You're gonna need that, or: Fucking shit up with the blender

First thing the doc did when he told me I had TMJ was that I should start eating soft foods for at least a week. He said, "don't chew anything, and try not to talk." Since I eat a lot, and also like to run my mouth, this was an interesting challenge. So lately it's been soup for dinner and smoothies for lunch. Or cream of wheat. Anything soft.

Upside: I love smoothies and any reason to eat milkshakes is a good reason. I got some light ice cream, milk, creamy peanut butter, bananas, nectarines, and anything else that looked like it might be tasty if I blended it up. The blender hadn't seen much use lately (my blended margarita days are behind me) so I was pleased when the blender worked like a charm. I was less pleased when I disassembled it for cleaning and broke the 'blender jar seal ring' that goes in the bottom. Let me tell you that this is not something you want to leave out or damage in any way.

I tried to rebuild the seal ring when I re-assembled the blender. There were, ahh, gaps. When I looked at it I said to myself, "this could go badly." I planned ahead when I made my shake: put all the solid / semi-solid ingredients in first, then the milk, then blendreallyfastsoitdoesn'tspillverymuch. It worked, except for the part where it leakedalloverthefuckingplacerightfromthestart. Mid-mess I decided that if I blended then the extra lower viscosity of the blend would slow the leaking. This was true, as far is it went. It was also true that instead of leaking milk out the bottom it was now leaking peanut-butter banana milkshake, which is a bitch to clean up.

Acting quickly, I finished blending and grabbed a large glass to hold my shake. I picked up the blender jar (still leaking milkshake out the bottom) and promptly poured part of the shake into the glass while the glass was upside down. We store the glasses inverted and I was in a hurry. Seriously. Now one hand is holding the leaky blender jar and the other is holding a glass upside down, covered in milkshake. Briefly, I am Douglas Feith as described by Tommy Franks. I grab another clean glass and finally get the remainder of my shake into a container. Carnage on my kitchen counter and shirt. I kept it mostly off the floor. I would have taken photos but I had to get it cleaned up.

soooooo... that happened.
thanks for reading.