26 November 2005

the mailbag, giving thanks, and current events

hope you had a good thanksgiving.
dicky v's mailbag was published earlier this week. sweet. let's give thanks for that. we'll get to it in a few minutes. first, current events...

what's up with NOI lookalikes attacking liquor stores in oakland? don't you guys have anything better to do? the NOI office in oakland says the attackers were not affiliated. fair enough. still no idea what those guys were thinking. question: what would happen if a bunch of white guys in suits attacked neighborhood liquor stores? either way, it's a bunch of idiots breaking stuff. dur.

other current events: brazilian pop singer [very hot, if you care] is banned from a vatican christmas show because she was active at a safe sex rally and said that "condoms prevent the spread of AIDS." I can see where the controversy is coming from. apparently safe sex is very controversial at the vatican. (there's a pedophile joke in there somewhere, but we're too good for that. I think.)

ooohhh, more news: national announcement from the Department of Homeland Security: malls are attractive targets for terrorists. security people are asked to be on the alert. I can't wait to see what that looks like at my local mall. maybe the 800 year old retiree that patrols the parking lot will take fewer cigarette breaks? I tend to be on the alert for talent at south coast plaza, and I'm rarely disappointed. not sure about terrorists. I'm more afraid of some overmedicated suburbanite running me down in her Escalade. (this has happened.)

okay, back to our main mission: identifying the idiocy of one Richard "The Dick" Vitale. some have argued that this sort of activity lands in the same area as shooting fish in barrels, taking candy from babies, making out with drunk sorority girls, etc, etc. whatever. as usual, The Dick's comments in bold, and my witty repartee in plain text.

Victor P. Conway NC
I would like know who you think is the best team in the ACC, And Who will win the ACC?

This is a great opening question, and I'm really glad that The Dick is going to open his mailbag by answering it. Let me rephrase this question so it's less obvious: Dick, who is the team in the ACC ranked #1 in the country in all the polls, and what team did you already pick as your #1 in a previous column?

VITALE: I feel Duke is the team to beat. I picked the Blue Devils to win the national championship. Mike Krzyzewski has J. J. Redick and Shelden Williams returning, plus a great incoming class led by Josh McRoberts and Greg Paulus.

Duke, the team to beat? does that mean in the nation, or just in the ACC? hey dick, does the sun rise in the east and set in the west? get back to me.

Matt (Buffalo, NY)
With Warrick gone, do you think the Orange have a legit shot at winning another championship?

not a bad question. the cuse don't have a shot, but this is a good opportunity for The Dick to name drop, flail around and not answer. to wit:

VITALE: You can't put anything past Jimmy Boeheim and that 2-3 zone.

dur.

He knows how to win and the arrival of Eric Devendorf gives the Orange a diaper dandy who will get better and better.

No one gets worse in dickyland.

Gerry McNamara is a great perimeter shooter.

no kidding? how can anyone who follows the game even read this stuff?

Guys like Terrence Roberts, Louie McCroskey, Darryl Watkins and Demetris Nichols have to step it up, grow up and be active. Syracuse should still be one of the upper echelon teams in the Big East.

and that brings us to the end of the comments. the original question: do syracuse have a chance at winning a national championship? read it again, slowly, and tell me if you can find the answer in his response. no? me either. the answer is no, but that terrific Irishman from Scranton, PA will take them to the tournament, hopefully late in the tournament.

and I'm spent. thanks for reading.
it was a long entry, but we had a slow afternoon here in the OC. great job all week.

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