Albert Burneko is the Best

Left and Right are Social Constructs

There are a few people out there doing good work on the internet and Albert Burneko is one of them. Most of the Deadspin staff is surprisingly good (Tom Ley and Greg Howard are great) but my personal favorite is Burneko. His words are good words. His style is good style. His essay (instructions?) on how to grill a whole fish is a masterpiece, but it is only one of many.

He also writes about basketball, and his essay on why Nick Young is terrible is also a masterpiece. I come back to it periodically, usually for this passage, which is the purest purity:

To confirm my anecdotal sense of his game, I've spent the past three seasons carefully documenting every single one of Young's touches, for the Wizards and also for the Clippers. It turns out that on a shocking 62.3 percent of his touches, he forced (and bricked) a contested pull-up 20-footer early in the shot-clock. On another 20.4 percent of his touches, he forced (and bricked) a contested pull-up 20-footer early in the shot-clock. And on the remaining 17.3 percent of his touches, he turned and pegged the ball through the television screen, directly into my face.

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That is advanced analytics at their finest. If you have ever watched Nick Young play basketball for 5 minutes then you know Burneko is speaking pure truth to power.  Young's incompetence is even more amazing in person; he is a rare orchid that can only flourish in a very specific set of circumstances: troglodyte head coach (Byron Scott), team with other no-name players (identify 3 Lakers from last year excluding Kobe), and a tanking franchise with a top-five protected first round pick (sad faces for Knicks fans).

Enjoy Albert Burneko at every opportunity.