dick vitale is an XL douchebag, part XVII

lots of truly terrific commentary from the dick this week. espn publishes everything this guy says. if only he were halfway talented, they'd really be onto something.
I have to admit, sometimes it's tough to summon up something clever to say about dicky v's idiocy. but then I have a look at one of his columns and the floodgates open. thank God.
today's entry borrows from his "nba notebook". as if his boring, bland platitudes about college basketball weren't enough.

I am a big fan of basketball, so I keep an eye on the NBA as well as the sport I love, college basketball.
no kidding, dicky? well, i'm sure your expertise will make itself evident here.

As the pro season tips off, there are a lot of interesting story lines. How will the Knicks fare with Larry Brown as coach? How will the Lakers' soap opera of Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson play out? Personally, I think Kobe is going to have a big season.
this from the dick: Kobe Bryant, arguably the best player in the NBA behind Tim Duncan, is going to have a big season. I can see the dick really dusted off his magnifying glass.

Watch out for LeBron James; he should get the Cavaliers into the playoffs under new coach Mike Brown.
the cavs finished, I think, a game out of the playoffs last year. so the dick is really going out on a limb here. for f's sake.

Looking ahead, a lot of people have asked me which two teams will meet in the finals. I am predicting the San Antonio Spurs and Miami Heat will battle for the big gold trophy.

bold, dicky. bold. what, no warriors / bucks in the finals? clippers and, ummm, duke?

I really feel Miami has made a lot of moves to strengthen its depth. Shaq and Dwyane Wade lead the way, but important contributions should come from Antoine Walker, Jason Williams and James Posey. In the end, I see the San Antonio Spurs celebrating again as Duncan leads the way to yet another championship.

ahh, and there you go. amazingly, no teams got worse this year. is that even possible?
it is in the land of the dick.
I'm starting a new feature here at firedickvitale. I'm calling it TNNW, short for total number of negative words. if I stop working 10 hour days then I'll go back and review some of the previous columns, mostly because I know it'll be so easy. here's how it works: if I analyze a column or a broadcast, I'll count the total number of negative words. this one's easy: zero.