stream of consciousness blandness from the Dick, plus fruit and berries

The Dick is at it again. let's get right to the action. as usual, dick's words in bold, my comments in good old fashioned plain text. these words are from the "Dickie V notebook". it's sort of like my blog, except he gets paid and I'm not an idiot.
In recent years, Villanova has had some tough luck with injuries. The latest bit of bad news came when Curtis Sumpter suffered a knee injury.

I think about the tough times California's Leon Powe went through in rehabbing to get back on the court. I hope Powe has a big year ahead as he comes back from multiple surgeries.

where did that come from? oh, i see. injuries to one player at villanova reminds you of injuries to a player from a program on the other side of the country, in a different conference. they are both forwards. and they play basketball. so that's something.
Any time you lose a player of that stature, it is a major blow. Some people bring up how well Villanova played without him in the one-point loss to eventual champion North Carolina. That was a one-game scenario vs. an entire season.
professional analysis from the Dick: injuries to major contributors can negatively affect your program. also: losing a player for one game is not the same as losing a player for an entire season. genius.
on the subject of Georgia Tech landing a highly touted recruit:
Hewitt has a magical way in the world of recruiting. He and his staff work diligently, and getting a player of his stature is a great victory for Georgia Tech.
magical? what does that even mean? and don't confuse the coach and his staff with those other programs that slack off in the recruiting department. it's not like college basketball is big business or anything.
it's a beautiful day here in southern CA. i'm off to sit in traffic.

while we're at it, let's fire Michael Irvin, too

the espn website is having some hiccups right now, so as I watch the NFL countdown on espn. I get a chance to entertain myself with the "hijinks" of the espn team: the unwatchable cris berman, vanilla steve young, idiotic michael irvin, tom jackson, and quality Chris Mortensen. the highlight of the day, aside from laughing every time the playmaker opens his mouth or appears on camera (he and Deion have a terrific, and by terrific I mean "terror inspiring", sartorial taste), was michael's interview with LaVar Arrington.
I am not a fan of Arrington, because I figured that LaVar was just a jerk who couldn't follow the team plan. in a series of ham-handed leading questions from Irvin, LaVar refused to bag his coaches, be led into saying anything negative about being a healthy scratch for games, or offer up any sort of excuse for his benching. unexpected. I would type up a transcript of the interview but i changed the channel and can't rewind. here's a quick example of irvin's skilled interview style: uhh, LaVar, doesn't it just eat you up inside when you're not on the field?
lavar: yes. a player wants to play.
irvin: yeah. but it has to eat at you, not playing.
[paraphrasing here] lavar: of course. but I want to help the team, do what I'm told, etc, etc.
irvin makes almost any guy look like he has some class, simply by being such an utter douchebag. arrington has a reputation for being obsessed with his own stats, and his freelancing is what keeps him on the sidelines, but he did a good job in the interview.

Why Dick Vitale? plus a writing sample

thanks for reading.

I got to thinking about why anyone would want to pick on Dick Vitale. Actually, I know why, but I figured that the general public might want to know. assuming they haven't heard him in action or read his idiotic columns. I already outlined some (of many) reasons to choose him, but I forgot to list sheer quantity of idiocy. if you're going to single someone out for their inanity, then it's much, much easier to choose somebody that's inane in volume. more material from the Dick (as we'll call him) = less work for theDoosh.


also I feel like there's an audience for this. I googled "dick vitale sucks" and got over 47,000 hits. that's got to mean something. besides the fact that I am not getting any work done at the office right now. plus the guy writes (or claims he writes) columns for ESPN.com and espn the magazine. If you've ever subscribed to the magazine and checked out the espn.com "premium content" you know they're the same thing. so I get access to genius insight like this, from his 6 September column about Jerry Rice retiring. apparently the Dick can hold forth on football because he's, umm, old.
here we go, with the Dick's words in bold:


I was not surprised when Jerry Rice decided to retire on Monday.

No shit, dicky? was it because he used to be good? or because he was older than Methuselah?

The greatest wide receiver in NFL history understood reality.

The Dick gets paid to write this stuff. Really. "understood reality". superb.

Let's face it -- there comes a time in your life when you have to look in the mirror and say that all of these coaches can't be wrong.

get out!

It was time to bow out with grace, class and dignity. That's exactly what he did, showing emotion at his press conference.

Uhh, yeah. by "grace, class, and dignity" you mean after you bounce around the league like a remora, scavenging the scraps of former lesser-lights? now THAT'S class.

So many athletes have a hard time pushing that "off" button, understanding when they have to say the career is over.

no arguments here. I feel the same way about your career, Dick. and I definitely agree this defines JR's career. and not in a good way.

Rice reached a point where, after enjoying a marvelous career in every way, it is time to move on and make that transition to the real world. The Hall of Famer has rewritten the football record books, holding marks for most receptions, receiving yards and touchdown catches.

damn. who knew?

An athlete knows it is time to leave his sport when he is no longer able to perform the way he used to. At the very least, athletes expect to contribute, and Rice was not going to do that as the Broncos' fourth receiver.

more insight.

The party was over once the evaluations came in. Yes, he made the team, but not in the role he desired. We should all hail Rice for his great career. A class act, he has walked off the football-playing stage for the last time.

sticking around way past your sell-by date, pouting when the young bucks start to outperform you (Terrell Owens, jerry porter, anyone in the league born after 1980). you're right Dick, that is class.

I can't make this stuff up.

Inaugural post for the Fire Dick Vitale blogspot

Thanks for reading.
I have been looking for a creative outlet, a forum, for some closely held opinions on the subject of sportswriting and sports broadcasting. I was so moved after reading some recent posts from the brilliant firejoemorgan blogspot that i realized I could start a blog about my personal broadcasting nemesis: Dick Vitale.
I think there's a forum for just such a thing. And also it will give me something to do. The blog will be a closed forum at first, but if you feel like contributing, send me an email (firedickvitale@yahoo.com) and if you can write, I'll give you the keys.

Why a blog about Dick Vitale and his broadcasting and writing? Let me count the ways:

1. DickyV is a persona, not an actual announcer. He tries to be bigger than the game itself, which gets in the way of me watching the games. What could be a terrific basketball game becomes an inevitable shouting match.
   
2. V-speak on the espn.com website. DickyV has his own glossary of words and terms.
   
3. DickyV is a cheerleader, not a commentator. Which means endless bland platitudes about every. single. basketball. program. It is simply not possible for every freshman to be fabulous. Not possible for every coach to be really, really terrific.Sometimes, you have to say something negative. Unless you're DickyV.
   
4. Awesome, baby. 'nuff said.
   
5. I'd like to get a proctologist to have DickyV removed from the collective anuses of the coaches of the following basketball programs: North Carolina, Iowa, Memphis, Louisville, Arizona, and especially: Duke.
   

So that's enough for a start. I promise to update the blog at least once every other day as hoops season heats up.
I also promise to skewer, ridicule, and demean any sort of broadcasting idiocy I am forced to endure as I watch basketball/football/hockey/soccer. yes, soccer. we're international here at firedickvitale.