Which is your favorite? I am split between the Thing from Ethnic Food Aisle that May Not be Food and The Lone Pickle. I'm pretty sure I've tossed out The Lone Pickle from every fridge when I have moved house.
Thanks Alligator Sunglasses for putting this in wider distribution.
In cable internet billing news: they raised my rate so I decided to call them and figure out how to get it back to normal levels. After 15 minutes on hold (why make it easy to complain? that would be stupid) the first person I spoke with couldn't help me. No problem, I asked to speak to the next-level person. At which point they hung up on me. I love cable.
30 August 2013
29 August 2013
C is for Cookie
You know what's hot? Hot jamz. Deep house sucks except when it doesn't. Why hasn't anyone played this in one of my yoga classes yet? Come on, yoga instructor people!
It's possible they haven't played it because of the usual instructors I see in a given week one uses music only sparingly and another adds new songs to the playlist only under duress. And anything that makes his rotation that was released after Y2K is usually not good. He needs to stick with the classics. That leaves one guy, so I'll have to mention it to him. Note to self.
Anyway, hot deep house jam! There were a few identical versions of this mix on youtube and if you didn't know in advance that I would pick the one with the hot ginger then you don't know me at all. Like, not even kind of.
Title unrelated, except that I just ate too many Mother's Taffy cookies and now I feel sick. It's a weakness.
27 August 2013
Another video? Another video! Take it away Chief Kessler...
Long-time readers know that I spend my free time at the gym, at the yoga, or indulging in one of my hobbies, like shooting. With that in mind, I give you this amazing videos from a man that is/was a chief of police. Not just a law enforcement officer, but the senior LEO in his town, with 16 years on the force. However small that town was, this guy was the boss of the law there.
Doesn't exactly inspire confidence. Maybe the local burgh could invest in some training for the Chief? He could use it. (Related: In talking to several firearms instructors I learned that the people that most need training are the ones that are least likely to pursue it. It's a negative feedback loop of suck. Cops in general are not necessarily good at shooting - insufficient practice. They do tend to be very good at writing tickets.)
It's possible that the Chief lost his job after he posted a bunch of wacko videos on youtube. There's nothing wrong with wacko youtube videos in principle, but the chief of police probably shouldn't say stuff like, "Look at that libtard right there!" and then pretend to shoot them. It suggests an air of partiality that maybe doesn't qualify you for a job as a (supposedly) impartial public official. As it happens, it did garner him some negative attention:
Just when you thought it couldn't get any more dumb or contrived: here comes the local news reporter with a hot take. Two clowns locked in a deadly battle of dumbing down. Not sure who wins, but we all lose.
Doesn't exactly inspire confidence. Maybe the local burgh could invest in some training for the Chief? He could use it. (Related: In talking to several firearms instructors I learned that the people that most need training are the ones that are least likely to pursue it. It's a negative feedback loop of suck. Cops in general are not necessarily good at shooting - insufficient practice. They do tend to be very good at writing tickets.)
It's possible that the Chief lost his job after he posted a bunch of wacko videos on youtube. There's nothing wrong with wacko youtube videos in principle, but the chief of police probably shouldn't say stuff like, "Look at that libtard right there!" and then pretend to shoot them. It suggests an air of partiality that maybe doesn't qualify you for a job as a (supposedly) impartial public official. As it happens, it did garner him some negative attention:
Just when you thought it couldn't get any more dumb or contrived: here comes the local news reporter with a hot take. Two clowns locked in a deadly battle of dumbing down. Not sure who wins, but we all lose.
26 August 2013
First World Problems
This is old. Big Cheese sent it to me years ago now but I never got around to posting it. It's still funny.
The parking lot at Trader Ho's is usually every but as insane as Whole Foods, but with more people buying terrible wine. I don't shop at either store because: farmer's markets.
25 August 2013
Crossfit Talk (is Boring)
We had a test workout at on Friday. Fran. 21-15-9, thrusters and pull ups. Just imagine several minutes of hard work. More than 3, less than 10 (the cutoff is 10 minutes). Test workouts are a bitch and give me anxiety. Not sure if that's healthy, but whatever.
One thing that's interesting about Fran is that you are so anaerobic during the workout that people become visibly pale while it is happening, and they have to be reminded to breathe. It is not uncommon for participants to throw up and/or pass out. Fun? Not as such, no. I have heard the Tour de France described as like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer: it feels really good when you stop. Fran is like that except it doesn't take as long and I can lift weights over my head, unlike most pencil-necked cyclists. But I digress...
I usually omit my own workout results from this space because that stuff is about as interesting as your fantasy football team or NCAA bracket or that dream you had last night but... my Fran time was very disappointing. I know: not interesting. While I was
This investment in numbers is far and away the most bullshit thing about crossfit. I got sucked into the idea that my Fran time said something about me as a person. How lame is that? Really fucking lame. The time is only a data point, a signpost on the journey. What matters is effort. How hard did you work? If you gave it all you could then you have my respect, regardless of your time. What's true for others should also be true for me in re: effort / respect. Good news is I'll probably need reminding of this right around the time we have to do Fran again.
PS. Another Face to Face classic. Couldn't help myself.
What if I'm right and you were wrong?
Been shuffling through the back catalog in the iTouch. I hardly ever buy new music any more so most of the cuts range from old to 'damn you have that on your ipod? what?' Yeah it's like that. Some of the old songs I completely forgot I had but they are still great. Well great if you like Lagwagon, Blink 182, The Offspring (early records only - that later stuff is puke), Green Day (entire catalog), and Face to Face.
This one goes out to Spud and Ze Newbs because I know they know all the words by heart. And that is awesome. So is this song.
Throwback day
![]() |
| Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, John Belushi and Lorne Michaels in the Kitchen at Elaine's |
I'm sure you have your favorites, and I'll a link to mine later, but for now let's appreciate the power of the internet and the fact that I could find this superb photograph in .2 seconds.
It was in Rolling Stone some years ago, which is where I first saw it.
22 August 2013
Show Me the Data: MLB Past and Future Payrolls from Mr. Phil Roth
It's true I think baseball sucks to watch. But the economics of MLB payrolls are very interesting. Not sure why this is so, but here we are.
This was on Deadspin, but the direct link to Phil Roth's amazing blog post is as follows:
http://mrphilroth.com/2013/08/21/mlb-past-and-future-payrolls/
And the interactive itself:
http://mrphilroth.com/mlbpayrolls/
Prepare to get sucked into the rabbit hole. It's fascinating. If ever you wondered how bad a contract was, now you can see it with your own two eyes. Albert Pujols! ARod! Barry Fucking Zito! The Entire Dodgers Roster!
Special bonus: Joey Votto??!?!? What the hell?
Enjoy.
This was on Deadspin, but the direct link to Phil Roth's amazing blog post is as follows:
http://mrphilroth.com/2013/08/21/mlb-past-and-future-payrolls/
And the interactive itself:
http://mrphilroth.com/mlbpayrolls/
Prepare to get sucked into the rabbit hole. It's fascinating. If ever you wondered how bad a contract was, now you can see it with your own two eyes. Albert Pujols! ARod! Barry Fucking Zito! The Entire Dodgers Roster!
Special bonus: Joey Votto??!?!? What the hell?
Enjoy.
Tis Better to Give
More internet joy. I wonder if the guys that set up the original ARPANET had any idea that the primary result of their work would someday be infinite cat videos and free pr0n.
In summary: I love sloths.
If I could have one as a pet it would be the best. Except for the 'living bug carpet' part. And the part where they aren't very social. And the mess. And the expense. So, aside from that: the best.
In summary: I love sloths.
If I could have one as a pet it would be the best. Except for the 'living bug carpet' part. And the part where they aren't very social. And the mess. And the expense. So, aside from that: the best.
Very Important Things
Whatever have I been doing all this time? Well, not much worth reporting. It's not like I can attend share yoga classes with people afflicted with runaway flatulence all the time. Unless it's me that has the issues, in which case I would probably skip the class.
Anyway, here's a funny from Alligator Sunglasses / the internet.
Anyway, here's a funny from Alligator Sunglasses / the internet.
15 August 2013
Yoga Story Time!
I decided to branch out with my yoga classes, try something different at the local Costa Mesa Yogaworks. Mainly because I've been sick and can't get through one of my usual classes. So last week I tried Gentle Yoga. Liked the instructor well enough that I caught up with her again yesterday for Restorative Yoga. These classes are a huge departure from my usual Level 2/3 vinyasa efforts and I've enjoyed them very much.
The Gentle and Restorative classes draw many different types of student, but for the most part they are either older or out of shape or both. Exceptions are people like me that use it as a post-workout recovery aid, or people trying yoga that don't know what to expect.
Last night I got there a bit early, put down my mat. A woman put her mat down next to mine and we visited briefly. It turns out that she brought her friend and was hoping to practice adjacent to her. She didn't want to ask anyone to move because people were already quiet and settled. I don't care about that* so I moved and there was plenty of room for her companion. Well, the friend was intimidated and didn't want to make a fuss and move over two spots (silly but whatever) so we had some space for whomever showed up next.
That turned out to be a gentleman that was a piece of work. It wasn't that he kept flailing all over his mat, couldn't keep his props organized, accidentally bumped into me and the other woman. No, it wasn't all that, because that happens. It was the flatulence. The ongoing, consistent, regular flatulence. Every few minutes. All class long. Big farts, small farts, loud, quiet, you name it and this guy had you covered. At one point we were laying on our sides and he farted in the general direction of the woman for whom I had cleared out space. I snickered. She had it coming and I was glad it wasn't aimed at me. That lasted about 3 minutes because as soon as we turned over he farted in my general direction. This fucking guy.
Possible high (low?) point was when the instructor told us to relax and settle into the pose and the guy audibly farted, right on cue. It was amazing.
Should I congratulate the dude for getting into the spirit of the practice? Did he feel relaxed and restored? He definitely didn't seem to be holding anything back. Am I immature for mentioning it? I dunno. He probably wasn't doing it on purpose, and we all come to yoga from different places. Some understanding is in order. (That's some yoga real talk right there.) On the other hand: farting throughout a 90 minute class. So.
* It's great to take some quiet time before class but if you think that means you're exempt from making room then you better be wedged into a corner.
The Gentle and Restorative classes draw many different types of student, but for the most part they are either older or out of shape or both. Exceptions are people like me that use it as a post-workout recovery aid, or people trying yoga that don't know what to expect.
Last night I got there a bit early, put down my mat. A woman put her mat down next to mine and we visited briefly. It turns out that she brought her friend and was hoping to practice adjacent to her. She didn't want to ask anyone to move because people were already quiet and settled. I don't care about that* so I moved and there was plenty of room for her companion. Well, the friend was intimidated and didn't want to make a fuss and move over two spots (silly but whatever) so we had some space for whomever showed up next.
That turned out to be a gentleman that was a piece of work. It wasn't that he kept flailing all over his mat, couldn't keep his props organized, accidentally bumped into me and the other woman. No, it wasn't all that, because that happens. It was the flatulence. The ongoing, consistent, regular flatulence. Every few minutes. All class long. Big farts, small farts, loud, quiet, you name it and this guy had you covered. At one point we were laying on our sides and he farted in the general direction of the woman for whom I had cleared out space. I snickered. She had it coming and I was glad it wasn't aimed at me. That lasted about 3 minutes because as soon as we turned over he farted in my general direction. This fucking guy.
Possible high (low?) point was when the instructor told us to relax and settle into the pose and the guy audibly farted, right on cue. It was amazing.
Should I congratulate the dude for getting into the spirit of the practice? Did he feel relaxed and restored? He definitely didn't seem to be holding anything back. Am I immature for mentioning it? I dunno. He probably wasn't doing it on purpose, and we all come to yoga from different places. Some understanding is in order. (That's some yoga real talk right there.) On the other hand: farting throughout a 90 minute class. So.
* It's great to take some quiet time before class but if you think that means you're exempt from making room then you better be wedged into a corner.
14 August 2013
Orson Scott Card is Batshit Crazy
Orson Scott Card is in the news a lot lately because his best book has been turned into a blockbuster movie. The extra attention is shining a light on some of his more, ahh, unusual opinions. Slate has this piece; here's an excerpt:
[Slate writes] This thoughtful detour into racism is the apotheosis of the essay;
after this it gets a little mired in incoherence, with multiple
assurances that it's a "experiment in fictional thinking" but "sure
sounds plausible."
//
Uhhh, no. This nonsense doesn't even pass the most basic critical thinking. It's like Card makes stuff up for a living. (See what I did there?)
This is exactly the type of fantasy that old fat white guys play out in their head when they spend a small fortune on tactical equipment and get their guns ready for the end of the world. There will be no new national police force made of young, out-of-work urban men. (Unless you count the US Armed Forces, which is already mostly comprised of young, out-of-work men.)
In summary: Mormonism is a joke. And old white guys are getting a raw deal. They're mad as hell and not going to take it any more!
[Card writes] Where will he [Obama] get his "national police"? The NaPo will be recruited from "young out-of-work urban men" and it will be hailed as a cure for the economic malaise of the inner cities.
In other words, Obama will put a thin veneer of training and military structure on urban gangs, and send them out to channel their violence against Obama's enemies.
Instead of doing drive-by shootings in their own neighborhoods, these young thugs will do beatings and murders of people "trying to escape" -- people who all seem to be leaders and members of groups that oppose Obama.
//
Uhhh, no. This nonsense doesn't even pass the most basic critical thinking. It's like Card makes stuff up for a living. (See what I did there?)
This is exactly the type of fantasy that old fat white guys play out in their head when they spend a small fortune on tactical equipment and get their guns ready for the end of the world. There will be no new national police force made of young, out-of-work urban men. (Unless you count the US Armed Forces, which is already mostly comprised of young, out-of-work men.)
In summary: Mormonism is a joke. And old white guys are getting a raw deal. They're mad as hell and not going to take it any more!
11 August 2013
It's Legal: Property Forfeiture (Did I spell that right?)
I didn't weigh in on the Trayvon Martin shooting and Zimmerman trial because I read the reports early on and I knew that Zimmerman would not be convicted of the crimes of which he was accused. He didn't break the law.
Yes, he was grossly unqualified for the task at hand. Yes, he was inept. Yes, he had a history of being a complete fucking moron and dialing 911 repeatedly for no good reason. Yes, he really wanted to be a police officer.
Most importantly: Yes, he instigated a conflict with a young man and then shot him dead, but that's not illegal in Florida. The cops knew it, and the DA knew it when he read the report. It was all perfectly legal, or at least set up in such a way that it would be impossible to prove it was illegal, which: close enough.
The good news is that, depending on where you live, the profit motive has infected law enforcement and if you live in a state that has generous civil forfeiture laws the state can take whatever they want and fuck you if you don't like it. Guilty, innocent, doesn't matter. Don't believe me? It's worse than you imagine:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2013/08/12/130812fa_fact_stillman?currentPage=all
I read through and hoped for a happy ending but there isn't one. Sooo, that's something.
For search purposes, the article is by Sarah Stillman. She does some interesting work here too:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/comment/2013/08/swat-team-nation.html?intcid=obnetwork
I'll come back to some of this later on.
Yes, he was grossly unqualified for the task at hand. Yes, he was inept. Yes, he had a history of being a complete fucking moron and dialing 911 repeatedly for no good reason. Yes, he really wanted to be a police officer.
Most importantly: Yes, he instigated a conflict with a young man and then shot him dead, but that's not illegal in Florida. The cops knew it, and the DA knew it when he read the report. It was all perfectly legal, or at least set up in such a way that it would be impossible to prove it was illegal, which: close enough.
The good news is that, depending on where you live, the profit motive has infected law enforcement and if you live in a state that has generous civil forfeiture laws the state can take whatever they want and fuck you if you don't like it. Guilty, innocent, doesn't matter. Don't believe me? It's worse than you imagine:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2013/08/12/130812fa_fact_stillman?currentPage=all
I read through and hoped for a happy ending but there isn't one. Sooo, that's something.
For search purposes, the article is by Sarah Stillman. She does some interesting work here too:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/comment/2013/08/swat-team-nation.html?intcid=obnetwork
I'll come back to some of this later on.
Duke Dumont remixes Falling by HAIM
I love this remix. I think I already put it on the blog but it didn't turn up in a search so who knows? This is the jam. Wore it out a couple months ago, forgot about it, and now I'm wearing it out all over again.
06 August 2013
Get Off Your High Horse: Alex Rodriguez and Performance Enhancing Drugs
I've been following the Alex Rodriguez saga much more closely than actual baseball. Mostly because baseball is boring and unless the Giants make the playoffs the games put me to sleep 100% of the time.
All the sanctimonious judgment being tossed around in re: ARod is virtually identical to the responses and reactions to Barry Bonds when he was still playing. Bonds ended up finishing his contract but while he was plenty good enough to help a team no one picked him up because of the negative publicity. He has since retired from baseball.
I don't care if Rodriguez took drugs. He's an adult making adult decisions. I don't care if he lied about it to self-righteous crusaders. You shouldn't either. Here's why.
Where are We?
At the time of this writing that toad Selig has banned Rodriguez for 211 games; Rodriguez is appealing the ban. According to reports, Selig wanted to ban him permanently. Bear in mind that Rodriguez has never failed a drug test (still hasn't), and that his main transgressions to this point are a) 'obstructing' the MLB investigation, b) lying to investigators, c) taking testosterone and HGH, and (especially) d) being ARod.The investigators to whom Rodriguez lied obtained their 'damning' evidence against him by suing the person that provided him with the drugs. The pseudo-doctor was broke and living on someone's couch so he had little choice (and much incentive) to give MLB everything they wanted. They have had the knives out for Rodriguez for years, and he knows it.
Rodriguez contends his ban is related to the massive amount of money that baseball's richest and most profitable team owes him over the next couple years. If he is banned he doesn't get paid. I'm not sure that's part of it, mainly because Selig is your ancient, tone-deaf, out of touch great-uncle that people still let drive the car because he throws a tantrum when you take his keys away.
How Did We Get Here? Or: Selig is a Hypocritical Asshole
So why is Selig swinging for the fences now?* The Toad is trying to burnish his legacy after presiding over the steroid era, culminating in 1998 when McGwire and Sosa hit gobs of home runs and made Barry Bonds, a man on the far side of reasonable at the best of times, so jealous that he vowed to start taking drugs too. Bonds would show those clowns what it looked like when a truly great ballplayer used every means at his disposal to reach his full potential. His 2000-2004 numbers belong in a video game.Selig has to deal with that, and he wants to be known as the guy that 'cleaned up' baseball instead of the guy that let steroids run rampant and rewrite the record books.
So What?
What really gets up my nose is that's what ballplayers have been doing for generations: doing everything they can to be the best that they can. The financial incentives are so great that they would be crazy not to. (Rodriguez has the richest contract in major league baseball.) So the new guys have advantages that the legends didn't have. Babe Ruth didn't have the drugs and training they have today, but Bonds had to play against anyone good enough, not anyone good enough that was also white. Plus: relief pitchers.Also getting up my nose is the fact that baseball coats itself in saccharine and treacle and serves itself up as a some kind of holy sacrament. Fuck that. Baseball has a long history of drug use, drug abuse, institutionalized racism sanctioned at the highest levels (fuck you very much, K.M. Landis!), and cheating of any and all types. All the preaching and righteousness ignores this sordid history.
'Performance Enhancing' Drug: What the Fuck Does That Even Mean? (Hint: Nothing)
Replacing a blown tendon in your elbow with a tendon from a cadaver: perfectly legal. Taking enough Advil to blow out your kidneys: also legal. Greenies:This makes no sense. MLB is drawing an arbitrary, hypocritical line and enforcing it like the Spanish Inquisition. Any player or writer that raises a peep about ARod being 'dirty' is a clown if he's ever taken so much as an Excedrin for hangover or had a cup of coffee before a game or a deadline. There's no such thing as 'clean' or 'dirty'; the rules are a joke. Once you allow a player to take anything then it's all fair game. Losing your mind over what drugs some guy took is shortsighted and dumb.
On that note, all the baseball writers going on and on about what a phony Rodriguez is, and how he's a bad guy, and he can't be trusted, and what an awful person he is, and how he violated the sanctity of the game: please for the love of Ty Cobb put a sock in it already.
Rules to Live By (or: Sports Writers are Bitter Because They're Ugly and the Pay Sucks**)
Stop judging professional athletes that use drugs. Most articles and comments about ARod (and any player that is accused of using drugs) is rife with value judgment and criticisms. Enough. Hate the guy for being a douche if that's your thing, but hating him because he tried to be good at his job is just dumb. So fucking dumb.If you believe in the sanctity of Baseball with a capital B then you are an idiot. There is nothing sacred about baseball. It is a business. Some employees go about their business differently than others, but most of them want to maximize their earning potential. Some of them are awful people, some are great, and most fall somewhere in the middle. That's because they're people, and people are like that. About which...
If you are over the age of 8 and you thought that baseball players were trustworthy or genuine instead of, you know, actual people with all their inherent flaws and qualities, then you deserve to be disappointed when you find out the truth. (See: Armstrong, Lance) Welcome to adulthood. Also: you are an idiot.
Where Does that Leave Us?
Boo ARod all you like. Drugs or no drugs, boos or cheers: He will still be way better at baseball than all but a handful of people that have ever played***. If that bothers you: tough shit.*Sorry couldn't help it.
** Quoted from Matt Ufford; he wrote it years ago.
*** Actually true.
EPL on NBC
Slow week for blog posts. Don't have anything good to share.
That video happened, and it is pretty good. Apparently NBC is broadcasting all 380 EPL games on one of their many network or cable channels. It almost makes me want to get network television again. Almost.
I put a deposit down on the Xbone. Long-time readers will remember that I missed out on the xbox 360 at launch and had to wait several months to get my hands on one. I ended up getting it by calling the local Best Buy(s) every day for weeks. I would call when the FedEx truck arrived to find out if they had any in stock.
Finally I got a good lead and was That Asshole on the Freeway driving over to BB, followed by an even more dangerous turn as That Asshole in the Parking Lot. I collected the xbox and a dirty look from a mom with a stroller because she thought her kid was in danger.*
Anyway, the goal is to avoid that nonsense and have the device waiting for me at Fry's when I go to pick it up. Whether or not that happens remains to be seen. But at least I have someone to bitch at if they don't come through.
* Total bullshit. I saw them the whole time. I wasn't stopping, but I saw them.
01 August 2013
The People Have Spoken! (part n+1)
Sweet Katie also makes generous use of someone's HBOgo account to view premium programming at a discount:
We use an HBOgo account too, to watch True Blood and I'm eternally grateful! What do you think of the season so far??
//
It's the only way. Although I read that fully 95% of people still get their TV via a cable or satellite provider, so their revenue stream is secure for now. And it's very good for me because without my cable-paying friends I would be utterly lost.
As for the series so far: I'm entertained. They seem to be moving away from the weakest storylines (anything to do with the werewolves is pointless filler), and the campyness of the series as a whole is good. In general I think the series is best when the strongest characters play larger roles. That means more Jason Stackhouse, Eric Northman, Bill Compton, Jessica and Lafayette. The rest of the cast doesn't do much for me. I miss Russell Edgington. He was fantastic.
From a comment I made about the poster of the video onpermaboners priapism about religion being incompatible with critical thinking, this from John:
Christianity is completely compatible with science and 'critical thinking' . In fact, intellectually honest critical thinkers must eventually reach Christianity and the Bible as a rational conclusion!
[see rtb.org for the science end and sfaw.org for the practical/societal explanations]
//
Ahhh, I think we're going to have to agree to disagree. Thinking critically and being 'intellectually honest' does not logically lead to "hey there's an all powerful being in the universe and he created everything in seven days including you, and you look just like him because you are created in 'his' image because it says so in this book right here and also the gays can't get married and don't masturbate."
Instead, thinking critically means rejecting the notion that "GAYS CANNOT GET MARRIED IT'S A SIN IN THE EYES OF THE LORD" because you're not a bigoted simpleton and you recognize a fairy tale when you hear one.
Why don't more people believe in Santa Claus? That guy shows up once a year like clockwork. Shit.
We use an HBOgo account too, to watch True Blood and I'm eternally grateful! What do you think of the season so far??
//
It's the only way. Although I read that fully 95% of people still get their TV via a cable or satellite provider, so their revenue stream is secure for now. And it's very good for me because without my cable-paying friends I would be utterly lost.
As for the series so far: I'm entertained. They seem to be moving away from the weakest storylines (anything to do with the werewolves is pointless filler), and the campyness of the series as a whole is good. In general I think the series is best when the strongest characters play larger roles. That means more Jason Stackhouse, Eric Northman, Bill Compton, Jessica and Lafayette. The rest of the cast doesn't do much for me. I miss Russell Edgington. He was fantastic.
From a comment I made about the poster of the video on
Christianity is completely compatible with science and 'critical thinking' . In fact, intellectually honest critical thinkers must eventually reach Christianity and the Bible as a rational conclusion!
[see rtb.org for the science end and sfaw.org for the practical/societal explanations]
//
Ahhh, I think we're going to have to agree to disagree. Thinking critically and being 'intellectually honest' does not logically lead to "hey there's an all powerful being in the universe and he created everything in seven days including you, and you look just like him because you are created in 'his' image because it says so in this book right here and also the gays can't get married and don't masturbate."
Instead, thinking critically means rejecting the notion that "GAYS CANNOT GET MARRIED IT'S A SIN IN THE EYES OF THE LORD" because you're not a bigoted simpleton and you recognize a fairy tale when you hear one.
Why don't more people believe in Santa Claus? That guy shows up once a year like clockwork. Shit.
Beware the Spider
This from Smarter Every Day, a good source of entertaining science. He's been on a hot streak lately as his Firing an AK-47 Under Water videos are fanstastic.
Side note: the host is devoutly religious (closes his videos with references to scripture, and the different words for love endorsement at the end of the penis video is a popular theme in Christian teachings), which I find difficult to reconcile with a sincere devotion to science and critical thinking. But it works for him.
Back on topic: Am I too mature to laugh at a Russian man with a heavy Russian-Alabama accent talking about priapism and penile implants? No. No I am not.*
*So excited to use the DICK JOKES ARE THE BEST tag again.
26 July 2013
High Security
List of passwords for accounts that I struggle to remember or just leave logged in all the time because I check them regularly:
1. Gmail (this is the one where the rest get reset when I click 'Forgot your password?')
2. Bank
3. Cable bill
4. Power bill
5. Phone bill
6. Numerous hyperspecific special interest forums, e.g.
7. Main work login
8. Work web shit
9. Other work web shit (2 layers of protection)
10. Rent payment info
11. NFLX
12. Savings Bank
13. Work payroll account
14. Work travel request
15. Work expenses
16. Amazon
17. Zappos
18. Backup personal email accounts (x3)
19. Xbox Live
20. Credit Card account
21. iTunes
Of the above 20+ passwords I can think of maybe four offhand. But there's another list that shows my priorities are in the proper order.
SUPER IMPORTANT PASSWORDS that I remember under any and all circumstances:
1. Friends HBOGo account
2. My local wireless network
So I might not have ready access to any of the shit from the first list, but I can definitely watch True Blood as soon as the latest episode is available.
1. Gmail (this is the one where the rest get reset when I click 'Forgot your password?')
2. Bank
3. Cable bill
4. Power bill
5. Phone bill
6. Numerous hyperspecific special interest forums, e.g.
7. Main work login
8. Work web shit
9. Other work web shit (2 layers of protection)
10. Rent payment info
11. NFLX
12. Savings Bank
13. Work payroll account
14. Work travel request
15. Work expenses
16. Amazon
17. Zappos
18. Backup personal email accounts (x3)
19. Xbox Live
20. Credit Card account
21. iTunes
Of the above 20+ passwords I can think of maybe four offhand. But there's another list that shows my priorities are in the proper order.
SUPER IMPORTANT PASSWORDS that I remember under any and all circumstances:
1. Friends HBOGo account
2. My local wireless network
So I might not have ready access to any of the shit from the first list, but I can definitely watch True Blood as soon as the latest episode is available.
24 July 2013
Muppet Time
Just an amazing picture of Beaker I found on the internet. Beaker is my favorite Muppet. In order:
1. Beaker
2. Cookie Monster
3. Swedish Chef
4. Kermit
5. (Tie) Dr. Honeydew and Animal
Weekend activities were dampened somewhat when I went out to my car on Sunday morning and discovered that my passenger side mirror was smashed off. Thanks to whatever drunken fuckwit took the opportunity to make me spend $250 getting it fixed. That's what I get for living in a shitty neighborhood. Although in November of 2011 someone did a hit and run on my car in a very, very expensive neighborhood. Scumbags come in all tax brackets.
1. Beaker
2. Cookie Monster
3. Swedish Chef
4. Kermit
5. (Tie) Dr. Honeydew and Animal
Weekend activities were dampened somewhat when I went out to my car on Sunday morning and discovered that my passenger side mirror was smashed off. Thanks to whatever drunken fuckwit took the opportunity to make me spend $250 getting it fixed. That's what I get for living in a shitty neighborhood. Although in November of 2011 someone did a hit and run on my car in a very, very expensive neighborhood. Scumbags come in all tax brackets.
19 July 2013
It's in the Argument
This was on Alligator Sunglasses as "The Best GIF Ever".
It's the top 5, easy. I dare you not to smile.
It's the top 5, easy. I dare you not to smile.
This and That
Fewer updates this week because my back has been bothering me so I switched to a standing desk. Best thing is to switch back and forth from sitting to standing throughout the day but my current setup doesn't make that very easy. It's a work in progress. As a result I'm either working standing or giving the wheels a short break. Come evenings I'm not much keen on more computer time.
Anyway, this song is old. And this version of the song is old, but it's new to me. Apparently the public's appetite for choir covers of pop songs is infinite, because these girls are a cottage industry. But still: it's a great cover.
Fun activity planned for this weekend. More on that early next week.
16 July 2013
What are you reading?
We always want more, he thought, we always take our past successes for granted and assume they but point the way to future triumphs. But the universe does not have our own best interests at heart, and to assume for a moment that it does, ever did or ever might is to make the most calamitous and hubristic of mistakes.
That's from Look to Windward by Iain M. Banks, published in 2000. It's a theme that comes up often in his work, but the sentences above summarize it explicitly.
He wrote the first Culture novel in the late 80's and they have held up very well since then. SciFi books often don't. The Culture novels make for very good light reading - they are broad in scope and populated with a wonderfully well imagined group of people/places/things. The stories can be quite violent, but: the universe is a cruel and unforgiving place.
Banks isn't writing any more. He announced that he had gall bladder cancer on 3 April 2013, and died on 9 June 2013. He was 59.
That's from Look to Windward by Iain M. Banks, published in 2000. It's a theme that comes up often in his work, but the sentences above summarize it explicitly.
He wrote the first Culture novel in the late 80's and they have held up very well since then. SciFi books often don't. The Culture novels make for very good light reading - they are broad in scope and populated with a wonderfully well imagined group of people/places/things. The stories can be quite violent, but: the universe is a cruel and unforgiving place.
Banks isn't writing any more. He announced that he had gall bladder cancer on 3 April 2013, and died on 9 June 2013. He was 59.
11 July 2013
Anniversaries
I wrote a long, self-indulgent, navel-gazing post but spiked it. Plenty accurate but it didn't make for very fun reading. Not even for me, and I love the sound of my own words.
Here's the short version: I said goodbye to Reese six months ago today. I have missed her every day since then.
Here's the short version: I said goodbye to Reese six months ago today. I have missed her every day since then.
08 July 2013
Flow Like Water
No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.
-Heraclitus
Truth? Truth.
More on this later in the week.
-Heraclitus
Truth? Truth.
More on this later in the week.
Summer Jamz
This song is so new I'm not even sure it's out yet. The version posted here was lifted from a live set posted on soundcloud a couple weeks ago. It probably won't be as big a smash as Sovereign Light Cafe (a favorite), but it's a good summer jam.
Okay then.
03 July 2013
IT'S COOL I GOT THIS
HAI!
Ahh, hello. Whatcha doin?
NUFFIN.
How's the room in the front?
BIT CRAMPED, SINCE YOU ASKED.
Any snacks?
NONE SO FAR.
Try the back?
GOOD IDEA.
Here I'll get the door.
IT'S OKAY I GOT IT.
I see...
NO SNACKS BACK HERE. BIT MORE ROOMY THOUGH.
Ahh...
KTHXBAI!!
/hat tip to Deadspin
02 July 2013
Let's Make Some Noise
Sometimes I try and watch a tv show and the gun handling is so bad that I can't deal and have to turn it off. This happened most recently with Wallander, an otherwise fairly well done detective show available for streaming on your local Netflix.
The main character draws his gun just about every episode (which is itself unusual/ridiculous for a cop, but whatever) and he makes a complete hash of it every... single... time. It's down to the actor not knowing dick about guns. I can make allowances at first but after three or four times it's very distracting. Sometimes the grip will change from one camera shot to the next. Continuity fail. And, after a few episodes (and seasons, which amounts to years of real life time) it is willful ignorance on the part of the actor. It's not super hard to get it right - it only takes 10 minutes to learn a proper grip. Yeah it might take some additional practice time but that's your job so figure it out.
No doubt the guy in the video above feels the same way every time he watches a sword fight on Game of Thrones. Bummer for him. I know they're super theatrical and bullshit but usually the fights are brief enough you can get back to intrigue.
My favorite fight choreography is the big two handed overhead smash followed by a slice to the midsection. Works every time! Apparently the sidestep and lunge hasn't made any headway in Westeros fencing schools. Neither has the ability to link a parry (i.e. such as may be required to deflect a two-handed overhead smash) to an attack. For f's sake. Whoever figures it out will have an easy path to the Iron Throne.
Next time you watch GoT notice how much noise there is every time they draw swords. Then imagine it as a bunch of very quiet rattles and subtle whispers. How would you know that there's about to be a fight without the aural cues? CHIIIING!
30 June 2013
The People Have Spoken: Gun Violence Report
In the post about Gun Facts from a couple days ago Reader Kelly asks:
The report is easy enough to follow that I recommend anyone with a passing interest give it a read or at least a quick scan. The subject is near and dear to my (cold/dead/empty) heart so I'll give it a thorough review.
You can download your own copy if you give the National Academy of Sciences your email address or view a shared version on google drive.
-
Were there any stats for accidental death by guns?
The report is easy enough to follow that I recommend anyone with a passing interest give it a read or at least a quick scan. The subject is near and dear to my (cold/dead/empty) heart so I'll give it a thorough review.
You can download your own copy if you give the National Academy of Sciences your email address or view a shared version on google drive.
Let's Do This: Brioche and Challah Bread Pudding
Long-time readers know that I like to make (and eat) desserts. I indulge this hobby by taking the occasional baking class down at the local fancy baking place. Super fun. So far I've taken Basic Breads, Biscuits and Scones, and most recently, How to Make Challah and Brioche and Related Breads and Rolls that are Made from Challah and Brioche Doughs.*
I tried to take a Chocolate Breads class for the past three months but it's only offered once a month and no one enrolled besides me. At any point. In three months. Apparently I'm the only person in the greater Newport Beach area that likes to do cool shit. Since Chocolate Breads probably won't happen until I get enough people to sign up (which I'm working on) I opted to take what I could get.
The class was awesome. Great instructor, learned a ton, made a big pile of enormous breadstuffs. Like, a big pile: kaiser rolls, challah, brioche cinnamon roll, brioche bun thing, and a
take-home bundle of challah dough which I threw away because ugh, so
much bread. Fresh made from scratch means that it starts to go stale right away. Great for eating, not so great for storing.
Fortunately, stale bread is a key ingredient in one of my all-time favorite desserts: bread pudding. I love ice cream, custards (e.g. pies), puddings of all types, egg nog, french toast (bread pudding for breakfast!), arroz con leche (a particular favorite), chocolate milk, whatever you can put milk, sugar and eggs in and serve hot, cold, or room temperature: I'll eat it. And probably quite a lot of it, if we're being honest. So, big pile of rapidly-becoming-stale ultra premium handmade breads/rolls and a few free minutes the afternoon - what to do?
Holy shit let's get this party started! First things first, always put on some pumping jams to keep you company while you're cooking. Turn that shit up and get ready to get down. Then assemble your ingredients.
The fun thing about bread pudding is that you just mix up your ratio of milk/cream and eggs with your other stuff and put it all in a bowl. It's super easy. I opted to add golden raisins and some chocolate chips to mine. I felt like they balanced out the egg, milk and cream quite nicely. Mix all that up with bread that already has so much butter in it that if you ever made it you would never, ever eat it ever again and leave it sit for a few hours. Then you slop it into a casserole pan and put it in the oven for a good long while.
Bake it up for a really long time and eventually you get this:
Et voila! That's a big tub of delicious right there.
As per usual with these things I'll package it up and give most of it away tomorrow. I can't have it in the house. There's no one around to restart my heart when my aorta clogs. It's not shippable or I would be boxing it up for y'all tonight.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to gomake myself sick eat some dessert.
* Possibly not the actual class title.
I tried to take a Chocolate Breads class for the past three months but it's only offered once a month and no one enrolled besides me. At any point. In three months. Apparently I'm the only person in the greater Newport Beach area that likes to do cool shit. Since Chocolate Breads probably won't happen until I get enough people to sign up (which I'm working on) I opted to take what I could get.
![]() |
| How can I make this more fattening? |
Fortunately, stale bread is a key ingredient in one of my all-time favorite desserts: bread pudding. I love ice cream, custards (e.g. pies), puddings of all types, egg nog, french toast (bread pudding for breakfast!), arroz con leche (a particular favorite), chocolate milk, whatever you can put milk, sugar and eggs in and serve hot, cold, or room temperature: I'll eat it. And probably quite a lot of it, if we're being honest. So, big pile of rapidly-becoming-stale ultra premium handmade breads/rolls and a few free minutes the afternoon - what to do?
Holy shit let's get this party started! First things first, always put on some pumping jams to keep you company while you're cooking. Turn that shit up and get ready to get down. Then assemble your ingredients.
![]() |
| I Could Eat This With A Spoon; Instead I Used My Hands |
Bake it up for a really long time and eventually you get this:
![]() |
| Sent this photo to my Mom and she said, "Don't make yourself sick." |
Et voila! That's a big tub of delicious right there.
As per usual with these things I'll package it up and give most of it away tomorrow. I can't have it in the house. There's no one around to restart my heart when my aorta clogs. It's not shippable or I would be boxing it up for y'all tonight.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go
* Possibly not the actual class title.
25 June 2013
The Facts: Gun Data
The following is cribbed direct from Slate, so I'm probably in violation of their copyright, but we're not making any money over here so hopefully they won't mind. Go there and view the full post with all the advertising for more information.
My main beef with the data is that they include suicides in their findings of 'gun violence', which skews the numbers quite dramatically. Aside from that I don't disagree with the conclusions outlined by Mr. Saletan below. I'll dig into the report more carefully later on (look forward to that), but this is a decent summary.
-----------------------------------
The gun control debate is certainly worth reopening. But if we’re going to reopen it, let’s not just rethink the politics. Let’s take another look at the facts. Earlier this year, President Obama ordered the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to assess the existing research on gun violence and recommend future studies. That report, prepared by the Institute of Medicine and the National Research Council, is now complete. Its findings won’t entirely please the Obama administration or the NRA, but all of us should consider them. Here’s a list of the 10 most salient or surprising takeaways
1. The United States has an indisputable gun violence problem. According to the report, “the U.S. rate of firearm-related homicide is higher than that of any other industrialized country: 19.5 times higher than the rates in other high-income countries.”
2. Most indices of crime and gun violence are getting better, not worse. “Overall crime rates have declined in the past decade, and violent crimes, including homicides specifically, have declined in the past 5 years,” the report notes. “Between 2005 and 2010, the percentage of firearm-related violent victimizations remained generally stable.” Meanwhile, “firearm-related death rates for youth ages 15 to 19 declined from 1994 to 2009.” Accidents are down, too: “Unintentional firearm-related deaths have steadily declined during the past century. The number of unintentional deaths due to firearm-related incidents accounted for less than 1 percent of all unintentional fatalities in 2010.”
3. We have 300 million firearms, but only 100 million are handguns. According to the report, “In 2007, one estimate placed the total number of firearms in the country at 294 million: ‘106 million handguns, 105 million rifles, and 83 million shotguns.’ ” This translates to nearly nine guns for every 10 people, a per capita ownership rate nearly 50 percent higher than the next most armed country. But American gun ownership is concentrated, not universal: In a December 2012 Gallup poll, “43 percent of those surveyed reported having a gun in the home.”
4. Handguns are the problem. Despite being outnumbered by long guns, “Handguns are used in more than 87 percent of violent crimes,” the report notes. In 2011, “handguns comprised 72.5 percent of the firearms used in murder and non-negligent manslaughter incidents.” Why do criminals prefer handguns? One reason, according to surveys of felons, is that they’re “easily concealable.”
5. Mass shootings aren’t the problem. “The number of public mass shootings of the type that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary School accounted for a very small fraction of all firearm-related deaths,” says the report. “Since 1983 there have been 78 events in which 4 or more individuals were killed by a single perpetrator in 1 day in the United States, resulting in 547 victims and 476 injured persons.” Compare that with the 335,000 gun deaths between 2000 and 2010 alone.
6. Gun suicide is a bigger killer than gun homicide. From 2000 to 2010, “firearm-related suicides significantly outnumbered homicides for all age groups, annually accounting for 61 percent of the more than 335,600 people who died from firearm-related violence in the United States,” says the report. Firearm sales are often a warning: Two studies found that “a small but significant fraction of gun suicides are committed within days to weeks after the purchase of a handgun, and both also indicate that gun purchasers have an elevated risk of suicide for many years after the purchase of the gun.”
7. Guns are used for self-defense often and effectively. “Almost all national survey estimates indicate that defensive gun uses by victims are at least as common as offensive uses by criminals, with estimates of annual uses ranging from about 500,000 to more than 3 million per year … in the context of about 300,000 violent crimes involving firearms in 2008,” says the report. The three million figure is probably high, “based on an extrapolation from a small number of responses taken from more than 19 national surveys.” But a much lower estimate of 108,000 also seems fishy, “because respondents were not asked specifically about defensive gun use.” Furthermore, “Studies that directly assessed the effect of actual defensive uses of guns (i.e., incidents in which a gun was 'used' by the crime victim in the sense of attacking or threatening an offender) have found consistently lower injury rates among gun-using crime victims compared with victims who used other self-protective strategies.”
8. Carrying guns for self-defense is an arms race. The prevalence of firearm violence near “drug markets … could be a consequence of drug dealers carrying guns for self-defense against thieves or other adversaries who are likely to be armed,” says the report. In these communities, “individuals not involved in the drug markets have similar incentives for possessing guns.” According to a Pew Foundation report, “the vast majority of gun owners say that having a gun makes them feel safer. And far more today than in 1999 cite protection—rather than hunting or other activities—as the major reason for why they own guns.”
9. Denying guns to people under restraining orders saves lives. “Two-thirds of homicides of ex- and current spouses were committed [with] firearms,” the report observes. “In locations where individuals under restraining orders to stay away from current or ex-partners are prohibited from access to firearms, female partner homicide is reduced by 7 percent.”
10. It isn’t true that most gun acquisitions by criminals can be blamed on a few bad dealers. The report concedes that in 1998, “1,020 of 83,272 federally licensed retailers (1.2 percent) accounted for 57.4 percent of all guns traced by the ATF.” However, “Gun sales are also relatively concentrated; approximately 15 percent of retailers request 80 percent of background checks on gun buyers conducted by the National Instant Criminal Background Check System.” Researchers have found that “the share of crime gun traces attributed to these few dealers only slightly exceeded their share of handgun sales, which are almost equally concentrated among a few dealers.” Volume, not laxity, drives the number of ill-fated sales.
REPEAT OFFENDER: Feel the Love by Rudimental feat. John Newman
Bringing this back.
No reason, except it's special to me and I wanted to move that other post off the top of the page.
If you want a new/old song from the Library o' Cheese, then try this.
24 June 2013
Handstands are Good for You
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| 100% Paleo, 10% of the Time |
Using the mat is kind of cheat-y; usually the turf and my afro are advantage enough.
Shirts are optional. So is the sun, apparently, because the whiteboard and I share a remarkably similar hue.
23 June 2013
SRV: Life by the Drop
First heard this song what feels like a lifetime ago. Revisited it today and it's still great. It's a departure from recent musical posts, but whatever. Maybe the people that can't stand the dance jamz will dig on this. Or at least not hate it as much.
SRV was mostly known as a guitar player but his singing in this is what makes it so good. Two and a half minutes of genius.
See you out there.
20 June 2013
Back to Back Bears
You know what's better than an AR-15? An AR-15 with Pedobear on the rail. It's almost as good as the guy that wrote "No Pew" next to where it says SAFE, and "PEW PEW PEW" where it says FIRE.
I laughed.
Bonus: iron sights. Keeping it real!
I laughed.
Bonus: iron sights. Keeping it real!
17 June 2013
Whatcha doin up there?
Hey, whatcha' doin? Got any snacks?
No, it's cool I'll come up. No, really, I don't mind.
HERE I COME!!!!
No snacks?? You sure? Oh.
KTHXBAI!!!!111!!!!
The People Have Spoken!
Feedback on the feedback...
Sorry for the short window on cookies. I haven't shipped cookies in a long time, mostly because it's an expensive, time-consuming pain in the ass. It's fun to make them and the dough is delicious but it doesn't take long for them to become an albatross. It'll be a while before I do it again, mainly because I need to get back on the program after the binge. I feel fat, is what I mean. But cookies are soooo gooood.
Speaking of fat, you know what's worse than a bloated whale? A bloated sunburned whale. My fresh to death sunburn was annoying shortly after it happened but it has blossomed into a sleep-interrupting misery. It doesn't look like much but wow is it uncomfortable. Enh, it looks bad but I would expect it to look worse given how annoying/painful it is. Let's go eat some ibuprofen! Is that funny? Only if it is happening to someone else.
Sorry for the short window on cookies. I haven't shipped cookies in a long time, mostly because it's an expensive, time-consuming pain in the ass. It's fun to make them and the dough is delicious but it doesn't take long for them to become an albatross. It'll be a while before I do it again, mainly because I need to get back on the program after the binge. I feel fat, is what I mean. But cookies are soooo gooood.
Speaking of fat, you know what's worse than a bloated whale? A bloated sunburned whale. My fresh to death sunburn was annoying shortly after it happened but it has blossomed into a sleep-interrupting misery. It doesn't look like much but wow is it uncomfortable. Enh, it looks bad but I would expect it to look worse given how annoying/painful it is. Let's go eat some ibuprofen! Is that funny? Only if it is happening to someone else.
XBONED
The new XBox One (aka Xbone) promises to be a piece of sweet, sweet gaming goodness. Unfortunately the shitbricks over at microsoft know that the die hard xbox owners (like me) will buy a new xbox when it comes out, even if it costs more than I would prefer to spend.
When confronted with this cost, the head of Xbox Don Mattrick said he was 'over delivering on value', and while I don't agree with 'over delivering', it does deliver value. I pay $500 once, pay $12 a month for the live service, buy some games, and get hundreds or thousands of hours of entertainment out of it. Plus I get to talk to my friends while I play, which is sweet. Even with the fixed costs (internet connection, live service, new games), it's still good value for money. If you have a multiple users you get even more value for money.
What's ridiculous is that Mattrick is claiming they are adding value in areas that have absolutely no value to me whatsoever. He mentions Twitch streaming, Skype, SmartGlass and Kinect. It's a very good list of things I don't care that my gaming console can do: stream video of other people playing games (twitch), talk on the phone (skype), SmartGlass (whatever that is), and watch me wave my arms around (kinect). I want it to play games and stream videos. That's all. But that doesn't grow the business so I get a good core system wrapped up in bullshit. Reminds me of something Microsoft is well known for, but I can't quite put my finger on it...
When confronted with this cost, the head of Xbox Don Mattrick said he was 'over delivering on value', and while I don't agree with 'over delivering', it does deliver value. I pay $500 once, pay $12 a month for the live service, buy some games, and get hundreds or thousands of hours of entertainment out of it. Plus I get to talk to my friends while I play, which is sweet. Even with the fixed costs (internet connection, live service, new games), it's still good value for money. If you have a multiple users you get even more value for money.
What's ridiculous is that Mattrick is claiming they are adding value in areas that have absolutely no value to me whatsoever. He mentions Twitch streaming, Skype, SmartGlass and Kinect. It's a very good list of things I don't care that my gaming console can do: stream video of other people playing games (twitch), talk on the phone (skype), SmartGlass (whatever that is), and watch me wave my arms around (kinect). I want it to play games and stream videos. That's all. But that doesn't grow the business so I get a good core system wrapped up in bullshit. Reminds me of something Microsoft is well known for, but I can't quite put my finger on it...
16 June 2013
Some People Never Learn
| Ouch |
Yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to go to the park and read for a bit. I took precautions, put sunscreen everywhere I could reach. The breakdown was when I opted to sit in a way that exposed the part I can't reach (my back) to the noon sun for an extended period (40 minutes, if we're counting).
My thinking, if you can call it that, was that I would sit in such a way that my back wouldn't get much sun, just my shoulders. You could charitably call my choices 'optimistic', but I think 'stupid' is probably more accurate. It was too much sun for much too long.
No doubt you would love a picture but there isn't much to see. Imagine the last time you had an uncomfortable sunburn on your back - it's exactly like that. Ugh.
Unrelated: True Blood is on HBO tonight. Good thing I have an iPad and a friend's HBOgo account information. Har.
11 June 2013
The People Have Spoken (again)
Updates from the readership!
Regarding that deliciously over the top AVB remix post, Big Cheese says:
you can its tell AVB from the first baseline. Wow. hard driving cheese, in the most outsanding way. pretty sure PVD would rock this out too.
I am literally chuckling and smiling ear to ear with the awesome cheese as I type this. and the guitar come in.
lol. wow. thank for sharing
// Yesss don't even try and fight the sweet sweetness of that jam. It is so over the top. Very glad you liked it. Even the structure of the song acknowledges that it only has one role to play: intro, build, build, build, mega cheese breakdown, outro. There is like 2:30 of outro. Why so much? Well, why not? You already got to the good part and you should be mixing into another song already. Who needs an ending once you're done with the middle?
Re: my superb experience at the ball park years ago with himself and Future Mrs. Newbs, Ze Newbs says:
Ahhhhh, those were the days. Sneaking warm, frothy beers into the yard. I'm not sure why I stopped that practice. While I do make more than $600/year now, it isn't like I can afford $10.25 a beer. Unrelated: I've got tickets for the [date redacted]. Consider yourself invited. Seats are closer to the field but beers won't be any colder/less frothy.
//How did we sneak the beers in? Didn't we give them to Future Mrs. Newbs to carry in her handbag? IIRC they were too big to stuff into our pockets because they were tallboys. Maybe I gave my beers to her and you had yours in your pockets with a sweatshirt or jacket tied at the waist for stealth? Memory is faulty at best. I remember at least 16 oz of warm, foamy goodness per can. So good. Except not really good. Yet still somehow good.
Thanks for reading.
Regarding that deliciously over the top AVB remix post, Big Cheese says:
you can its tell AVB from the first baseline. Wow. hard driving cheese, in the most outsanding way. pretty sure PVD would rock this out too.
I am literally chuckling and smiling ear to ear with the awesome cheese as I type this. and the guitar come in.
lol. wow. thank for sharing
// Yesss don't even try and fight the sweet sweetness of that jam. It is so over the top. Very glad you liked it. Even the structure of the song acknowledges that it only has one role to play: intro, build, build, build, mega cheese breakdown, outro. There is like 2:30 of outro. Why so much? Well, why not? You already got to the good part and you should be mixing into another song already. Who needs an ending once you're done with the middle?
Re: my superb experience at the ball park years ago with himself and Future Mrs. Newbs, Ze Newbs says:
Ahhhhh, those were the days. Sneaking warm, frothy beers into the yard. I'm not sure why I stopped that practice. While I do make more than $600/year now, it isn't like I can afford $10.25 a beer. Unrelated: I've got tickets for the [date redacted]. Consider yourself invited. Seats are closer to the field but beers won't be any colder/less frothy.
//How did we sneak the beers in? Didn't we give them to Future Mrs. Newbs to carry in her handbag? IIRC they were too big to stuff into our pockets because they were tallboys. Maybe I gave my beers to her and you had yours in your pockets with a sweatshirt or jacket tied at the waist for stealth? Memory is faulty at best. I remember at least 16 oz of warm, foamy goodness per can. So good. Except not really good. Yet still somehow good.
Thanks for reading.
10 June 2013
No Takers?
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| Not Paleo |
--
Apparently my mini-contest didn't set the world on fire. The readership isn't interested in guessing games. Which I can understand.
Here's the thing: I need to get these g-damn fat cakes the fuck out of my house. I am sick with dough bloat. You want some cookies? Email me your shipping address. They go out tomorrow (Tuesday, 11 June).
Not sure how many it'll be. Figure a dozen or thereabouts. Depends how many I stuff in my face before I get them boxed up.
Don't forget that one of my favorite breakfasts is a cookie in the bottom of a bowl of Crispix. You
This was the first batch of cookies in my current apartment. No I didn't move, I just never baked anything here. You care. The best part was that as I was in the middle of putting it together I noticed I was missing some key hardware. Had to cycle over to Jefe's house to borrow.
You probably think I didn't have a baking sheet or mixer or something. Ahh, no. I have a wide selection of premium baking implements, tools and appliances; I was missing the teaspoons I need to scoop the dough.* Why no teaspoons? Because the dinnerware got jettisoned a couple moves ago and I never re-bought because the Girl and I were going to move in together. We know how that worked out. :: sad faces ::
Jefe and his Mrs. came through so no bigs. I delivered them a generous portion of dough by way of thanks. Now they're sick with dough bloat too! Synergy!
* I imagine it is possible, in theory, to bake cookies without using teaspoons to scoop the dough but I've never done it in my many, many efforts. So F that noise.
09 June 2013
What Are You Looking At?
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| Guess Which One is Butterball McFatty and I Will Send You Cookies (SRSLY) |
Saved the picture though, which is good, because...
Bumped into a girl from the gym at the farmers market today and was talking about, what else, the gym.* I mentioned that she was featured on the gym website in a photo, asked how she felt about it. She said she didn't love the picture, but at least her "calves looked good".
I was too confused to laugh at first (Wait, what? Calves? Back up - were they even IN the picture?) but after a couple beats I had a good chuckle and she thought I was making fun of her. I wasn't, at least not intentionally. I was laughing about the disconnect between what we see from the inside vs. what other people see from the outside.
By way of example, in the photo above I see a lazy slob that didn't finish his workout on Friday and needs to work harder, maybe cut back on the desserts a little (maybe - I love desserts). You probably just see a bunch of people getting exercise. And you're not wrong. But neither am I.
*First rule of crossfit: you always have to talk about crossfit. Which is kind of silly because it's true of everything. What do you think the people in my yoga classes talk about? The shit they do in their free time, which: yoga. **
** I miss talking about yoga with someone from class. It's a good way to digest the experience.
07 June 2013
The Worst
I hate those backpack blower things that the landscape maintenance guys use to push leaves / grass / dust around. HATE. They are more annoying than a piece of junk Hardly Dangerous motorcycle drive by, which is saying something. At least those things leave (eventually). The blower's constantly changing pitch and location is too loud to ignore, and too varied to numb out. It's specially designed to invade your ears. Ugh.
Planes? Fly that shit. Cars? Whatevs. Motorcycles? At least it's got two wheels. Music? Rock out. Loud 2-stroke motor blowing air? Fuck you.
Planes? Fly that shit. Cars? Whatevs. Motorcycles? At least it's got two wheels. Music? Rock out. Loud 2-stroke motor blowing air? Fuck you.
06 June 2013
Repeat Offender - CUE IT UP AGAIN
Oh did you want that again, in a mashup? Because I got that for you right here. Guitars? Check. Strings? Check. Extra long build and breakdown? Check and check! This is some next-level shit, a music type designed for a narrow subset of people. But it is an exemplary example of its type. So.
Bring the Noise, with a Side of Cheese
My list of saccharine-sweet white-guy-music guilty pleasures has, at varying times, included some pretty damn suspect bands. Like, really suspect. I once paid good green American money for a Nickelback record. Which, in terms of discriminating taste, is equivalent to eating at a Taco Bell inside a Wal-Mart that shares a parking lot with McDonalds. There are numerous other dated examples.
I have a strong feeling that this remix is one of those tracks I will look back on and say, man, how did I listen to that shit? Because it's classic white-guy-music mixed with some mega-cheese synth trance? What the fuck?
But then I listen to it and it's great. So here we are. Judge all you want; I'll be over in the corner, getting my dance on.
I CAN'T HEAR YOU - THERE'S TOO MUCH AWESOME IN MY EARS. AWESOME-Y? AWESOME-ISH? STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU.
CALL BACK TOMORROW.
04 June 2013
Things that I have seen: A Sunset at Pac Bell Park
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| We Were a Bit Further Down the Line (towards the fair pole) |
Many years ago Ze Newbs dragged me to a ball game at the then Pac Bell Park. Future Mrs. Newbs was also in attendance; she's a fan, and it was good she was there to chaperone us in case we overindulged (probability of which was fixed at 100%).
We still joke about it because the Giants got spanked, I think by the Blue Jays, and although the score was something like 10-3 going into the 8th His Nibs refused to let us leave early. He's like that. The Jays tacked on a few more runs and we stuck around for the desultory, inevitable conclusion.
Our seats were in the way, way tippy top along the right-field line. Literally, we were in the very top row. It was a bit of a hike but we had a commanding view of the field and a panoramic view across the bay.
Downside was the beers we smuggled in were a bit frothy from the climb and when I cracked one open in the second inning my sneaky ankle-level opening technique (to avoid the hawkeyed septuagenarian security personnel) was directly behind the neck of the poor gentleman sitting in front of me. He caught
Another highlight of our vantage was that on a temperate early Fall night in the park you can watch the landscape directly in front of you cascade through a series of beautiful colors as the sun goes down. If you're very lucky it will be clear enough for the windows across the bay to reflect pinpoints of light as the sun sets way off to your left. Imagine a golden landscape with highlights of reflecting windows and the (otherwise hideous) Bay Bridge shimmering across the water. It was impossibly, absurdly beautiful, and I will never forget it.
There are no bad seats in
01 June 2013
It's good to have goals: Falcao
I invite you to watch this (annoyingly obscured around the edges) video of Radamel Falcao scoring unbelievable goals and tell me if he's right- or left-footed.
After watching it I think I have an idea but I'm not certain. There's no way to know.
31 May 2013
Are they registered to vote in Arizona?
Hey remember when John McCain went to Syria to talk to the rebels? Get some firsthand, face to face interaction?
Ummm... what the fuck is John McCain doing with the Syria rebels? Seriously, what the fuck are you doing there? What part of the United States is Syria in? I can't remember; I'm not very good at geography.
What is he going to learn by going there? After he learns... whatever it is that he learned, what is it he hopes to accomplish? Hey I got some face time and we should give those dudes anything they want, no questions asked, because giving guns and explosives to rebel groups has never been an issue before.*
I love that McCain thinks the USA should arm those clowns. I also love that Russia sent heavy duty missiles to the Assad regime, if only to give McCain and his 'freedom' ilk a massive middle finger.
McCain probably still thinks the Iraq war was a good idea. One thing you can count on with those 'rebels' in Syria is that they have killed / are going to kill a lot of people. Assad might be a very, very bad guy but the 'rebels' will do what they can to outpace him as soon as they are able. It's good that they have a (cranky, irrelevant, windbag, idiot) US senator to stand up for them.
* While we're on the subject, how's the war in Afghanistan going? Badly? Oh.
Ummm... what the fuck is John McCain doing with the Syria rebels? Seriously, what the fuck are you doing there? What part of the United States is Syria in? I can't remember; I'm not very good at geography.
What is he going to learn by going there? After he learns... whatever it is that he learned, what is it he hopes to accomplish? Hey I got some face time and we should give those dudes anything they want, no questions asked, because giving guns and explosives to rebel groups has never been an issue before.*
I love that McCain thinks the USA should arm those clowns. I also love that Russia sent heavy duty missiles to the Assad regime, if only to give McCain and his 'freedom' ilk a massive middle finger.
McCain probably still thinks the Iraq war was a good idea. One thing you can count on with those 'rebels' in Syria is that they have killed / are going to kill a lot of people. Assad might be a very, very bad guy but the 'rebels' will do what they can to outpace him as soon as they are able. It's good that they have a (cranky, irrelevant, windbag, idiot) US senator to stand up for them.
* While we're on the subject, how's the war in Afghanistan going? Badly? Oh.
29 May 2013
Damn a week already?
It shouldn't have been a whole week. I wrote a post and had a cool (possibly not that cool) song attached but then I hit the wrong button and it got deleted. I am an idiot. Are you sure you want to delete this post? Oh yeah do it. I'm good. And then: poof. Gone forever. Ahhh why didn't you protect me from myself?
Get involved in this while you can. Three hour mix? Hellz yeah. I think you have another day or two at the most. Props to Big Cheese for the link.
Since I don't feel like creating something from scratch (again), here's an excerpt of my correspondence with a Friend of the Blog:
I've been feeling sick since late last week so my weekend was very quiet. I made it to a disgusting lunch with some friends on Sunday while they were drinking their faces off. They were at the bars for over 12 hours. Started at noon, and I got a text at midnight that they were still there. How is that even possible? And it was at a horrible chain bar called the Saddle Ranch - possibly you are familiar. It's like getting drunk at a western-themed TGIFridays. Dodged that bullet (aside from the gag-inducing lunch) but stopped by to say hello during their bender and survey the scene. It was awful.
Caught up with some AD [Arrested Development]. What did you think? I thought it was... uneven. Parts were superb, parts were not. It's hard to hit a home run every time. It took far too many episodes for someone to make fun of Portia de Rossi's plastic surgery.* Jesus. Is that even the same person?
*To be fair: she looks great with that short haircut. I'm less convinced on the new nose, botox, etc.
Get involved in this while you can. Three hour mix? Hellz yeah. I think you have another day or two at the most. Props to Big Cheese for the link.
Since I don't feel like creating something from scratch (again), here's an excerpt of my correspondence with a Friend of the Blog:
I've been feeling sick since late last week so my weekend was very quiet. I made it to a disgusting lunch with some friends on Sunday while they were drinking their faces off. They were at the bars for over 12 hours. Started at noon, and I got a text at midnight that they were still there. How is that even possible? And it was at a horrible chain bar called the Saddle Ranch - possibly you are familiar. It's like getting drunk at a western-themed TGIFridays. Dodged that bullet (aside from the gag-inducing lunch) but stopped by to say hello during their bender and survey the scene. It was awful.
Caught up with some AD [Arrested Development]. What did you think? I thought it was... uneven. Parts were superb, parts were not. It's hard to hit a home run every time. It took far too many episodes for someone to make fun of Portia de Rossi's plastic surgery.* Jesus. Is that even the same person?
*To be fair: she looks great with that short haircut. I'm less convinced on the new nose, botox, etc.
22 May 2013
Gets Me Out of the House: Tactical Response Fighting Pistol
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| Suns Out, Guns Out |
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| Missile Away! |
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| Get Comfortable |
Oh nothing much. Just, you know, stuff. Took some shooting classes.
Yeah like what?
Fighting Pistol with Tactical Response.
Was it good?
It was excellent. Highly recommended.
Got any pictures?
Yeah, a few.
Let's see 'em.
Ok.
Nice. Anything I should look for in these photos besides how amazing your ass looks in those pants?
No. Gaze in wonderment at the firmness of my posterior. I work out, if you hadn't heard.
I was kidding about the pants. In related news: You're a douche.
Okay, yeah, couple points of interest.
As in?
Well, in the top photo, you can see my trigger finger is where it belongs, and the gun is coming straight up and out of the holster, elbow mostly back. It's actually not a bad draw. It's not textbook perfect, but I've seen worse.
What else?
This is slow aimed fire at 3 yards, and all my shots are in the 3.5" circle.
Is that good?
Depends how fast you're shooting, how far away you are, and if you're moving or not. In this case: no it's not good. It's just not bad. These DEA dots are a common baseline accuracy test. Class was basic level so there were a variety of skill levels among the students.
Are you just saying that? Because it looks good to me.
Shooting what you're aiming at always looks good. But: No, it's not 'good' in this instance. It's the equivalent of driving down the freeway in a car and not crashing. Yeah it takes some practice but almost anyone can do it.
Aww, is it that easy?
For this type of shooting, yes. I will say that it's better than the guy to my left and right. See all the tape on their targets? You only tape the misses. No tape = you're doing something right. But: slow aimed fire at 3 yards, if you're missing a DEA dot you're either new or bad. The guy to my left was new; the guy on my right was struggling with his gun. His grip sucked, and I don't know that he ever really got it sorted out because he would fix it, then revert to his bad grip the next time he drew his gun.
What does a bad grip look like?
Funny you should ask. The picture of us seated shows a guy with a textbook firing grip on a Glock (black shirt, arms extended, foreground), a not very good grip from the shooter #3, my grip, and barely visible in the far distance you can make out the bad crossed-thumbs grip from the stout fellow to my right (aka shooter # 5). If you compare targets 2, 3, 4, and 5 in the second photo with the grips of shooters 2, 3, 4 and 5 you'll notice that the shooters with a good grip are hitting the target consistently, and the shooters with poor grips are not. This is not a coincidence.*
Wow I'm asleep. Can we talk about something else?
Uh yeah, sure. Did you see the new Star Trek movie?
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
No? You still there?
*The seated photos were taken several hours later in the day than the first two but I promise that the targets looked consistent throughout.
20 May 2013
The People Have Spoken (again)
Ze Newbs weighs in from the comments section on his own awesome yoga experience.
Take it away, sir!
awful. i had a similar (not similar at all) thing happen to me at the studio i used to frequent in boston. boston yoga does not equal CA yoga. i.e. not so many dudes. like i was often the only one in a class of 15-25. the waiting room of this place was exceedingly small for the studio space and during class turnover it was a cramped mess. shoulder to shoulder and cheek to cheek...as in when i was squatting down putting my stuff in my bag while leaving one day i looked over to see the bare ass of one of the women doing a quick change of her pants. in the waiting room. 3 feet from the register. maybe closer to my face. my double take revealed she was not in fact doing a porky pig impression but had some oh so tiny undergarments on. i'm not a prude but geez.
//
That's a lot of awesome. We'll leave it there for now.
Take it away, sir!
awful. i had a similar (not similar at all) thing happen to me at the studio i used to frequent in boston. boston yoga does not equal CA yoga. i.e. not so many dudes. like i was often the only one in a class of 15-25. the waiting room of this place was exceedingly small for the studio space and during class turnover it was a cramped mess. shoulder to shoulder and cheek to cheek...as in when i was squatting down putting my stuff in my bag while leaving one day i looked over to see the bare ass of one of the women doing a quick change of her pants. in the waiting room. 3 feet from the register. maybe closer to my face. my double take revealed she was not in fact doing a porky pig impression but had some oh so tiny undergarments on. i'm not a prude but geez.
//
That's a lot of awesome. We'll leave it there for now.
17 May 2013
Clean it Up
Long time readers will know that I split my exercise time flexing with my shirt off at the local yoga studio and crossfit gym. I feel like I get more out of the workouts when I kick them around with someone afterwards, especially the yoga. However, I don't have regular peeps at yoga so there's no easy way for me to do a debrief. If only there were some kind of an outlet to express my experiences... Oh, hey! What's up?
Couple weeks ago a guy at the yoga studio set a new personal hygiene low (since surpassed) after class. My habit is to duck into a bathroom stall to change out of my sweaties after class. There are changing areas but those are always busy. The Men's is quick and usually available because the classes are only about 20% male, if that. Note that the men's room has two sinks, and it's not a big space. Just big enough, but if two guys are standing at the sinks they are in very close proximity. (This detail becomes important later.)
I exited the stall to see a pile of sweaty clothes in one of the sinks. There wasn't anyone in the immediate vicinity so I left the disgusting pile where it was. I don't have anything against being a gross sweaty mess per se, but it is your obligation to try and corral it as much as possible, display a sensitivity to the other students that might not want to get involved in your mess. Putting your ass-sweated shorts in the sink where we wash our hands does not display the requisite sensitivity. One man's opinion.
Fast forward to this past Sunday. After class was over I did the same thing: changed in a stall, exited to wash my hands, as per usual. Upon exiting the stall I was assaulted by the sight of a naked, furry fat man putting his sweaty clothes into the sink. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I guess it's cool to get naked, put your clothes in the sink and hang out (pun intended) after class. News to me. Why change in a towel? Too much effort. Why change in a stall? Enh, didn't feel like waiting the 30 seconds. I had to step around him just to wash my hands, a prospect made less appealing by his naked sweatyness and his pile of sweaty clothes in the other sink. If it's more gross to have to go in the bathroom and wash your hands than it is to just leave with your sweaty post-yoga germ hands intact then something is very wrong.
In the context of a locker room the full naked sink visit is fairly typical. In the context of using the men's room it's fucking horrible. I gather that one could infer some overlap based on the setting, but not so much overlap that you would strip naked and stand in front of the goddamn sink like an overweight silverback gorilla. Dear Sir: Dothe universe us a favor and put a towel on. Please.
See you Sunday!
Couple weeks ago a guy at the yoga studio set a new personal hygiene low (since surpassed) after class. My habit is to duck into a bathroom stall to change out of my sweaties after class. There are changing areas but those are always busy. The Men's is quick and usually available because the classes are only about 20% male, if that. Note that the men's room has two sinks, and it's not a big space. Just big enough, but if two guys are standing at the sinks they are in very close proximity. (This detail becomes important later.)
I exited the stall to see a pile of sweaty clothes in one of the sinks. There wasn't anyone in the immediate vicinity so I left the disgusting pile where it was. I don't have anything against being a gross sweaty mess per se, but it is your obligation to try and corral it as much as possible, display a sensitivity to the other students that might not want to get involved in your mess. Putting your ass-sweated shorts in the sink where we wash our hands does not display the requisite sensitivity. One man's opinion.
Fast forward to this past Sunday. After class was over I did the same thing: changed in a stall, exited to wash my hands, as per usual. Upon exiting the stall I was assaulted by the sight of a naked, furry fat man putting his sweaty clothes into the sink. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I guess it's cool to get naked, put your clothes in the sink and hang out (pun intended) after class. News to me. Why change in a towel? Too much effort. Why change in a stall? Enh, didn't feel like waiting the 30 seconds. I had to step around him just to wash my hands, a prospect made less appealing by his naked sweatyness and his pile of sweaty clothes in the other sink. If it's more gross to have to go in the bathroom and wash your hands than it is to just leave with your sweaty post-yoga germ hands intact then something is very wrong.
In the context of a locker room the full naked sink visit is fairly typical. In the context of using the men's room it's fucking horrible. I gather that one could infer some overlap based on the setting, but not so much overlap that you would strip naked and stand in front of the goddamn sink like an overweight silverback gorilla. Dear Sir: Do
See you Sunday!
15 May 2013
GIVE ME ALL THE TOYZ
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| OHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOY |
It's not often you see dreams come true.
Reese the Best Dog Ever was famous for, among other things, opening gifts and packages. You never saw someone without opposable thumbs open anything so adroitly. She would attack and shred cardboard, packing material, tissue paper, ribbon, plastic, whatever. Any box she could reach was fair game because there was usually a prize inside. The mess was considerable but the payoff was worth it.
One time she got impatient while waiting for me to open a birthday present and she pawed at it in frustration, gave me a fat lip. My bad. I let her open it while my lip swelled. Didn't make that mistake again. Lesson learned.
14 May 2013
Nerd Follow Up
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| Mine is Almost Entirely Useless Trivia and SciFi References |
In related news, I went out and tried to socialize a bit this weekend. It went about as well as can be expected. Which is to say, not well at all. Baby steps.
Casual social skills are perishable. Something to work on, I guess. Is there a crossfit workout for that?
10 May 2013
They Made a Movie
If you're a man of a certain age (born between 1970 and 1978) and you read books as a young person then it's likely that you read / were exposed to / were assigned the excellent Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. The book is famous in SciFi circles for several reasons, not least of which is that, like the hit-and-miss Harry Potter series, it pulled in a lot of young people (mostly boys) that weren't otherwise inclined to read. Even people that don't 'like to read' managed to finish the book; it was a gateway drug for future nerd addicts.
Full disclosure: I was already on board (captain of?) the Nerd Express by 1985, so this book was just something to obsess over while I matured into my impressive/debilitating peak-level social awkwardness.
The book is also known in part because the author is a devout
The movie looks formulaic in 2013, but the book was all kinds of awesome in 1985. Not sure how they'll handle the brutal violence between the children.
In any case, I'm looking forward to it. If it's any good I'll see it more than once. And re-read the book. Speaking of which, my copy was lost - can I borrow yours?
* I learned later from an industry insider that Card was regularly rejected for awards within the SciFi community because of his religious views, which: lame.
05 May 2013
This is How You Get Down
This song is a remix from a couple years ago. I tried to post it when it was the new hotness but couldn't find a decent version online. Heard it masterfully incorporated into a mix and tracked it down. It starts at 1 hr 13 mins if you want to go straight there.
Props to Big Cheese for the sweet jamz. Again.
02 May 2013
Flipping a coin would have been easier (also cheaper)
Sooo the guy responsible for creating and selling fake bomb detectors is going to jail. The good news is that at least they weren't based on ridiculous 'golf ball finders'. That would have been too stupid to believe. Wait, what?
Shit.
Well, at least they weren't expensive. Those golf ball finders were a ripoff at $19. Imagine paying tens of thousands of dollars for a scam device that didn't work - wait, hang on... it says here:
7,000 devices under the ADE brand to the Iraqi government and other international agencies for prices ranging from $2,500 per unit to $30,000, when they cost less than $50.
Shit.
The good news is that they weren't widely used in dangerous areas so no lives were lost. Whoa... hold the phone! The New York Times says:
The suicide bombers who managed to get two tons of explosives into downtown Baghdad on Oct. 25, killing 155 people and destroying three ministries, had to pass at least one checkpoint where the ADE 651 is typically deployed, judging from surveillance videos released by Baghdad’s provincial governor.
Hmmm... That is a lot of people to blow up with one bomb. And, umm, 4000 lbs of explosives is a lot. Like, a lot.
Shit.
Good thing they didn't buy very many of these (useless, expensive) devices. Must be an isolated case. What's that? The Iraqi army bought thousands of them? Wait, did you say thousands? Oh.
Shit.
Well, at least they didn't spend a lot of money. What's that? $122 million, according to the Guardian?
That IS a lot of money.
Shit.
Well, at least they aren't still being used. Wait, what's that? They're still in use in some areas?
Shit.
There's a promotional video? Sounds promising. Let's go to the tape:
Seems legit. It's got an extendable antenna and also it plugs into something.
Can you imagine if you're a US soldier stuck in a place where people are trying to kill you and you have to work with people that believe this nonsense? How would you even get up in the morning?
Shit.
Shit.
Well, at least they weren't expensive. Those golf ball finders were a ripoff at $19. Imagine paying tens of thousands of dollars for a scam device that didn't work - wait, hang on... it says here:
7,000 devices under the ADE brand to the Iraqi government and other international agencies for prices ranging from $2,500 per unit to $30,000, when they cost less than $50.
Shit.
The good news is that they weren't widely used in dangerous areas so no lives were lost. Whoa... hold the phone! The New York Times says:
The suicide bombers who managed to get two tons of explosives into downtown Baghdad on Oct. 25, killing 155 people and destroying three ministries, had to pass at least one checkpoint where the ADE 651 is typically deployed, judging from surveillance videos released by Baghdad’s provincial governor.
Hmmm... That is a lot of people to blow up with one bomb. And, umm, 4000 lbs of explosives is a lot. Like, a lot.
Shit.
Good thing they didn't buy very many of these (useless, expensive) devices. Must be an isolated case. What's that? The Iraqi army bought thousands of them? Wait, did you say thousands? Oh.
Shit.
Well, at least they didn't spend a lot of money. What's that? $122 million, according to the Guardian?
That IS a lot of money.
Shit.
Well, at least they aren't still being used. Wait, what's that? They're still in use in some areas?
Shit.
There's a promotional video? Sounds promising. Let's go to the tape:
Seems legit. It's got an extendable antenna and also it plugs into something.
Can you imagine if you're a US soldier stuck in a place where people are trying to kill you and you have to work with people that believe this nonsense? How would you even get up in the morning?
Shit.
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