17 August 2014

White People Problems: Yoga Idiots

Long-time readers know that I attend yoga classes on a semi-regular basis. It's good for you, it's a social outlet, it is humbling, personal growth, hot girls in yoga pants, blah blah blah. For the most part I am insulated from the yoga yahoo extreme but every now and then I am exposed to it. There's only so much inward focus you can do in a crowded class. It makes me want to put these people on a vegetarian/vegan, gluten free, quinoa-based, environmentally friendly rocket and launch them into the sun.

Scene: end of yoga class, rolling up my mat. Conversation (overheard): 
Girl 1: Oh my gosh you have so much going on right now!
Girl 2: Oh my gosh I know - I'm sooooo busy.
Girl 1: I saw that you're going to culinary school.
 //Ed: An odd choice for someone who is creepy skinny. 

Girl 2: Yeah it's sooo great. It's vegetarian/vegan and it has been so GOOD for me
 //Ed: Visual evidence suggests otherwise.

Girl 1: And you know /name/, because they're active in the animal rights movement!
Girl 2: Yeah! That is soooo great that you do that too.
Girl 1: Thank you so much - we are planning an event at the pier tomorrow. Did you know they kill all those fish? We have t-shirts and we're going to make it really friendly and approachable.

//Ed: :: blurgh :: Hey did anything happen last week aside from the brutal murder of some bait fish on the pier? Like, did a man get gunned down in the street or anything? Police sweep in and violate anyone's constitutional right to assemble, all in the name of law and 'order'? Ring any bells? No? Oh. Carry on with your crusade for the rights of the anchovy.

I'm sure your "approachable" protest is going to make a huge impact with the fisherman. BTW, do you speak Spanish and/or Vietnamese? No? Oh. Maybe not so much.

:: Exeunt all ::

It's so nice that I live in a place where people can go to vegetarian/vegan culinary school (Example recipe: wash organic broccoli, eat, enjoy(?)) and also not worry about my neighborhood getting occupied by the local clown school police force. Black people in Ferguson need to worry about dying in those streets. White people in Costa Mesa got problems too: people are killing fish on the pier!

Enjoy your week. I'm eating lamb for dinner. It helps remind me not to be a sheep.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

notwithstanding an objective analysis of the scientific literature strongly advocates for a vegan diet