Sex advice from people that don't have sex

With apologies to our Christian readers, an admission: some of you may be new to this space, but occasionally We write unpopular posts about things that are important to Us, such as science education in schools, and civil rights. It gives Us an opportunity to flex our rhetorical muscle, clarify points that might get discussed in later conversations, and also use the majestic plural. We hope that you will continue to visit this space anyway. Because sometimes we post recipes and they are delicious.

The pope is in the news this week for making comments about using condoms. Never been a big fan of the pope or his organization, what with their centuries-long commitment to gross ignorance and institutionalized abuse. Oh, I meant these more recent cases. My bad. Sure I chose some easy examples but there are soooo many it's pointless to list them all. You either agree or you disagree already; I'm not going to change your mind here. I'm just telling you where I'm coming from.

Anyway, setting aside my personal feelings about how/why this tax-exempt, pedophile protecting group retains its influence, I wonder why anyone thinks it's a good idea to take sex advice from a guy that doesn't have sex. How can you trust the accuracy of information when the person delivering it has NO EXPERIENCE in that area? Indeed, professes to avoid it? Recommends that you too also avoid it, until you're married? (And then only if you're straight.) Why wouldn't you question their motivations? (If you're Catholic you're prolly not much of a questioning mind anyway, but that's a separate issue, about which see prev. paragraph.)

Just. Don't. Get it.
My issue is that any answer from Catholics will be grounded in Catholic theology, which I reject. Don't start there because it's a dead end. Instead, I want an answer that explains why it makes sense to solicit information on a subject from people that actively avoid its practice, except in specific circumstances (marriage) WHICH THEY ALSO DON'T PRACTICE. That is flat crazy. Would you ask a vegan how to cook a steak? No. You wouldn't even let them near your grill. Or smoker. Not that they would ever know the difference between grillin' out and barbecue anyway. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiit. At least the Protestants and other reformation churches have some kind of leg to stand on with this stuff. Yeah they're full of crap too, but for different reasons.

Which reminds me: Why do you always take two Baptists fishing?
Because if you take one he'll drink all your beer!

Coming up: recipes for the chocolate cake I made yesterday, and also maybe the recipe for carrot cake I'm going to make later this week. I might have posted both of those already but I can't remember. you care.

What I'm not doing this Saturday

My good friend Sonia is coming to town from NYC. She invited me to her friend's birthday party up in Hollywood. Originally I said yeah sure I'm there no problem you bet. When I asked for details she forwarded me the evite and it was like someone kicked the needle off the record. I even took a screenshot of the guest list in it's entirety (as of early on Wednesday) so you could get a feel for what I'm talking about. I added the callouts; not sure if they are available on evite yet. (But they should be.)

I asked her if it was a date party and she said no. Somehow that makes the fact that everyone is taking a date EVEN WORSE. In the words of my brother Preston: "Fuck. That."

So, you got any plans for Saturday? I just freed up my calendar.

happy thanksgiving

I've been busy.
Hope you have a good thanksgiving. Check back this weekend. I'll have something. Better than this, anyway.
love you.

setting snarky aside: go read a book

I was all set to write a snarky post about how Blogger created youtube videos to explain how to set up a blog. Just typing that bugs me because it's so un-ironically stupid, but it's a personal issue of mine (the inability to create a blog should be some kind of idiot filter). However...

I was distracted by this fun blog about people reading. My favorite entry? The one for Paws Off, Cheddarface. Because reading is good for you.

What I'm reading right now: A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. This is my third or fourth time through the book. There's so much in it that you can read it every 6 months and still find something new, or remind yourself of something you already knew. Short History is like Blink and The Tipping Point in that they are excellent introductory / gateway books. As in, books that lead you to other good books.

this happened

so a woman was on the toilet for 2 years. i'm guessing she has some mental problems. you can read the story for yourself here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080312/ap_on_re_us/woman_in_bathroom;_ylt=AidODhCMIcafGEWREDRIC.YDW7oF

i wanted to get some pictures to accompany this story and then I realized that no, I didn't want any pictures to accompany this story.

her boyfriend brought her food and water (she didn't have water in the bathroom?). and crazy. he was definitely bringing her the crazy.

happy anniversary: Dick Vitale still has a job

In honor of our 2 year / 300 post anni over here at GJAW (formerly firedickvitale), I thought it would be fun to take a look at an early theme from the blog. Yes, Dick Vitale still has a job, and yes, he's still an idiot. If you think I'm just jealous because Dicky V. gets paid to say stupid shit and I don't, you're right. (image courtesy someecards - get over there and send someone you know an ecard right now.)

Dick Vitale writes like he speaks, and since he speaks like a drug-addled 4th grader, it's not hard to find fault with his writing. Some people probably think he does a good job. Some people think The Secret is full of insight. These people should get together, actualize themselves a brain.

So, Dick, where do we start today? The Stock Watch is too banal. It's lame and empty, but there's no there there. Thus nothing to critique. Ahhh, heeeeeere we are. Surely you can provide us with some insight on this repeated violation? No? How about some redundant idiocy? Perfect.

Down at Indiana, you would have thought Kelvin Sampson and his staff would have taken every precaution to avoid the embarrassment and humiliation of the latest telephone scam.

Would you? I'd have thought he would break the rules again, since he was an inveterate rule breaker at his last job.

On May 25, 2006, the NCAA banned Sampson from taking recruiting trips or calling recruits for one year.

This is important; we will be coming back to it shortly.

There were stipulations placed upon his hire at Indiana. The feeling was Sampson would be under a zero tolerance policy. No recruiting violations would be tolerated.

Is this the same thing as a "zero tolerance policy"? Because you just said that.

I spoke to Kelvin Sampson and he stated that they did not cheat, but they made an error in judgment.

Sampson was not supposed to make any recruiting calls, so he was conferenced in when they called him. And also, he had assistant coaches make calls for him and then put him on the phone in a 3 way conf. call. So technically, the coach didn't make any conf calls. Great leadership, coach. Way to set an example for your incoming guys.

He [Sampson] claims he unknowingly was patched in to calls with an assistant and a recruit.

I do not believe that you are telling the truth Mr. Sampson.

It will be interesting to see how Sampson cleans up this mess. For those who were critical of The General, Robert Montgomery Knight, I simply ask ... was there ever any talk, conversation or innuendo about any violations?

Bob Knight never violated recruiting rules. However, he punched his players, kicked his players, threw chairs/tantrums/fits, berated and physically threatened support staff, erupted at the slightest provocation, and set new standards for awful behavior as a human being in general and coaches in particular. People have written entire books about it. I'm too lazy to find the links describing how awful Bob Knight is, but I did google Bob Knight punch and got 151,000 hits. Start here if you need a refresher.