Shit yourself thin; plus, more olympics!

'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man

Blah blah olympics blah blah blah. I feel bad for the US girl that fell down on the balance beam and again on the floor exercises. After she biffed she had to stand up straight and watch her teammates compete while they shoved cameras in her face. Nowhere to hide. That was hard to watch so I changed the channel. I feel badly enough when they fall; I don't need to watch them blink back tears afterwards. Which reminds me, some of the older US gymnastics girls would be pretty hot if they were adult sized. Unlike China, who fields girls way under the age limit like it's no big deal.

In other news the onion is still making superb videos and they've had a scientific breakthrough. You'll have to watch and decide for yourself.