fitness made simple is what it's all about.
so is daytime television. not sure what unemployed america is doing during the day, but judging by the commercials they are, in no particular order:
* fat. and susceptible to unbelievably cheesy ads about fitness products, fitness "personalities", and supplements. my favorite is John Basedow, who has parlayed his fitness obsession into a career as a guy selling fitness made simple. he comes on screen with a song about him. it sounds like the power-ballad backdrop music from those bud light ads ("joooohhhn base-dow. he can help you now" - I am not making this up), and John, though very fit, looks like he also splits time shilling the other daytime tv products. JB says: "Anything you dream, you can do." Sure. But if Brett Fav-ruh gets excited, does John Basedow come out hard and hot?
* bald. hair loss meds and transplant solutions every other minute. with lines like "I bet you can't tell I have thinning hair". yes i can, jackass. losing your hair is no big deal (even if advetrtisers would have you believe it's the end of the world). as my friend Brian pointed out, you get three strikes: getting old, going bald, and getting fat. The first two strikes you can do nothing about, but you can get exercise. and you can still hit a home run down 0-2.
* on their cellphones. ring tones and jokes? do people really buy this stuff? I bought galaga for my cellphone in a moment of weakness and I'm embarrassed by it (although it is the full arcade version, pretty sweet). do I need a ringtone that says "put your pimp cup down"? cellphone companies could build this stuff into the phones but they don't because they want you to buy it. suck.
* collecting settlements. never seen so many ads for lump-sum payouts.
* litigious. lots of personal injury and wrongful termination lawyer ads. nice.
what all this says about me I don't know. nothing good, that's for certain.
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