Bonus Day!

Bonus day today. To celebrate (?) here's John Oliver going in on Donald Trump Drumpf. Enjoy!

Dating is a Chore

After a bit of a break I'm out there in these streets, dating. I've never been a big fan of dating and since the last girl I dated could charitably be described as socially retarded (and uncharitably described as "a terrible human being") I am a little gun-shy. Fortunately dating new girls is relatively easy as I'm reasonably good at talking to people and they aren't all socially retarded. (Silver lining: the spectacular awfulness of the last girl makes for entertaining conversation when I am inevitably asked why I'm still single. The narrative of how I was a decent person dealing with a psycho that needed the threat of a restraining order to leave me alone seems to play well. Apparently there are a lot of crazy people out there. Who knew?)

The second-level question of why I was with someone so awful requires a bit of introspection but if delivered with honesty it seems to land well enough. People see what they want to see, and while that extended my own personal nightmare (see previous paragraph) it also works to my advantage when I meet someone new. Human psychology FTW!

So how's it going? Enh, it's going okay. It turns out that dates want to go 'out' and do 'stuff', and by 'stuff' I mean 'something besides sit on my couch and watch replays of League of Legends'. Weird, I know. Granted, sometimes they want to do cool stuff, like go to the range or clean guns or make out or see an awesome movie. But other times they want to talk or go to shows or spend time with me on my birthday or go to bars or go to a bar and then a show and back to the bar, possibly on my birthday. It's all more than a little exhausting. The struggle is real. And I need a nap. 

I Went There: Boulder/Broomfield

Flatirons (barely) in Boulder, CO

(One in an occasional series.)

Went out to Broomfield, CO to do that thing where I get paid to talk to people and they talk to me and we all enjoy the fact that we got to talk to one another. It's a pretty good deal if that's your thing. (Getting paid to do stuff that doesn't suck is very definitely my thing.)

Boulderfield busted out the 'good' weather when I was there, which was kind of a drag because I prefer cold weather on a winter trip. (Not much in the way of seasons in the land of endless summer where I live.) I would probably have had a hard time driving in the snow, and also they must have some kind of bear problem in the area because the rental car had a stick in it that had a brush on one end and some kind of scraper on the other. I was told that you are supposed to use it to scrape ice off your windshield but that sounds like a nightmare so I assume it was for the local wildlife: bears, college kids, etc. Hence: bear stick. I was going to bring it home with me but didn't want to check my luggage.

Overall my brief experience with south Boulder was that I went to a yoga studio that shared room in a strip mall with a 'running' store (if you like using your shoes for something else then go elsewhere), a bicycle shop, a 'mountaineering' store, and a craft brewery. It was the most Boulder-y shopping center I could find. The yoga was good! You should go there if you're in the area. Also good: the sunsets. The sunsets were unusually good because all the people were taking photos so I took one too. I wanted to get more mountains in there but there was an ugly streetlight in the way. More sky!

See you out there.

Science of Yoga

Hello friends! What's new with you?

I finished a pretty good book, The Science of Yoga by William J. Broad. I looked this up and Amazon reports that I ordered it back in September of 2014, so it sat on my nightstand for well over a year. :: sad emoji :: Once I got started I finished it in about a week, as it is very readable. Being stuck in some airports helped.

The author aggregates the scientific findings related to yoga in studies on health and fitness. People make all sorts of holistic health claims about yoga that are patently false, which is not necessary as there are many proven benefits (proven = found in numbers that are statistically significant, not anecdotal).

It turns out that yoga does next to nothing for your cardiovascular fitness, but a great many things for most of the rest of your body. So mix in some cardio work to get your heart rate up once in a while, do some yoga, and you should be good.

Much of the publicity that surrounded this book after it was published was caused by the reaction to the reporting of injuries. Yoga, like most exercise, can hurt you very badly, but people seemed particularly offended by the notion.

I recommend the book and, as always: you can borrow my copy.

Let's Get Down for Real: Monument by MUTEMATH (Tim Gunter Remix)

This is a very dubsteppy mix of a good song. I'm not usually a fan of dubstep because the drops are wack. (They're just filler because the "producer" can't write a hook. Yeah it's cool you can have a seizure dance to it but it isn't good.)

But this is the good shit! Get down to this shit! There's a nice little hook in the drop that you can bounce around to if you're that type of person that likes fun. Good job, producer man.

Free download if you support on fb. Now excuse me while I turn this up and get down.

Get Your Dance On!

//unlicensed music means the video got removed//

I'm not a huge fan of this jam but the guy in this video is a friend and if a friend is in a dance video on the internet you better believe I'm putting it here. Plus that sweatshirt is dope as hell and I want one.

Pseudonyms

Click to Embiggen

This was on a park bench in downtown Park City. There was so much #branding going on that it's hard to know if it was placed there by a marketing person or if someone just has a sense of humor. Possibly both.

88 degrees and sunny in my neighborhood today. Summer in February.

No Tonic for the Body Like Old Bourbon Whiskey

Long time readers will know that I enjoy the occasional cocktail, and a well-made bourbon drink remains my preferred tipple in all but the most rare occasions (e.g. sipping a Negroni while watching a sunset in Florence; enjoying beers in dive bars in Park City; etc.). Deliver unto me your best examples of your Old Fashioned, your Manhattan, your Mint Julep, your humble Bourbon and Soda, your Bourbon on the Rocks (ordered infrequently as the ice in most bars is shit), your straight Bourbon, and I will enjoy them all with great satisfaction. Bourbon is good, is what I mean.

This prose description of the Mint Julep is a bit purple, but it comes to life when recited from memory by the great Chris McMillian (while he prepares what looks to be a truly superb example). Fantastic delivery, outstanding presentation; it gets no better, and it makes a man thirsty for a delicious, refreshing drink.

Excuse me while I shop tickets to New Orleans...

The Mint Julep by Joshua Soule Smith
Then comes the zenith of man’s pleasure. Then comes the julep – the mint julep. Who has not tasted one has lived in vain. The honey of Hymettus brought no such solace to the soul; the nectar of the Gods is tame beside it. It is the very dream of drinks, the vision of sweet quaffings. 

The Bourbon and the mint are lovers. In the same land they live, on the same food they are fostered. The mint dips infant leaf into the same stream that makes The Bourbon what it is. The corn grows in the level lands through which small streams meander. By the brook-side the mint grows. As the little wavelets pass, they glide up to kiss the feet of the growing mint, and the mint bends to salute them. Gracious and kind it is, living only for the sake of others. Like a woman’s heart it gives its sweetest aroma when bruised. Among the first to greet the spring, it comes. Beside gurgling brooks that make music in the fields, it lives and thrives. When the bluegrass begins to shoot its gentle sprays towards the sun, mint comes, and its sweetest soul drinks at the crystal brook. It is virgin then. But soon it must be married to old Bourbon. His great heart, his warmth of temperament, and that affinity which no one understands, demands the wedding.

How shall it be? Take from the cold spring some water, pure as angels are; mix it with sugar till it seems like oil. Then take a glass and crush your mint within it with a spoon – crush it around the borders of the glass and leave no place untouched. Then throw the mint away – it is the sacrifice. Fill with cracked ice the glass; pour in the quantity of Bourbon which you want. It trickles slowly through the ice. Let it have time to cool, then pour your sugared water over it. No spoon is needed; no stirring allowed- just let it stand a moment. Then around the brim place sprigs of mint, so that the one who drinks may find the taste and odor at one draft.

Then when it is made, sip it slowly. August suns are shining, the breath of the south wind is upon you. It is fragrant cold and sweet – it is seductive. No maidens kiss is tenderer or more refreshing, no maidens touch could be more passionate. Sip it and dream-it is a dream itself. No other land can give you so much sweet solace for your cares; no other liquor soothes you in melancholy days. Sip it and say there is no solace for the soul, no tonic for the body like old Bourbon whiskey.

I Went There: Plano, Texas

(One in an occasional series.)

Hey is there a football game on today? I hadn't heard. 

As part of my job-related Great Western Tour I visited the Dallas metro area. And by that I mean I went to Plano.

Dallas chief attraction is that there are a lot of beautiful women. Like, a lot. Not much else to recommend it, if we're honest. The look tends to be very blonde with a lot of makeup. A lot of makeup is definitely not my preference but it seems to work for them. (A lot of makeup is a Dallas thing, as is wonderfully well explained here.) Aside from that: very little to report. Plano is malls, planned communities and office parks. Sterile and boring.

Ended up finding a birthday present for my mom (that's it in the picture). I hope she likes it.