Big 80's

Some good stories coming when I get a few minutes, but in the short term here's a song from 1984. If you listen to it instead of watching the video it's strangely... good.

New: Bike photos

If you aren't a friend on lamebook or only happen on this space by accident, I posted some pics of my motorcycle in a new flickr set. Few examples here, many more on flickr. Thanks for looking.
You can see it here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/34402193@N06/sets/72157622915761109/

They call him King Kenny for a reason

This is video of Kenny Roberts Sr. riding his insanely fast motorcycle around the flat track in Indy to commemorate his famous victory there back in 1975. They outlawed this bike immediately after he won because it was both faster and lighter than the HD competition. (HD was a major sponsor of the series and could not compete with this bike.) Problem was it took brass balls to ride it. So much so that when other riders were given the opportunity to take it for a spin many of them passed, Ben Bostrom (who is a fucking badass and no mistake) a notable exception. Rumor was that Rossi himself was suited & booted but when he saw Kenny ride it he decided he would skip. (I mention this as both an example of Kenny's awesomeness and also as an example of how it takes more courage to know your limits than it does to just ignore them and die.)

If you don't get goosebumps when KR hammers the throttle at the start finish line to start his 'demo lap' then call a doctor to restart your cold, dead heart. Haven't ridden in a year? No problem. You used to kick ass for a living, after all.

Hat tip to Hell for Leather.

Moar Videoes

I'm on vacation, but if you want to kill some time here's some advertising you might enjoy.
My favorite is embedded above.

http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/commercial-of-the-decade.html

I heart typography*

This is just awesome.

http://ilovetypography.com/2009/12/08/graphic-masterpieces-of-yakov-g-chernikhov-the-collection-of-dmitry-y-chernikhov/


And all done on a drafting board. I almost bought a copy of the book just on general principle.








*Actually true.

I love the holidays*

This via my friend Scott.













*Not strictly true.

They don't make them like they used to

The Fat Kid (me) has been busy. Not busy with anything interesting, just, you know, CoD:MW2/gym/work busy. Definitely not socially busy (more on that shortly).

First things first, I enjoyed the hell out of this portfolio of machinery and machinists.

View it here:

http://portfolio.streetnine.com/machinery/?utm_source=20x200+List+-+Survey+A&utm_campaign=1433b3ad0c-Tuesday_Edition_Joseph_O_Holmes_200_Minute&utm_medium=email

It reminds me of my grandfather.

There was a time when you could find guys like this all over the country. They have largely been replaced by computers and, more tragically, 'moved offshore'. Now we give them their own television shows*, make them into obnoxious celebrities manque (even if they build appalling, unrideable junk). Barf.

There was a time (pre-Craftsman) when good hand tools were beyond the reach of the recreational mechanic. They were either wildly expensive, or they were junk. My grandfather was an accomplished mechanic and woodworker and he bought an antique wooden block plane in the 50s that was already 100 years old. He bought it from a furniture store that was using it as, and I am not kidding, a decoration. He immediately put it back into service, which is where I encountered it in the mid 80's. When he died my grandmother asked if I wanted any of his stuff; I identified two things: his dog tags from WWII, and the block plane. Those two things said more about him than anything else I could think of.

He would have looked right at home in the machinist pictures.

Sad ending: I got his dog tags, but not the block plane. My uncle took it in one of his many scavenging missions through the house before my grandfather died. (He couldn't take the dog tags because my grandfather had them on his key ring.) In the end it's good that someone wanted it. I think.



* I should point out that Jesse James has legit cred and it's maybe not fair to lump him with the Teutul clowns. His bikes are lame but the guy has real talent as a fabricator and builder. More importantly, he's not a loudmouth asshole, he's just an asshole. There's a difference.

Headfirst Down A Mountain

I mean really head first, not leaning forward on skis.

I wasn't sure how fast this guy was going. It looks fast, but how fast is it? Fast enough to catch a motorcyclist and a car, so probably faster than the posted speed. And when your face is 2 inches off the ground that must feel incredibly fast. And crashing headfirst into anything at any speed is going to kill you. Those concrete pylons (death, every single one of them) are flying by at a pretty good clip. So this is both insane and awesome.

http://www.gamaniak.com/video/3625

Rare, like Mr. Clean with hair

The 'war on drugs' is a joke. But this might actually work.

Less funny, but still fun: photo of the bike w/ me on it

I call the color "low profile orange". You can hardly notice it. It's like permanent stealth mode. Very subtle. Understated.

That's me gazing at the temps, waiting for the engine to warm up so I can ride away. I would have made a rude gesture at the photographer but I was too afraid of dropping the bike. They have a tendency to tip over when they're not moving.

I'll throw a couple more of these on flickr and fbook if I have time, so if you already saw them there than that's one more reason to stop wasting time on facebook.

Safety First

It's important to wear proper protection when you're on two wheels. That means helmet, back protector (under the jacket), jacket w/ some kind of armor in shoulders and elbows, sturdy riding pants with impact protection in the knees, riding boots, and gloves.

It's especially key when your fancy bike has flames on it. Grrrrrr!

(Hat tip to Spencer for letting me borrow his bike to cruise around the neighborhood. And for taking my picture.)

I know funny when I see it: WWTDD Dominates

No pictures again. I know you prefer the pictures so I'll get that sorted out this week. Don't want to tease you with the details but let's just say my motorcycle photographs well.

Sometimes people tell me I'm funny. That's a generous compliment, but the truth is I have a good memory and I know a lot of funny people. And I steal from them. Seriously. I do this all the time. The next original joke I tell will be the first one.

Also I read funny websites, articles, and books. One of my favorite websites is wwtdd.com. Tyler is borderline NSFW, so if you're curious, check it from home. The guy that writes Tyler is named Brendon (sp?), and I don't know much about him except he's a meathead ex-marine from Lousiana, I think he lives in LA, and he's the most consistently funny person on the web that I know of. My favorite recent example:

Yesterday there were a bunch of pictures (like this one) of Colin Farrell on vacation in Mexico. I didn’t download any of them of course, because if I wanted to see some short-fused drunk mick with his shirt off I would go to my family reunions.

You and me both, buddy. You and me both.

Apparently they don't know what time it is*

Nobody in the news room could help with this?

In case the link expires someday (and it will), here's the full correction text from The Washington Post:

A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number.

Fear of a Black Planet came out in 1990. NINETEEN HUNDRED AND NINETY. So it predates the terrorist attacks just a wee bit.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/02/AR2009120201455.html



*Yes that is a reference to Flava Flav's clock accoutrements. No joke too cheap over here, as per usual.

Forest Service Photos

More pretty pictures.
Not much to say about these except that I liked them.

http://www.acontinuouslean.com/2009/11/19/the-us-forest-service/

That might need some context

In case you missed it, Kitten Mittens was the funniest part of a (supposedly) funny show that I don't watch. INTERNET TO THE RESCUE.

This guy needs some kitten mittens

This cat makes too much noise.

Looks like it hurts

I thought this was cool.
Not sure how 'artistic' it is, but whatever. I'm not picky.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/gallery/2009/dec/02/photography?picture=356332431

Motherf*ckin' jujubi

This via the 'zine Hell for Leather, who currently leads the web in the category of two-guys-that-are-doing-shit-I-wish-I-were-doing-that-are-not-named-Walter-Iooss-Jr.

I don't know what 'jujubi' means but I know it's not cool to shoot your enemy in the back. And knowing is half the battle.