reading. You think it's cool to go to Italy and get fat before you fall in love? Good for you. You probably think it's romantic to build entire series around abstinence and bloodsucking-as-sex metaphors. That's why you spend your nights watching Gossip Girl home alone with your cats and/or parents.

29 levels of compatibility doesn't really mean anything if you're not attracted to the person when you meet them face to face. I met some nice girls but none that I was interested in seeing again. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or if maybe I'm not interested in being in a relationship. Maybe a little bit of both.

*Or you can learn nothing, which probably describes me more accurately, but whatever.
** Unless she was super cute. Which was never.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

careful case, careful. you are getting very close to putting me in a box with the cat lady. gossip girl is a high quality tv show full of deep characters or more importantly, hot characters. i do on the other hand fear the eat pray love book.