Long Time No Talk: What the Heck? / To Recline or Not to Recline on an Airplane (RECLINE IF YOU WANT TO)

Hello Dear Reader!
I've been away. Literally away, in that I had to go to Seattle again. That was productive and fine and work. Whatever. Also metaphorically away in that I had back surgery so I am not supposed to sit or stand for "prolonged periods". (Is anyone supposed to sit or stand for "prolonged periods"? Not really.) Entries will be necessarily brief as a result.

Should have some content hitting in the next couple days. It might even be interesting! Possibly. No promises.

As an aside, here are some thoughts on reclining vs. not reclining an airplane seat. People tend to feel very strongly. I am firmly in the reclining camp.

It is your inalienable right to recline. Anyone that disagrees, however reasonable, is wrong. I like to lean forward sometimes in my seat and this puts me at risk of a sharp blow to the face when the person in front reclines. That is not their fault!

This is a good and reasonable summary of reclining best practices, courtesy the internet and 'philmickelsonmantits':


If anybody claimed that a reclining seat would “crush their knees” and “make the flight agony” and “will leave them bruised for days,” I’d roll my eyes so fucking hard because that’s the most histrionic shit I would have ever heard.

Now, if a tall person asked me politely for a little extra space, I’d offer a compromise whereby I only recline halfway.

I don’t want to cause anybody discomfort, but that includes myself. So, while I’ll give a little to minimize the other person’s discomfort, I hope they’d be willing to give a little to minimize mine.
That said, I’d never dream of asking the person in front of me to not recline, even though it prevents me from using my computer comfortably. It is their chair and their space, after all.

More Reading: Soccer in Sun and Shadow by Eduardo Galeano

This is a classic if you like soccer. Easy to read as the "chapters" are very short - each is only a page or two. There is a heavy emphasis on the history of soccer in Latin America, especially in the early half of the book. The florid and romanticized language is a contrast the the stark truths presented in the content: poverty, vice, and early death await many of the men (and they are all men) described in the books pages. Hence: Soccer in Sun and Shadow. Galeano does not shy away from the highs and the lows.

Highly recommended.

Nice Piece

Bought this. Not sure what to do with it. Bit big for a paperweight. He is pretty great though, just sitting there looking mean. I moved him around from room to room to give him a feel for his new place.

Do not mess with the octopus. (Key included for scale.)

Get Your Read On: Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

This is a good book.

Consider reading it if you are looking for something good to read. (You can borrow my copy.)

Science fiction critics distinguish between 'hard' and 'soft' science fiction. (That these words are also used to describe pornography is probably not a coincidence.) These constructs are only useful when trying to assign arbitrary categories to objects so that we can organize them in our minds and conversations. In the grand scheme of literature they are useless except to marginalize certain types of fiction as more (plain fiction) or less intellectual (horror, science fiction, fantasy) than others. It's a lot of bullshit, is what I'm saying.

Anyway, hard science fiction roots the story in science; the science elements are an essential plot device. The Martian by Andy Weir is the most successful hard science fiction novel in recent memory. (That is a superb book, btw.)

Soft science fiction does not dwell overmuch on the science itself and instead focuses on other story elements. It is part of the story but drives the plot indirectly. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro is an example of this latter type. It is very obviously a classic type of science fiction story but Ishiguro resisted categorizing it as such (see second paragraph above for reasons), and when it came out some reviewers bought into the idea that it was 'difficult to categorize' and 'ethereal', to which I say: no, and yes. It was 'difficult to categorize' because if you want to be a Serious Literary Novelist and win Serious Literary Awards then you do not write science fiction. Even if you write a book about a dystopian recent past where people are being cloned, raised to adulthood and then used/farmed as donors. It is a powerful, disturbing, challenging book.

Station Eleven is a soft science fiction novel* that jumps back and forth in time to tell two converging stories in parallel. It is wonderfully constructed and very well told. Highly recommended.



* 'Post-apocalypse', because we have enough of these now that they get their own category. You have The Road if you want to go highbrow, The Stand if you want to aim at the mass market, and Left Behind if you have terrible taste and/or are brain-dead, plus too many others to list.

Best $8 I Ever Spent

I bought a hummingbird feeder on Amazon for about eight bucks.

It is awesome. Are there hummingbirds in your area? Do you have one? You should buy one!

There are pictures floating around on the internet of this feeder covered in hummingbirds. That is definitely not the done thing at my place. One little guy claimed the feeder and he watches over it like a hummingbird hawk. If any other birds cruise by for a tasty snack he lets them know to buzz off.

Every once in a while it seems like he gets tired of hustling the competition off the food source and will allow one other bird to feed (briefly). But not two. Oh hell no. Two interlopers is unacceptable.

The Big Boss is maybe a Rufous Hummingbird? No idea. I would get a picture but he is somewhat camera shy. Also, no matter what apple says about the quality of their camera phones if you want to shoot something high-speed you need a real camera (and a tripod, in this case). Maybe someday.

This Right Here

Busy doing stuff and also my back hurts so I don't feel like sitting down and typing much. Will get you all caught up this weekend though.

In the interim, this is rad. It starts slow so give it some time.

The Classics: Be My Baby by the Ronettes

I love this song. I love a lot of the Wall of Sound songs (a lot of people do -they are really good!), which I recently found out featured the same session musicians as the Beach Boys songs that I also love. So that's fun.

Weird Al: Not My Favorite Music but Super Nice Guy

Cute Pups is Cute

As part of this disturbing story about a girl that was bullied because she was a fan of Guardians of the Galaxy (me too!) and Star Wars (first three movies only, thanks) the local Garrison or whatever it's called of Storm Troopers made sure she got some custom armor, which is totally rad.

Weird Al was also involved in some way and it turns out that he is legendarily nice! Who knew?  This story moved me in a way that I did not expect:

When I was a kid I played the accordion. I wrote “Weird” Al a fan letter that was basically. 

Al, 
We play the same instrument, we should be friends! 

A month later he sent me a note that said. 
We are not friends. We are brothers! With the note was a sheet music of all his songs. 
///


How great is that? That is the greatest and I love it.
People are terrible, but sometimes they are not. In summary: Ruby the Dog is the cutest.

I Went There: Seattle

View from the Hard Rock Seattle Rooftop Deck (Sunset)

(One in an occasional series.) 

One of the perks of my job is that when I'm not working from home in serious business clothes boardshorts* I get to fly around the western United States and meet with customers, do work stuff, stay in nice hotels, see the sights, soak up some of the local color (so to speak), take the occasional yoga class, eat free food, drink free drinks. It's not bad!

Very occasionally I will have time to catch up with friends and/or family. Seattle was one of these times: got my work done, and then I had time to wander around downtown and buy cool stuff (which I almost never do), enjoy some of the touristy spots, hang out with my peeps.

Pike Market is tourist mecca but it was surprisingly pretty good in person. Overpriced, sure, but there were actually a lot of delicious items for sale there, such as local produce and seafood. I went during peak summer season and it was crazy packed but when I was back in the evening after the happy hour at the Hard Rock it was just me and the junkies and other homeless, of which there were many.

I can confirm that the "original" Starbucks is a cool little coffee shop, which makes it the inverse of every Starbucks that has opened since the original. Funny how that works.

If you can make your way to Seattle for an all-expenses-paid trip then that is definitely a thing that you should do. If not then hit me up and you can come with me next time. :)

* Shirts optional, unless I'm on a call, because I need something to clip to my microphone. 

Get Your Read On: The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu

Finished The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu. An epic story, very well told. Highly recommended.

The book reminded me of Bridge of Birds which is long out of print and, in my not so humble opinion, excellent.

Get them both on Amazon (or borrow my copies).

Could do an in-depth review but I'm busy. You're just interested in a book to read, right? Right.

In unrelated news I picked up some hummingbird feeders because this place could use some local wildlife and also they are savage little beasts. 

I Went There: San Diego

 (One in an occasional series.) 

In seven short days earlier this month I was in Vegas (we talked about it), briefly home, Whale's Vagina San Diego, very briefly home, Seattle, then finally, happily home. It was a full week.


The view from my hotel in San Diego was good enough that I took a picture in the daytime and evening. Not a bad work environment, yeah?

This year was a lot better than last year, not least because I fired the lying slooze I took with me last year and also because nothing under the bed tried to kill me. Big win all around.

Han Yolo

Scott send me this, because he is awesome like that. He sent it just before I went to Vegas a couple weeks ago and it was prophetic because that is the same brand and size of vodka that we ended up ordering. In summary: I love America.

Cats are Great: Crossfit with Lucky

Baby Weights bc My Lower Back Is (Apparently) Made of Tissue Paper

Some people think cats are only okay. I get it. I'm on board with the concept, understand the sentiment. I think cats are great, but I also think dogs are great, and octopi are great. If you had a pig that was funny and did funny pig-things then I would think that is pretty great, too. I'm an equal-opportunity appreciator of animals. (Except 'toy' dogs - animals are not 'toys'. Ugh.)

So when Lucky the Cat made his gym visit the other day I made sure to take a short time out and greet him warmly. Some cats (or dogs, or octopi) would be frightened by the loud noise of weights being dropped and bars banging around and so forth. Lucky, in true cat fashion, strolled through the front door into a room full of deadly objects and ignored them completely, because he doesn't give a shit what you're doing. He wants to check it out, maybe get some attention if you're not too busy working on your cleans or whatever, maybe have a lie down. He decides when he gets there.

Anyway, that's the fat kid, and also a cat. It's the little things.

Health Check: BMI

Company has us do a cursory annual checkup to get a 20% discount on our health insurance. I dread it because I have to give blood and that means I have to lie down while it happens because it makes me woozy. :-(

The other thing they do is take height and weight measurements and return a BMI result. Turns out my BMI is out of the normal recommended range, which means that I either need to lose some ell bees or the BMI reference range is... flawed? Probably both.

Visual Aid

Visited with a friend of mine that is cat-sitting. One of the cat's people (the cat does not belong to you, you belong to the cat) is a graphic designer and she made notes in this style for all things cat-related. They are awesome.

The best part about this artwork is that the cat himself is not at all 'cute'. He is the cat analog of my friend Chad Wesley Smith: a triangle-shaped head planted directly on enormous shoulders, with no discernible neck. Yeti is a good name for him. The cat is not at all fat - he's more like a brick with four legs and a tail. But: super cute drawings!

I Went There: Las Vegas (Surrender / Flosstradamus)

Vegas Photobooth is Best Photobooth*

(One in an occasional series.) 

Vegas is great in small doses - I can do everything I want to do in 24 hours and after that I just want to get the hell out of town. If you can't fit it all in in 24 hours then you and I are having very different experiences and you should come with me next time.

That said: Met some friends in Las Vegas for a quiet, introspective afternoon/evening/night/morning of dinner and light conversation. Our dinner reservation was at 8 PM, and I got back to my room at juuuust before 6 AM.

"Stayed" (read: stored my suitcase / showered / changed into my suit) at the Venetian, which is nice because Tao is a good option for dinner (you gotta eat(?)) and your club entry fee is included, should you decide to go to Tao.

We opted to get a bottle/table at Surrender so we could soak up the sweet hotness that is Flosstradamus. I described it as 'turnt as fuck', which was apt. Flosstradamus is on fire right now: They killed their set, and then they wadded it up into a ball and launched it on a rocket into the sun. Champagne was sprayed, fun was had, people were [REDACTED], and [REDACTED] and we ended up [REDACTED]. 

Caught my flight home, took a much-needed nap but didn't even put my suitcase away because I have to travel twice this week. Yeesh. I'm tired just thinking about it.

* I'm not in that picture - that is my friend Scozzo, last seen trying to kill me buying me drinks in Manhattan.

Baby Sloth!

We love sloths around here. They are built to hug. Who doesn't love that?

This guy lives at the ZSL London Zoo, which is redundant because ZSL stands for Zoological Society of London. Whatever. Enjoy. 

Cat Sitting is Fun. Ish. Fun-ish.

Thirsty Cat is Thirsty

You Taking a Picture?

When I babysit my friends socially awkward cat we have a pretty good time. She is the cat-analog of the last girl I dated in that our relationship improved dramatically when I learned she preferred to be ignored. 

Stella Cat wants to feel like she is stealthy (she is not at all stealthy). Best if you don't look at her. As long as I did not try to do something weird like pet her or sit by her or notice her directly then she will sit close by (NO TOUCHING, unless she sits and touches you), drink my water, or maybe rub her face on the camera when I tried to take a picture. Anything more than that and she gets uncomfortable. My friend's wife, who picked the cat out at a shelter, was hoping for a companion that would sit in her lap and be her friend. She gets none of that, and instead says, "we just have to find new ways to love her". Life lessons!

She is not the worst cat - she is harmless to anything but the couch, and although her social awkwardness is awkward she avoids all people equally (though she seems to like me well enough). She even lets you pick her up, after a fashion. We had some good times watching HBO and napping. Plus she made sure to get some cat hair in my work bag so I could wear it on my suit the last time I had a meeting. Good one, Stella Cat.

Local Wildlife: Green June Bug, with Bonus Fig

This One is Mine - Get Your Own

I live in the cheapest one-bedroom-with-a-garage apartment in Eastside Costa Mesa. It's not that bad of an apartment, but as my good friend Mitch Broadsky once told me, "you know what 'not that bad' means? It means it's not that good, either." (This is a universal life truth that I love and cherish; they should print it on money.)

Looked at moving but the garage requirement and the fact that I prefer to put my money in the bank light my money on fire keeping my car running means I am better off where I am. You care. Anyway, one of the highlights of this dumpy-ass apartment with the shady-as-hell alley that runs behind it is the adjacent truly-shithole-of-a-triplex that fronts the shady-as-hell alley. That place is very definitely a dump but at some point in the distant past a resident planted some fruit trees: apricot, peach and fig, plus probably others that didn't thrive on neglect and have since given up.

The adjacent backyard is fenced, overgrown and filled with derelict trash. The fig tree is something of a minor miracle, situated adjacent to an alley that runs between a strip mall and apartment complex, surviving the worst drought in recorded California history, and literally covered with the most delicious figs you could hope to eat. In order to get to them I have to stand on a rickety-ass fence and maybe lean on another rickety-ass fence (of course all fences are unstable, bc: see previous descriptions of the units) and brave birds and bird poops, fig leaves (not for nothing, but: fig leaves are irritating as hell when they touch your skin), and green june bugs that are perfectly harmless but can be a bit distracting if they lift off in front of your unsuspecting face and/or you grab one when you are trying to get your mitts on a tasty fig, which: fucking hell, man.

Turns out another name for the green june bug is "fig beetle", which makes sense as these guys are all over the figs, as are the local birds and whatever else can get their paws/claws on them (raccoons, possums, rats, and etc). They are very beautiful - photos do not do them justice as they do not come close to capturing their radiant green iridescence. They are also only slightly more aerodynamic than a VW bus, and although lovely to look at they will bump into / land on your face if you accidentally harass them. Just clumsy or something more... sinister? Hard to say. Proceed with caution.

Note that they will not actually do anything to your face but if you want a big ass beetle strolling around on your gob while you stand/lean on two rickety ass fences then you should become an entomologist and/or stop by my house and see how it feels. To be honest, it's not that bad. And the figs are superb.

Local Wildlife: Paco the Lizard

This little guy would fit comfortably on a quarter when I took the photo. I haven't seen him for a couple weeks so hopefully he is still kicking around, doing lizard things. There aren't many cats in the area but pretty much everything will eat a lizard that size, including other lizards. With some luck he is lurking around in the ivy downstairs, waiting for it to be less scorching hot so he can get out and hustle up some grub.