Let's talk graphic design

Today we're all about signage. So much good stuff to learn. Did you know the ampersand has been around for over 2,000 years? That makes it older than many of the letters we use in English. The number 7 must be an awesome roommate, sharing space for all that time.

I wish I could get my hands on the Unimark Guide, aka the New York City Transit Authority Graphics Standards Manual. Somebody put a bunch of images on flickr, but it's just enough to whet your appetite. Can't believe this thing came out in 1970. Can you imagine how shit it would be if they did it from scratch today? It would probably be sponsored by Coca-Cola and Budweiser, designed by the same all-things-to-all-people geniuses that made the London 2012 logo.

The manual is interesting in that it not only defines the style and format of all the signage, but also correct placement, types of signs, directories, etc. When you consider the number and types of people that use this information successfully every day this standards manual is an extraordinary achievement. If you're into that. Which you probably aren't.

This is good too, in a different way.

Well allow me to retort

My post on what I'm not doing this Saturday (scroll down) has elicited some comments from the proletariat. Specifically:

you might consider that some of these +1s could actually be an uber-cool (wait, scratch that, I forgot who I am talking to) uber-hot, single, girlfriend

Yes I might consider that if I hadn't been down this road before. This is not the first time I've evaluated this type of evite. One has to take into account the overall demographic, the general tone, and past history. I didn't look at it and guess that it was going to be all couples, I used my past experience and applied knowledge. If I didn't already have some experience with this group I might have cause for optimism. Except I know better.

What I'm not doing this Saturday

My good friend Sonia is coming to town from NYC. She invited me to her friend's birthday party up in Hollywood. Originally I said yeah sure I'm there no problem you bet. When I asked for details she forwarded me the evite and it was like someone kicked the needle off the record. I even took a screenshot of the guest list in it's entirety (as of early on Wednesday) so you could get a feel for what I'm talking about. I added the callouts; not sure if they are available on evite yet. (But they should be.)

I asked her if it was a date party and she said no. Somehow that makes the fact that everyone is taking a date EVEN WORSE. In the words of my brother Preston: "Fuck. That."

So, you got any plans for Saturday? I just freed up my calendar.

"My room smells like vodka and shame"

This from a friend from college:

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Some of it really is funny.
I submitted one my saved favorites from my phone, sent to me by The OC's Most Eligible Bachelor:
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Go to bed and call me back when u decide to be a normal person.
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I have a few others that I would share here but he would kill me. Ask me in person. :)

Atlas Shrugged, probably because he was bored to tears

I've read a lot of books because I don't get out of the house much. Some are good, some bad, most somewhere in the middle. I had heard that Atlas Shrugged was really good. I've read 1/12th of it, and I think it's incredibly boring, simplistic, poorly characterized and naive. Maybe it gets better later on - I'll never know. I'll have to read the Cliff Notes. Maybe.

The source of my boredom (and disdain) is that you either relate to Rand's message about the world or you don't; I can't see much in the way of middle ground. I happen to think it's so shortsighted that it makes me angry to even have to explain it's inadequacies, but here's a short summary of her position: do whatever is in your best interest without regard for others, others should be doing the same and if they aren't, tough shit for them.

I'm not going to waste any more energy explaining the book or my position. You can find lots of content out there from people that actually had the patience to get through the story, but here's an interesting article and my favorite quote:

Her novels continue to inspire visceral feelings of worship and disgust among readers. Reviewing the newly published memoir of her acolyte Greenspan, the conservative writer Andrew Ferguson complains in The Weekly Standard that "her creepy philosophy of Objectivism, placing the self at the centre of the moral universe, still is embraced by tens of thousands of pimply teenage boys in the dreamy moments between fits of social insecurity and furious bouts of masturbation."

BMX videos galore

Why not more BMX sweetness?


I like the other one better but there's room on this space for flatland riders too.

Also this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywu1DeqXTg4

I esp. liked this comment from intrepid viewer "Pewpewsplat":

Iron man [fictional character, exists only in the imagination] would fuck Bruce Lee [real person, legitimate badass] up... bad.. other then that it's an amazing video.

And that's everything you need to know about the internet right there: Someone from the land of make-believe is said to be able to "fuck up" someone from the real world.

Earth day is coming; look busy

This has been kicking around in my inbox for several months - hat tip to Zach for the photo. I'm sharing it now because earth day is almost here. Maybe it is here. I don't know when the hell it is. What?

Aside: why are we giving the planet a big 'F you' the other 364 days of the year? I'm not sure one day is really going to do the job. Maybe this is more "awareness" day, and we practice more green-eco-friendly stuff the the year? I'm eco-friendly in that I like hot girls that are into recycling and yoga.

Where were we? Oh yeah, Harvard's recycling program. The photo here is one of Harvard's recycling trucks backed up and dumping it's load (yeah I said it) into a garbage truck. Soooo recycling = garbage. Got it. Just recycle that shit straight into a landfill. Sure. No problem. Very green of you.

PS. I hear Boston is like the Goat Hill Tavern of the eastern seaboard: Mediocre chicks EEEEEEEEEEVRYWHERE. Or so I'm told. I'll let you know when I get out there this summer.

My head exploded. Again.

Did I just see that?
Did he just DO that?

My head just exploded

Dammit!

Loving me some puppets

Got this from here. Reposting it because it is effing awesome. I don't know why I love it so much but if you just look at the puppets I think you will love it too. Or not. Not's good.

Online Dating: At least it gets me out of the house

I just wrapped up a 6 month tour on eHarmony. I managed to fill out the question form successfully (unlike the classy fellow in the photo at left) and it didn't take as long as some people led me to believe.

You can learn a lot in 6 months.*

For example, meeting people online is just like meeting them in bars. Except they get to ask you bullshit questions up front instead of waiting until after you've hung out for a couple weeks and shagged gotten a chance to know one another. Questions like, "What is one thing you truly hope to share with your partner?" My first response was, umm, nothing. It had never occurred to me. But I had a lot of practice answering the question because more than half of the girls I 'met' selected it. After the first 15 times if I was on the fence about a girl I would scrap her just because I was so tired of answering that question.**

I also learned that they're either handing out Eat, Pray, Love free with eH memberships or vice versa (I can imagine a special coupon at the back of the book, encouraging girls to seek a partner now that they've been on a "journey"). This book was so cliche that I closed any girl that listed it as her most recent reading. You think it's cool to go to Italy and get fat before you fall in love? Good for you. You probably think it's romantic to build entire series around abstinence and bloodsucking-as-sex metaphors. That's why you spend your nights watching Gossip Girl home alone with your cats and/or parents.

29 levels of compatibility doesn't really mean anything if you're not attracted to the person when you meet them face to face. I met some nice girls but none that I was interested in seeing again. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or if maybe I'm not interested in being in a relationship. Maybe a little bit of both.


*Or you can learn nothing, which probably describes me more accurately, but whatever.
** Unless she was super cute. Which was never.

next up: making Thor out of an erector set

This is a little late if you're catholic, but if you're eastern orthodox, it's just in time for easter.

They made Jesus out of Legos.

Okay more later. Busy right now.

The Wayback Machine

Took a trip down memory lane over the weekend. No, not the part where I got old-school drunk and passed out on someone's couch in Newport. The part where I found some pictures from my trip to London and Paris.

Nothing says fun like some pix of pretty girls in foreign lands, so here's a photo from a cafe in Montmartre in Paris. Nothing much to see here - just some peeps out for a (long) night on the town. I have some good photos of when I tripped over one of those g-damn anklebiters they put on street corners to keep the cars from driving on the sidewalk but I'll save that for later.

Photo #2 is The Fat Kid having an introspective moment during the morning commute after another very long night out (this time in London). Not shown: the other punters on the tube, going to work. Also not shown: dignity.

How long would you survive?

I could survive for 1 minute, 32 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor
This was my favorite question, by a lot:

If the velociraptor lunged at you, what would you be most likely to do?

• Curl up into a little ball and whimper
• Punch him in the mouth
• Punch him in his raptor balls
• Scream and run to the end of my chain

Be sure to click through to http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/ for a good drawing of what it would look like if I were chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor.

Cheese is good for you, plus Layer Tennis

Here's some euro-awesomeness from the intarnets. And Finland. It's got a mullet and a mustache and lip-syncing. It's like Eastbound and Down come to life.

If that doesn't float your boat, here's a website I really liked. I would post one of her images here but she's really busy today and also she says, "All work on this site is copyright Jennifer Daniel. I realize the internet is infinite, but please do not reproduce in pixel or print without asking first. Say hello and let me know. Thanks."

Also, this is funny to me: http://httpcolonforwardslashforwardslashwwwdotjenniferdanieldotcom.com/

I guess you gotta make ends meet somehow...

I went ahead and did something nice for the person I like the most, picked up myself a new All-Clad saucepan. It's expensive but with any luck it will last more or less forever, so it's a good investment. It will last at least as long as any relationship I've ever had, although that's not saying much.

Found the note (pictured) in the bottom of the saucepan. I guess they're expensive because they've got professional athlete's working the inspection line. Tom is working two jobs now that he's married, plus he's got a kid from a previous relationship. It gets expensive.

The attached photo unretouched. Seriously.

World Record Wanking Motion

Told you.

Baseball starts today (I think)

I don't much care for baseball. Can't sit through it (too much inactivity), and can't deal with how horrendous the broadcasts and announcers tend to be (with the exception of Vin Scully - even though I have less use for the Dodgers than almost any other franchise except the Yankees and Angels). When Vin finally retires I don't know if I'll ever watch another baseball game again. Fox works really hard to make the game "exciting", to perpetuate the illusion that something is happening. It's a shame, because the pace of the game is what makes it unique.

What I do enjoy is reading about baseball, and sabermetric analysis. Really this is true. No idea why nerds love baseball so hard but it brings out the geek in people. I mean people besides me.

So this article was a nice kickoff to the-part-of-the-year-I-ignore-the-sports-calendar that we will henceforth refer to as "baseball season". It led to this. And then to this interesting summary of historical home runs. And that hitting a baseball is really, really hard.

Not mentioned in any of the analysis: Bud Selig is a milquetoast d-bag. I think it was implied a few places but not stated explicitly.

In related baseball news, I think we need more guys throwing the eephus. Seriously. I heart the eephus. RJ is throwing for the Giants now and he's got it in his arsenal. Wakefield throws the eephus and the knuckler, and it works for him.

Photo courtesy flickr and the wonderfully-named Waldo Jaquith.

Keeping it Real

I'm kicking around the idea of changing the motto here at GJAW. But I don't have anything better for now and I need something that speaks to me in a meaningful way. And I'm lazy. Mostly lazy.

What's new here? Not much. Some kid put a dick on the roof of his parents mansion and then it made international news. It makes news here because it rules. I was further pleased when I read that his dad was leaving it until the kid gets back from his gap year in Brazil. Brilliant.

Not much else to report. I have a backlog of good photos to share so I'll be working through those. I've been busy and not felt like doing any internetting when I get done at work so the posts are piling up. Metaphorically speaking.

My friends Jason & Heleana gave me an itunes gift certificate for my birthday last month. I mention it here because that gift started what can only be described as a binge of music buying. I'm no big fan of apple but itunes does enable me to buy music that I would never buy otherwise. Taylor Swift? check. Kelly Clarkson? check. Kanye West? check. check. I'd be embarrassed by it but whatever. Pop music is a quesadilla: cheesy as hell but hard to resist.

Are they playing any college basketball games this weekend? I can't remember...