Lord help me I want to slap this guy in the face

I could give a shit about Tiger Woods. He plays golf, he's good at it, whatever. Rich white people everywhere feel better about themselves because he's sort of almost black and they like him. As a person he's... no idea, because I've never met him. As a media product he's paper thin, heavily controlled, and very well packaged. His highly public transgressions made for hilarious reading over on wwtdd.com, and I confess that I enjoyed that very much.

What the hell is the guy in this video doing? He's a professional announcer. This baglicking sack of mouthfart can't even get the words out after Woods deigned to speak to the media and assembled 'friends'. How about a little perspective? People are dying in wars all over the world. People in Haiti are about to start dying of dysentery and cholera. I'm turning 36 tomorrow. Fuck.