yeah I haven't felt like writing this week.
it's a copout, writing about not writing, but there it is.
usually funny stuff happens to me and then I write about it. but not lately. hmm... that's not completely true. check this out...
I was at a wedding on saturday and me and my buddy were putting the finishing touches on our buzz after the reception. so we went to a bar in Corona del Mar (i was in my tux). while at the bar, I overheard the following exchange. I overheard it because one of the participants was me, and the other was a 40 yr old woman (for the record, she was attractive).
40 year old woman [indicating my stockpile of drinks on the bar]: are you hoarding drinks? [smiles]
drunk case [wobbling slightly]: no. i'm stockpiling. [leans on bar, looks bored/drunk/sophisticated]
40yow [tosses hair]: huh! you guys are soooo cute!
dc [still wobbly]: hmmmm... ya think?
40yow: for suuure! so, you guys like [name of bar]? is it because of all the hot older women?
dc [looking confused/ill]: no.
40yow [eyeing another woman jealously]: I can't wait until I get my surgery done.
dc [aghast]: huh?
40yow: my surgery. I'm getting the full workup now that i'm 40 - lipo my hips and waist, plus new boobs. I'm gonna be hot! [giggles]
[partner makes joke here - all laugh - I can't remember, except that it wasn't that funny]
40yow [steps closer]: so, what's with you younger guys going after older women? why do people do that?
dc [in inexplicable moment of clarity, esp. given current condition]: same reason as all other human relationships, both parties get what they want.
40yow [steps closer still]: wow! i've never heard that! you smell gooooooood! [sniffs neck, touches lapel, etc.]
dc [sensing danger]: uhh, yeah. we gotta go to... uhh... the other bar.
40yow: already? well, okay. you boys have a good time tonight! [giggles]
[exeunt all, rapidly]
only in Corona del Mar. or La Jolla. or LA. or lots of other places. but especially in CDM.
Hey, cougars are actually supposed to be women who are old enough to be your mother, not a Few Years Older!
ReplyDelete-- Offended Older Woman ;-)
there is some disagreement about the exact definition of a cougar.
ReplyDeleteold enough to be my mother? i'm 32. I don't think women old enough to be my mother even go to bars.
my def'n of a cougar: a divorced, forty-something woman at the bar, trolling for some fresh meat. this girl fit the profile. barely.