I got to thinking about why anyone would want to pick on Dick Vitale. Actually, I know why, but I figured that the general public might want to know. assuming they haven't heard him in action or read his idiotic columns. I already outlined some (of many) reasons to choose him, but I forgot to list sheer quantity of idiocy. if you're going to single someone out for their inanity, then it's much, much easier to choose somebody that's inane in volume. more material from the Dick (as we'll call him) = less work for theDoosh.
also I feel like there's an audience for this. I googled "dick vitale sucks" and got over 47,000 hits. that's got to mean something. besides the fact that I am not getting any work done at the office right now. plus the guy writes (or claims he writes) columns for ESPN.com and espn the magazine. If you've ever subscribed to the magazine and checked out the espn.com "premium content" you know they're the same thing. so I get access to genius insight like this, from his 6 September column about Jerry Rice retiring. apparently the Dick can hold forth on football because he's, umm, old.
here we go, with the Dick's words in bold:
I was not surprised when Jerry Rice decided to retire on Monday.
No shit, dicky? was it because he used to be good? or because he was older than Methuselah?
The greatest wide receiver in NFL history understood reality.
The Dick gets paid to write this stuff. Really. "understood reality". superb.
Let's face it -- there comes a time in your life when you have to look in the mirror and say that all of these coaches can't be wrong.
get out!
It was time to bow out with grace, class and dignity. That's exactly what he did, showing emotion at his press conference.
Uhh, yeah. by "grace, class, and dignity" you mean after you bounce around the league like a remora, scavenging the scraps of former lesser-lights? now THAT'S class.
So many athletes have a hard time pushing that "off" button, understanding when they have to say the career is over.
no arguments here. I feel the same way about your career, Dick. and I definitely agree this defines JR's career. and not in a good way.
Rice reached a point where, after enjoying a marvelous career in every way, it is time to move on and make that transition to the real world. The Hall of Famer has rewritten the football record books, holding marks for most receptions, receiving yards and touchdown catches.
damn. who knew?
An athlete knows it is time to leave his sport when he is no longer able to perform the way he used to. At the very least, athletes expect to contribute, and Rice was not going to do that as the Broncos' fourth receiver.
more insight.
The party was over once the evaluations came in. Yes, he made the team, but not in the role he desired. We should all hail Rice for his great career. A class act, he has walked off the football-playing stage for the last time.
sticking around way past your sell-by date, pouting when the young bucks start to outperform you (Terrell Owens, jerry porter, anyone in the league born after 1980). you're right Dick, that is class.
I can't make this stuff up.
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