in my last two posts I covered racism and religion, so let's get back to what made me famous: biscuits

i've been off work all week and it's been great (except for the part where I had to strip the paint out of my master bathroom - that broke my spirit). in addition to going to the gym and hanging out by the pool, I have been making myself some delicious biscuits for breakfast. i only make two at a time, but I swear if I made 6 of them I'd eat all 6. they are that good. you don't even need to put butter on them. get to grocery, get involved.

in other news, the world cup games are on today and saturday. big game: france vs. brasil at 11ish on Saturday. you can get up early and watch the England vs. Portugal game, too. if you're into that. only one dog of a game: italy v. ukraine. that's a bust. oh well. 3 out of 4 aint bad.

i forgot to mention in my "critique" of that article on yahoo news about people giving W. Buffett a hard time for his philanthropic donation: I am a christian. but i'm not the sort of christian that thinks those people from the FRC and the catholic church should make policy for organizations like the WHO and the Gates foundation. AIDS is a huge problem in developing nations, but anti-abortion groups don't want to talk about real-world solutions (condoms) for these places. see my post on the frontline AIDS piece for more info.

love you.

dear pro-lifers: please keep doing this - no one listens to you and it makes you look stupid

this is superb.

it's got everything I appreciate about conservative christianity and professional christians like those clowns at the "family research council": short-sightedness, bombast, and ignorance galore.
Warren Buffett gives away billions of dollars and all this hot air from the religious right is a special bonus, like a treat in a box of cereal.

go here:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060629/ap_on_re_us/billionaires_abortion

i'd love to break this apart, piece by piece, but I don't have the energy.
special highlight: where the catholic priest compares Buffett to Josef Mengele.
perfect. that's everything you need to know about why I heart the catholic church.

it's been too long, but I still love you

in case you were wondering what a cracker looked like, I give you Luis Aragones, the soon to be ex-coach of the spanish national football team. a couple years ago, in training for euro 2004, he called France's best player a "black piece of shit", telling one of his own players "are you going to let yourself get beaten by that black piece of shit?" yeah. that happened. and it was recorded for television. the spanish football federation's response? fine him about $3000, and tell him to stop it.

so when France beat Spain to advance to the round of 8 in this year's world cup, I celebrated. I ran in circles. I screamed and threw jabs at the television and flipped Aragones the double bird. repeatedly.

i might be taking this modern escapism thing a bit too far, but every four years, I think i'm okay. this is the world cup we're talking about.

want to go kick the ball around?

The problem is fundamentally one of ontology: In order for James Brown to occur, you need to be James Brown.

great, as in, "go buy the magazine or you can have my copy or I'll buy you a copy" great, article in rolling stone this week. i don't think it's on newsstands yet, but you can read it for free on their website.

I suggest printing it out and taking it away from the computer. the author is Jonathan Lethem, and he writes for the page and not for the computer screen. give yourself a chance to sit down with it. or check out motherless brooklyn, one of my favorite books.

the article is very long, but it is worth it if you care about dance music, funk, rock & roll, pop music in general, live music, rap (yes, rap), brilliant storytelling, and rich reporting.

it's that good. an example:

For to see James Brown dance and sing, to see him lead his mighty band with the merest glances and tiny flickers of signal from his hands; to see him offer himself to his audience to be adored and enraptured and ravished; to watch him tremble and suffer as he tears his screams and moans of lust, glory and regret from his sweat-drenched body -- and is, thereupon, in an act of seeming mercy, draped in the cape of his infirmity; to then see him recover and thrive -- shrugging free of the cape -- as he basks in the healing regard of an audience now melded into a single passionate body by the stroking and thrumming of his ceaseless cavalcade of impossibly danceable smash Number One hits, is not to see: It is to behold.

i have seen all these things on TV; indeed, I remember my friend G-$ [pronounced: gee-money] telling me, the first time I saw it on Soul Train, "watch this with the cape, he comes out, then he goes back, he's not done! he's back for more!" ahh, i laughed so hard but it was powerful!

you don't believe me? put on Sex Machine next time you're at a dance party. put on any of Brown's #1 smash hits.
watch. what. happens.

as the french would say, "for-mid-AHHH-bluh!"

love you.

France, please advance; and: I need a new roommate

greetings from bloggerland. no idea who took this photo of the US in happier moments.

aside from having a tie that I loosened, there's a lot going on. I've been reading books and magazines, and I've been watching a lot of world cup football. the US was bounced out after 2 lackluster performances and one terrible one. here's the deal: if you don't score goals, you don't deserve to advance. and that's the only thing separating the US team from the elite teams. they don't put the ball in the back of the net (consider the czechs, who do put the ball in the net: they didn't advance, either). no quality in the final third, if you will. it's a shame they didn't advance, because they looked like they were finally getting ready to make a breakthrough. or maybe that's just wishful thinking. if the future of US football is Landon "I couldn't cut it overseas" Donovan, then we're in for a miserable spell. On the upside, there's Freddy Adu and, sooner, Eddie Johnson and Clint Dempsey.

memo to the editors at SI and outside magazine: just because Donovan is the most recognizable US player doesn't make him the best. two different things. For a long time the "face" of US soccer was ALEXEI LALAS. or Cobi Jones. yeah. that guy. 'nuff said.

Donovan went to Germany w/ something to prove and he proved that he can't cut it. nice free kick at the end of the Ghana game. way to bend it like beckham, bro. It's annoying when you watch a soccer match and say to yourself, I can do that. there's lots of stuff I can't do, but if you want a free kick floated over the box and out of play, then I'm your man. and I've got the ball to prove it.

in other news, I need a new roommate. Robby is moving out. room avail. 1 aug.
love you.

but wait, there's more...

just when I thought I was done venting about idiocy, I chanced upon this little gem over on ccn.com. [photo taken by Flip Nicklin, copyright Minden Pictures - I don't usually credit photos b/c many of them are mine, and who cares if they aren't, but that's a helluva picture, so credit where credit is due.]

small nations change their position on whaling ban? if you read the article, it points out that the new resolution claims that the original ban was a temporary measure, and that it should be reviewed. sure, whatever. there seems to be some strong disagreement, Japan is accused of buying votes, and the Irish delegate just "held his head in his hands."

apparently, the japanese and other wealthy whaling nations (norway, among others), have convinced St. Kitts representative (and others) that it's the WHALES that are eating all the fish, and they only way to get them to come back is to kill the whales. it's not the dragnet fishing, then? good to know. here's a quote:

The backers have been pushing to lift the ban, saying it was a way to protect fish stocks from whales and give their small islands food security.

"We're dealing with an ecosystem where whales are on top of the food chain," said Daven Joseph, an IWC delegate from St. Kitts and Nevis.

it reminds me of when I was in a taxi cab on St. Croix, driving to an office when I was working out there for a short period. I didn't know they had a huge oil refinery there, and when I mentioned that to the taxi driver, he said, "mon, you know why dey got da refinery 'ere? because gaas is so cheap 'ere, mon!"

can somebody explain to the small islands that the best way to ensure food security is to NOT CATCH AND EAT EVERY LAST FISH. did you get that? the whales will take care of themselves, top of the food chain or otherwise. I think I learned that in 9th grade science class. I think.

as if this were about the food chain. anti-whaling nations know it's about money: the pro-whaling nations are spending a lot of it, and the antis are not. come up with some cash and St. Kitts delegates might be able to understand that food chain / web-of-life thing. maybe.

I guess I'm a species-ist

I just saw the following dialog exchange on 60 minutes:

weird crazy guy: people that keep animals for the purpose of eating their flesh should be punished.

Morley Safer: people like the taste of chicken.

weird crazy guy, also an MD: people used to like owning slaves, too.

what? are? you talking about? the whole show was all about the ALF and the ELF, and how they are resorting to more violent measures to prevent animal research and environmental damage, respectively.
why bring this stuff up? because it's a good example of what happens when you take a reasonable point (animal cruelty is bad, and should be stopped, or at least reduced), and then you take it to a ridiculous extreme (cruelty to chickens?). seriously, this guy was saying that people should be killed to prevent this sort of thing. I'm not making this up.

ahh, I don't know. I just thought it was silly.
just when i thought people couldn't get any more ridiculous, I did a search on the ELF to get the web address. that's where I got that sweet graphic. an entire website devoted to scholarly study of the invented languages of J.R.R. Tolkien . elvish.org? you guys, plus the dudes devoted to learning klingon, should get together with these ALF people and start hunting down the people that are finning sharks and get something done. stop worrying about the chickens.

let me know when you make some progress.

if it's not one thing, it's some other thing. that's just like the one thing that wasn't. but different

[ignoring the ill-advised bit of nonsense that I posted late last night and had the common decency to delete this morning. if you didn't see it, not to worry. you didn't miss anything. i deleted it first thing in the AM.

we're all glad we put that behind us. and by "put it behind us" I mean "can internalize it."]

there's this:
was on the phone w/ my buddy this week. the acoustics sounded like he was either calling from a jail cell, bathroom stall, or an office. I asked him, are you in the can right now?

he said, "oh, i'm in my office, baby. I'm a big deal."

me: yeah, i've got an office, too. so what?

him: i've got a door, it closes.

me: sure thing, me too.

him: i've got a window.

me: so do I

him: [silence]

me: I'm wearing shorts.

him: [brief pause] i've got a tie... which I loosened.

ahh, you kind of had to be there, but it was funny.
in other news, and i'm going to some sort of big concert thing in september. so that's something. gets me out of the house, anyway. i promise to take lots of really good pictures. if you know somebody in austin, tell them uncle case is coming to town, and i'm bringing my sense of adventure (in checked luggage, they won't let me carry it on ever since I had that... unpleasantness).

glorious interweb, oh sweet ambrosia of interweb

i'm not a creative person. I can't draw, don't write music, and am generally crap at making stuff up. (i'm very good at making existing stuff better, but that's not the point for today.)

anyway, i appreciate the energies of creative people, even if I lack a similar gift. so when 37signals decides to release some new software or shareware, I'll check it out. if they start a blog, I'll check that out, too.

and if they sign up with some advertising network or whatever, then I'll give it a look, save it to my bookmarks, and maybe review it now and again, because that sort of thing is of interest to me. today I came across an interesting website called the Design Observer. good pictures, intelligent writing. I encourage you to review it, and alert anyone that might be interested.

this sort of fisheye exploration is the most effective learning tool there is. it's also an advertiser's wet dream.

what does all that have to do with my picture of some soldiers in afghanistan? nothing. I'll bet most of them wish they were back home instead of in some godforsaken rock garden, trying not to get killed.

open letter to USA Soccer, and head coach Bruce Arena

To: Bruce Arena
From: A Concerned Fan
Date: the day after your team got schooled by the Czech Republic
Subject: Redemption
Cc: the guy that runs USA soccer

Brucie, there's been a lot of press about what a good coach you are, how you're supposedly one of the best in the world at motivating your players. Some people even think you're a tactical whiz, although not everyone agrees about that. I don't know if you're much of an exes-and-ohs guy. I do know that your ego barely fits into those giant stadiums where you team plys their trade.

here's the thing, buddy: it ain't bragging if you can back it up, and your team, w/ their inflated top five ranking (utter bullshit for anyone that knows anything about football) and related press coverage, is about as far away from backing it up as I am from signing for Arsenal. that is to say, REALLY FUCKING FAR.

(speaking of signing for Arsenal, that player that scored two brilliant goals yesterday? the one celebrating in the picture? yeah, him. he'll be playing there next year.)

All will be forgiven if you can get a result against the dagos on saturday. and I mean a real result. a strong tie or a win. none of this "we gave it our all and lost a close one" bullshit. I mean, get out there, get your players in the game. let's see some of that masterful motivation, genius. I'm a believer. and you're letting me down.

------------------------------------------
full disclosure: there is some precedent for very good teams getting bounced in the first round. France didn't score a goal 4 years ago. Argentina didn't win a single game. so it's not the end of the world if you don't get a result. and yes, I curled up with my world cup match ball last night when I drifted off to sleep. so what?

world cup rizzound-up, and other stuff

rule #1 of blogging is don't even bother trying to log into blogger on monday morning. the server always crashes, loses your post. if you don't know, now you know. so I'm coming to you from email.

here's a brief world cup roundup, pre-US game at 9 AM PDT:

• england had the most ineffective combination of millionaire players and crap play. close second: the dutch. although both teams ended w/ the same result, (1-0 victories), the english were lucky not to tie 1-1. the dutch game should have been 3-0 at least. dump tim couch immediately if not sooner.
  
• argentina looked effective but they're like a sorority girl w/ low self-esteem: they go down too easy. that's a great trait in a co-ed, but it's lame in a world cup match.
  
• Mexico looked legit. kind of.
  
• Germany kicked all kinds of Costa Rican Ass. if they play the same game against the hated English, they'll crush them. tighten up the back line a little and keep the goals coming and you'll go far.
  
• you can't get this kind of analysis just anywhere. you have to buy one of these . and bring it to work with you. like I did.
  
• bullet point.
  

thanks for reading. i'll have more after the US game, but if they stink up the joint I won't be able to type anything because I'll be too pissed.

blog issues, etc. and so forth

wrote a (really) funny entry about the world cup, dating, and some other stuff.
blogger lost it or rejected me or something. I don't know what happened. so just imagine this is a lot funnier. and relevant.

I did see the x-men movie. it was not very good. barely entertaining. I hope the ghost rider movie is better. how they can make a movie about the xmen that sucks so bad I don't know. get Gambit in there. how hard can it be? gambit, spewing cliche and arguing w/ wolverine would be fine. instead I get the worst dialog in recent movie history, and mediocre action. so inadequate.

that's today's theme: I don't know.
enjoy it while it lasts, because I sometimes always know everything.

my other theme: the motherf*ckin world cup starts Friday, 9 June, at 9 AM PDT. I think my head is going to explode. I don't know if the game is on tape delay or what. a potential pissoff, but whatever. I'm watching. please take a time out from your busy schedule and take a look at it, too. the US team is shite, but we got a tough draw (big surprise, after we got jobbed in the game in 2002 against Germany - at least we beat Mexico). there will be outstanding soccer games on espn or abc all day, every day, for the next two weeks. get excited.

if the world is going to end, it better happen early, so I don't have to spend the whole day at work.

yeah, I said it.

excellent sleight of hand

you know why this is the the main story on CNN.com? [link points to story about a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage]

so that stuff like this IS NOT the main story. [link points to story about some bad news in Irag, and by bad news I mean 50 people were kidnapped by "impostors" posing as police; it was probably the actual police doing some moonlighting, but whatever.]

do we really need a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage? is it that big of a deal to prevent homos from having the same legal partnership rights as straight couples? I don't think so. I think that if gay people want to be gay and partners then they should be able to have the same thing that straight couples do in re: insurance, loans, estate management, etc.

biblically, it's pretty clear that gays cannot be married in the eyes of God. who cares? not gay people. so why bother? because it takes your eye off the ball, even for a little bit. now that's what I call strong leadership.

the buttface

so I was on my flight up to lovely northern CA (on southworst) and it was actually an easy flight. plane wasn't crowded, sat next to a (kind of) pretty girl, the attendants were very cordial, etc. all was really great until it was time to get up and leave. the guy in the aisle across from me, a stout fellow, late 20's, in a t-shirt and saggy jeans (standard), got up first. not wanting to try and fit two people in an aisle where one person was taking up enough room for both of us, I remained seated. in hindsight, this was a mistake.

the stout fellow in the designer jeans (waist: 42; inseam: 30) leaned over and grabbed his bag/backpack and all of a sudden I was nose to sagging beltline with a prodigious ass crack. egads, man! tuck that thing in! it was mere inches my face. really not cool. i almost jumped into my co-passenger's lap to escape it, to no avail, so I stood up.

i figured he'd feel the breeze, as it were, and cover up, no serious harm done.
I figured wrong.

the stout fellow (240 ell-bees if he was an ounce, 5' 7"ish) promptly swung his backpack on, taking up a not inconsiderable amount of space in front (gut) and behind (backpack). as he was swinging, he rotated through my standing room, and I had to sit back down in my chair. just in time for his backpack to pull his XXXL shirt WAY up above his beltline and the reaches of his (low) sagging pants. and give me the buttface again.

dick.

don't let it happen to you.
on the other hand, there's this.

great television - Frontline piece on AIDS

no graphics this time, since I'm out of town and can't login to the blogger.
lots to talk about, but let's mention exceptional television.

I got sucked into a phenomenal television program last night on PBS. I don't know if you watch Frontline. If it's on I will watch it, because they have a reputation for being smart, and more balanced than most news programs (their show on the religion in Bush's politics - http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/jesus/ -  was lauded as a good piece of reporting). last nights show on AIDS had star power (interviews w/ Bill Clinton and Bono, among others), and very smart people talking about a pandemic I know about but hardly pay attention to.

you can go here: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/aids/
and watch the program when they post it. or you can read a little bit about it.
even if you aren't really moved to do anything, I encourage you to check it out. it's powerful.

special highlights:
- bill clinton looking fit and sharp as he talks eloquently about the needle exchange program that would never have passed congress if he approved it
- health workers in India explaining how AIDS is transmitted to truck drivers by playing a weird board game
- the failure of South Africa's president and his lackeys to recognize the severity of the epidemic, and the resulting catastrophe

love you. thanks for reading.