punch me in the face

check back with me next week. super busy at work so I don't feel like doing anything computer related when I get done.

blah blah blah.

it's been a crazy, busy week (part the second)

i've been busy. it happens. and when i've had a few spare minutes I don't feel like looking at a computer screen. hence, no blog entries. i've got good topics backing up in my gmail but I haven't had time or energy to address them. this little gem from the onion will have to do for now. it made me laugh. a lot. example content:

In fact, your brotitude is so brossential that, in many ways, you are the ultimate brototype: You sprung out of the brotean ooze at the very broment of creation, unformed, unmolded, and became the ultimate bro, more powerful than any who came brofore.

more is coming. I promise.
thanks to Zach for the tip (truly he is a god among bros).

I like the part where he says "this should be interesting"

A guy designed and built a battery-powered motorcycle. it's very fast. If you watch this video, you get to see him talk about it, and then you get to see him do a burnout, and then you get to see the rear tire hook up and him take off and crash into a minivan. ouch.

skip to 3:20 into the video to go straight to the good part.

apparently he flipped over the van and landed in the street, but he had feeling in his fingers and toes and wasn't badly hurt.

sports photography tips; or: Failure, and how I managed it

Several of the peeps participated in a sprint triathlon over the weekend. 5, to be exact. I wasn't in shape for that, but I thought it would be fun to show support, take some action photos, record the event, etc, etc. Let's just say that Neil Leifer and Walter Iooss don't have anything to worry about. Here's what I learned:

1. Get up on time. If you don't, you might get stuck on the wrong side of the street for two hours, waiting for your unrecognizable friends to ride by on bicycles @ 30 MPH. Not a great photo op.

2. Scout location in advance. Don't expect to show up in a crowd of people and figure that you'll find your friends. A bunch of people standing around in black wetsuits and matching swim caps makes it hard to find your peeps.

3. Tell your friends where you'll be. That way they will pay attention, pick it up a bit when they go by. Or slow down. Or maybe look at you.

4. For bike shots, top of hills are good, bottom, not so much. The opposite is true for running photos (bottom, good; top, less good, although the pix are funny in a cruel sort of way).

5. If the course is long, bring a bike or skateboard. But be careful w/ #6...

6. Bring a good camera if you want good pictures. Your point and shoot won't get it done.

If you do even half this stuff, you'll probably take a few good pictures. If you do all of it then you're guaranteed success. If you do none of it, then you're me, and you failed.

Great job. See you out there.

big day today! also: the Del Mar racetrack = serious face

Big day today. My good friend Sam is getting married.

I'm really glad for Sam & his wife-to-be, but i get a little sad on wedding days. Usually the downer of going to a wedding solo is tempered by the chance you might french one of the bridesmaids, but I already met the wedding party and that's not happening. Oh well. I'll just have to get old-school dance party USA, show the kids how I hold it down. My moves are legit.

------------------
went to the Del Mar racetrack a couple times this season to play the ponies. Nothing says summer like a day at the races, and nothing says a day at the races like a straw hat. and aviator glasses available at your local Rite-Aid ($12!).

why am I wearing a name-tag like a 4th grader? because if you get box seats at Del Mar you get a tag that tells the track staff where you're supposed to sit. handy if you have 12 beers and all the seats look alike. they can direct you back to your section. or you can just wander around. either way, really.

apple cuts price on iphone - early adopters mentally re-allocate $200

Nothing makes an early adopter feel like a chump more than a quick price cut. Apple is usually pretty good about it, because they like selling high-margin gadgets to people that aren't very price conscious. They definitely gave the early-adopters the shaft when they cut the price on their phone by 33% after just 10 weeks.

The internal memo probably read something like this:

Dear Die-Hard Apple Customer,
Thanks for waiting in line, making a huge fuss, running all over town, and paying extra.
Love,
Steve

guilty (of looking like a toad)

does this guy look guilty to you? He's the mayor of Passaic, New Jersey.

he's been arrested for corruption. Corruption, in city hall? In Jersey?

I think when they make a tv movie about it they can get him to play himself, except he might be too toadlike. they can get a handsome hollywood actor to play him instead.

dad practice

My weekend wasn't all hot weather and gayness. I mixed in some dad practice on labor day. Any time I do some babysitting or hang out with my friends' kids, that's dad practice.

i went to my friend's house to hang out w/ him and his family. He & the wife have a 6 month old baby, 2 yr old toddler. Fed the baby, played with the toddler. Cute levels were at an all-time high but I didn't get pictures. My friend didn't think pictures would have been cute, but I knew he was wrong b/c the Mrs said it was the cutest thing ever. Girls looove babies. Who knew?

Then i went to the family bbq and had dad practice w/ the older kids: 7 year old girl and 9 y/o boy. We had a blast. The girl loved me because I employed the same strategy I use in my adult relationships: call her princess and say yes to everything. Doesn't matter if they're 7 or 27, it works.

9 year-old boys are great because all they want to do is run in circles and talk about ultimate fighting. And basketball. And video games. That's a funny coincidence because that's pretty much all I want to do, too. (not sure what that says about me, but whatever.)

thanks for reading. super cute photo is stand-in for baby pictures.
thx, smithsonian.

the hipster olympics

I just got back from the Hipster Bachelor Party in Palm Springs, so i'm loving the hell out of the Hipster Olympics.

If you've already seen it, shame on you for not sending it to me sooner.

Thanks to With Leather for the tip. And double-super thanks to POYKPAC for making the video in the first place.

palm springs: it's not the heat, it's the homosexuality*

* it's a play on words, because people kept saying "it's not the heat, it's the humidity." and I'd think, umm, I'm not so sure.

Two things I underestimated about palm springs:
- how hot it would be
- how gay it would be

The heat was nearly intolerable. Not much you can do about that. Maybe go to the pool. There was a heat wave in Southern CA. It happens. Just sweat it out.

But the gay, that was kind of a bust. You know those handsome, chic guys you see on Queer Eye? It wasn't like that at all. It was the opposite. It was an aggressive, geeky, older gay crowd, and that's not what you're looking for when you're visiting for a bachelor party. Or ever.

On the upside, the hotel we stayed at was really nice. I would go back there; it's perfect for a romantic weekend w/ the girl.

---------------------------------------------
(photo credit CNN) ahh, Larry Craig. Not sure what kind of law you broke, or if you should have been arrested. It would be funny if it weren't so sad.