Hot Takes: Andy Gray is a Moron

The internet is a vast space and there is a lot of pressure to generate content. Also the barriers to entry are low - you do not need to be able to think critically. There are too many examples of this type of stupid to list but a good one caught my eye today. Take it away, Andy Gray of SI, who got worked up because the very, very rich Chicago Cubs are acting to protect their controlling interest in a well paid employee:

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This really annoyed me [says Andy]. The MLB Players Association is livid because the Cubs are sending Kris Bryant to Triple-A for the first 10 games of the season. In doing this, it pushes Bryant's free agency back another season. The MLBPA feels this is unfair. You know what's unfair? The average salary of a MLB player in 2014 was $3.82 million while the median salary of an Army staff sergeant in 2014 was $31,521. I know Bryant has been one of the best players this spring training, but baseball players are rich beyond belief and nobody wants to hear your complaining. Rant over.
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This logic is so reductive and stupid that it makes me wonder how this guy is able to function successfully in the wider world. How can he collect his own salary in good conscience knowing that our servicemen and -women around the world are egregiously underpaid? How can anyone!!?? :: head explodes ::

To recap: baseball team behaves unethically (but legally) to give themselves the best possible business advantage and restrict an employees earning potential. This is 'unfair' (and very often illegal, but the rules are different for MLB). But no one should complain about unfair or unethical wage-reducing practices because they make a lot of money and Army staff sergeants do not. Ugh I still can't get this to make any sense at all.

If you are in second grade and/or work in the link-dump subdivision of a media enterprise in decline then it is perfectly acceptable to draw a straight line from MLB player earnings and a low-tier professional in our armed forces. In all other instances, such as if you can think critically at a third-grade level or above, then it is not reasonable. These two things are related only because your brain is small so they have to sit in close proximity, a lonely life raft of ideas floating in a vast ocean of otherwise empty space.