Go Right

More video. This time from games.

Also this happened, which I liked: http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bookshelf.png

Barak Obama slow jams the news

This is popping up all over the internet. Jimmy Fallon gets Barack Obama on to slow jam the news. I loved
it.

Is that a skimboard?

This from Big Cheese.
That's a skimboard and he's 'skurfing'. Whatever. It doesn't have a fin.

Of course he did.

Guess who scored the winner in the biggest game of the weekend? I like how he suggests that 105,000 screaming yahoos should calm down.
Get it while it's hot because it'll get taken down soon.

Moving: out, on, whatever

Why no updates for so long? Well it's been a very busy time over here. Not that you care. Hot on the heels of getting the girl moved I packed up my stuff and moved, too. Back to Costa Mesa, if you must know. My 2+ years of exile in San Clemente are over. I should have moved a while ago but it took me time to find a place and also I wanted to find a place for the girl first. One thing at a time. Anyway, I will send you my new address as soon as I fill out a change of address form. Should hit your inbox some time next week.

Epic sloth photobomb comes courtesy the internet. Sloths are awesome. It's a living bug carpet. Sometimes moss grows on them. Of course it looks like he's perpetually stoned smiling. You would too if all you did was eat and nap.They have fossils of sloths that are over 6 feet tall. (There's a particularly good one at the La Brea tar pits.) Never mind the dinosaurs, let's bring one of those things back to life. It would be like hanging out with a bear that just raided a honey-laden marijuana dispensary.

For the ladies: Ronaldo's sweet, sweet man-thigh

Not quite as entertaining as the last goal but he does make it look easy. Which it isn't.

I don't know either

As of this writing this song has ~11,300 views on the tube of yous. It's a G-damn travesty, if you'll pardon my French (and you likely will, or you wouldn't be here). It was released in 2006 but this version was uploaded in 2010.

Anyway, it's follows a musical strategy I find very effective, e.g.: find a good melody, wear it out. Works for me in dance music, works here just as well.

Now please go load test your speakers.





And Also: Welcome back Mrs. Green! We (note use of majestic plural there) were well pleased to see a comment from one of our long-absent readership. Probably she decided to take a break from making people depressed by crushing them mercilessly at Words With Friends and visit the blogspace. It's the little things.

Bring the noise

Big Cheese invited me to join spotify so he could crib some of my music recommendations. I reminded him that as a previous recipient of my entire vinyl collection (which I gave to him after I - regrettably - sold my turntables), he should know better.

My taste in jams stretches from 'weepy and sad' to 'pump up anthems' to 'T.I.' to 'white guy jams*'. Seriously. I'd call my musical taste unsophisticated but that would be giving it too much credit. Sure I have a strong catalog of pump-up jams but if you're not into that then I don't have much to offer you.

In pump-up anthems, check this out:




I know it's old but it's still a good pump-up jam. Bassnectar is the boss. 

*The thing about white guy jams is that the bands tend to fade out after a couple years, only to be replaced by new bands that sound exactly the same. Thus DMB begat OAR begat OneRepublic. Still, the derivative bands have some listenable tracks. Well, OneRepublic does if you don't overdo it. OAR is rubbish.

Sorry, fresh out

This from Ze Newbs, via email, with the following message:

also bc you are dork like that...

Moving update: I didn't move house

Been getting some emails, txt msgs, and calls in re: my previous post about moving house. To be clear: I didn't move house. My girlfriend moved house so I was acting in a supporting role. I didn't actually change addresses.

Apologies for the ambiguity; I'll do better next time.
Hope you had a good Easter / Passover / spring fertility festival.

Went to bread baking class this weekend at Le Pain Quotidien. It was cool. Made delicious breads. Learned new things. Ate delicious breads. Good times.

It's a fine line between stupid and awesome

Sometimes stupid shit is awesome, and sometimes awesome shit is stupid. Where you draw the line usually depends on how old you are, if you have kids or not, or whether or not you are risk-averse. Anyway, Colbert touches on that, and also motorcycle wheelies in the Lincoln Tunnel, in this video. This will likely show up on HFL before long but my friend Kimberly emailed it to me. You can find it on the Comedy Central website. Thanks Kimberly!

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Golf: what people watch when drying paint is too exciting

Golf is boring. A lot of people play it because, let's be honest, pretty much any fat slob anybody can drive around and occasionally swing a stick. That's not to say it isn't very, very difficult to play at the highest level. And while it's not particularly physically demanding it behooves a player to be in peak physical condition. Tiger Woods in his prime was in phenomenal shape.* But: it's boring. The Masters is this week, presumably so that people all over the country can set aside some time to catch up on their naps this Saturday and Sunday. Or maybe they'll stay awake and watch while mega-rich members of an exclusive club (no jews, no blacks, no women) get their 'traditional' ball-gargling on national television.

On the other hand, the MotoGP season kicks off in Qatar. Motorcycle racing is not boring. Well, it can be boring at the front if someone stretches out a big lead but, in general, it tends to be quite exciting. Lots of passing. Intense action. It's not hugely popular in the states because, contrary to whatever Harley Davidson may try and sell you, pretty much any fat slob anybody cannot get on a motorcycle and ride it.

If you're curious, the MotoGP race will be on SpeedTV on Sunday at around noon. The coverage won't be all that great but I promise the race will be exciting. Check your local listings for channels and times.

* True story: Woods (pre-divorce) used to have a house in Corona del Mar and work out at the same gym as me once in a while. He could be found doing a variety of exercises, ripping through 405-lb bench presses, etc. Seriously. The guy is strong.

Giving 100%

Were you using this?

Moving is such a drag. So it's nice when you can get help from your best friend and companion. Even if they don't actually 'help' in the traditional sense of the word.

//
In response to the response from Sweet Katie about my post on Ronaldo (below):

"Yes, the goal was great. But can I just interject... the man is beautiful, as is his leg!"

He still does his hair at halftime.

//

Cristiano Ronaldo is a prancing ponce

I'm glad Leo Messi is around because that means we don't have to hear as much about Cristiano Ronaldo. Because he is really, really good at football. It says something about how good Messi is that his star eclipses one as bright as C. Ronaldo.

In related news, if I scored a goal like this then I would almost certainly celebrate in similar fashion. You know it's good when your own teammates are imitating it on the bench. Respect.