Homemade Egg Nog is The Best

The Good Shit

Forget everything you learned from egg nog you bought in the store. That stuff is usually trash, occasionally decent, and never as good as the pure uncut good shit you can make at home. It cannot be as good, because it does not have the whipped egg whites and the nutmeg is going to become dull and bland. Yes you can put lipstick on a pig and dress that store-bought shortcut up a little with your own grated nutmeg but: come on, people. If you're going to do it then do it right. Go all the way.

Backstory: My peep got me a Game of Thrones mug ("Crows Before Hoes", with a picture of Jon Snow) for Christmas and I needed to break it in with something delicious, such as bourbon, egg nog, or the tears of my enemies. I'm not much for drinking alone on a weeknight and the tears of my enemies taste of ash and bitterness so I opted for some delicious homemade egg nog. Recipe courtesy Alton Brown.

It's pretty damn easy to make, especially because I threw caution to the wind and opted not to cook mine. Yeah I said it! I got those free range farm fresh eggs for $8 a dozen so those happy chickens (and their eggs) aren't bathed in their own shit. You gotta take your time though, because something something proteins and emulsions and blah blah blah. I love Alton Brown but sometimes I don't want a chemistry lesson, I just want to make some delicious goods and stuff them into my face.

So happy holidays, and make some homemade egg nog this year. You deserve it.