- an open sore on her face - I went on a first date with a girl and she had a "cold sore". she should have had the good sense to reschedule, put her best foot forward, etc. she had some issues she was working through, no doubt about that. I found out later that she was a lesbian. (really)
- a girl that takes more than an hour to get ready - if you can't take a shower, get your hair sorted, get dressed, and get your makeup on in sixty minutes or less then we can't hang out. The problem with a girl that takes a really long time to get ready is that she probably...
- looks super weathered in the AM - if you look really rugged first thing in the morning then that's a Red Flag for sure. if a girl looks cute w/ her makeup all smeared and her hair all over the place, then she's a keeper. side note: close friend was telling me about his crazy roommate, and saying she meets guys on myspace and she's constantly meeting new guys and they only last for 2 weeks, and then they bounce. I said yeah for sure, she's cuter in pictures than in person. He says, no, it's not that; they bounce after they stay the night and see her the morning after. ohhh, snap!
- girl that doesn't work out - trust me honey, it'll catch up with you someday. and by then it'll be too late, b/c it's much, much harder to lose weight than it is to stay in shape.
- girl that doesn't eat - please, eat something.
- girl that has a miniature dog she treats like a child - you, as the new guy, will be competing for the dog's attention. forever. you're better off dating a girl that has a kid. note: if the girl has a full-sized dog then it's okay. you can take the dog for walks, hang out, etc. it's the toy dogs, and their owners, you need to avoid.
- girl that thinks cosmo is gospel, and/or that thinks she is "just like" a character on Sex and the City - Cosmo is full of lies from the pit of hell, and it's just crazy to think that you are someone on TV. I think I stopped dreaming about being someone on TV when Knight Rider went off the air in 1986. I was 12.
thanks for reading.
* = if you follow my dating advice you may be condemned to the same dating "success" that I have, so take all this with a grain of salt.
7 comments:
I'm so proud to have made the list, do I win a prize?
don't be so sure it's you. just because you are A girl w/ a little dog doesn't mean you are THE girl w/ the little dog.
Maybe, there was no mention of the floor debacle.....
Fantastic! these comments are relative to the dog. The rest of your list I can take or leave, as my girlfriend has been known to push the hour mark, but the lap dog comment is a deal breaker. It bespeaks of an iceberg of crippling mental and emotional issues present in the owner. It is also indicative of they type of person they would like to meet...probably reads cosmo as there is some crosspollination in your list.
I resent the small dog comments. I, being the adoptive father of a small Chihuahua, happen to love that little fu&^%er even though she goes to the bathroom on my carpet. Considering I am just renting back from the new owner of the home, who gives a sh^&t. My wife says, "Who cares, it's not our carpet." I agree. Also, I give dog more attention than my wife. P.S. She loves boiled egg. Just like her new daddy......
what if girl has a toy dog she says is exactly like a character on sex and the city? can two wrongs make it oh so right?
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So I am still waiting for the picture of the hot neighboor-mom....
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