TMJ is God's way of telling you that you need to lose a few lbs. And shut up.

Woke up a couple weeks ago and my jaw was really bothering me.



(I'm waiting for you to finish your fellatio joke(s).
Go ahead. I've got time.)



You done? Great.
The doctor says I have TMJ. Something something jaw hurts something. I have a sprained jaw. How does this happen? Well, it comes from stress, or if you're grinding/clenching your teeth. I don't have much in the way of stress but it happened immediately after some super awesome news about my mom.

The whole story takes a long time to tell but the short version is my sister is exploiting my mother to full advantage. I can feel my jaw start to hurt just typing that. My stepdad gave me the whole scoop. We talked for hours. We don't have a lot in common but we have both been witness to the crazy. The next day I had TMJ. Basically my mom supports all the idiotic stuff my sister does and expects Tony to pay for it after Cris runs out of money (they have separate accounts because if they didn't then my mother would just give my sister all the money - you would think there's a life-lesson there for Cris, but you'd be wrong).

When Tony says no, my mother says he's the enemy, and he should "think of his daughter, and think of his grand-daughter". This is some serious crazy. Bear in mind that my sister was already on her way to loserville years before Tony ever showed up. AND my sister talks to her real father on a regular basis. But she can't get money from him because he doesn't have any. Neither does Tony, but that doesn't mean Cris and my sister can't hold it against him. It is a frustration. I want to kick them both in the teeth. Very christian of me. You would think that after 20 years of being a leech/loser my mother would catch on to the fact that my sister is an irredeemable piece of shit. You'd be wrong about that, too.

On the upside: muscle relaxers for everybody! I'll set some aside. Get your orders in now.